Advil

Tonight I am grateful for modern medicine and all the comfort it gives us. As crunchy as I can get when it comes to food and eating naturally, I don't eschew medicine. I try to use it as sparingly as I can but man. Sometimes you gotta hit the Advil and then the couch. Which is where I am going next.

Stuff

Today I am grateful for stuff. Even though I rail against having to clean, sort, store all this *stuff* I am blessed to have such a problem. It's a self made problem. My girls don't need all the toys we are able to give them. I am lucky I can indulge whims--both theirs and mine. I don't need all the kitchen gadgets and cook ware and serving platters and such that I cram into my cupboards. Surely I don't need to keep five different types of sugar and at least four flours on hand at all times, but it makes me happy to have a well-stocked larder.

There are bigger things. We are lucky to have a dishwasher. A washer and dryer. A television and stereo system and all the goods that come with that including a closet full of movies and albums by our favorite artists. A sewing machine. Computers. Books. Tools and crafty items. Art supplies. The little things that make life fun and a house an entertaining place to be.

We have a house. No mean feat in the South Bay where just last year only 18% of the population could afford the median home prices. And within this home we manage to fit all this stuff.

In my cleaning and organizing and dusting and washing and stepping on things and finding pockets of clutter that make me crazy moments I need to remember to step back and be grateful because I am able to have this stuff. This fluff. This cherry on top kind of life. And not everyone does.

Pie

Tonight, gratitude in pictorial form. This is how I was able to spend my afternoon while John was running errands and the girls were sleeping. Baking centers my soul. And for this, I am grateful.

Sliced and Spiced--waiting to be arranged in the crust


Mile High Apples--the recipe called for 3 1/4 pounds of sliced apples


Cinnamon Crumb Topping--I really wanted that Dutch apple complexity for these lovely apples


Out of the Oven--golden brown and smelling so fall like. *swoon*


Slice and Serve--the crumb topping cracked like creme brulee but the pie held together in perfect slabs of happiness



The apples were the ones we picked earlier this week from the tree in the backyard. They turned into pie as wonderfully as I could have hoped for. I'm so excited for next years crop.

Amazon.com

Tonight, as silly as it might seem, I am grateful for Amazon.com.

Yes, Internet shopping.

I am a recent convert. I really like brick and mortar shopping. I like interacting with people...I am in love with small family run toy stores and shop at those places when I can. I love touching objects and getting new ideas from looking at the selections. And there is something to be said about getting a feel for the quality of an item before you purchase it. So Internet shopping was not really my thing.

It started with Half.com. CD's. Movies. Text books. Easy things. Then I discovered Amazon. It was a flirtation at first. The I had Maia and shopping became a touch more...complex. And when I had two tiny infants for the Christmas season last year Amazon became a life saver.

This year, I am really trying to get a jump on my Christmas game. I have more folks to shop for (yay babies!!) and less time to get stuff together because we are spending Christmas with our out of state family, which means we need to ship presents. That double stroller takes up a whole bunch of trunk space!

Enter Amazon. I actually have a paper list running and tomorrow I think I might start an actual Amazon list. I "accidentally" signed up for Amazon Prime (the yearly subscription that gets you free two-day shipping). I hope to have shopping done by Thanksgiving...barring those few last minute items that always come up. But with two-day shipping I'll probably just Amazon those as well. The plus is no cranky kids in stores, no wandering around the mall and no subterfuge trying to disuade those same small children from believing those presents are for them. And no, you can't play with that toy for your "cousin".

So thank you Amazon.com for making what is a stressful time (shopping) a plesent time (unless you don't have what I need!!). I think I might go see what you have to offer right about now.

Getting Out

Today I left the house. As we do almost every day. And for this I am grateful. As much as I love my home (and I do love home, I am a homebody in my heart of hearts) I love it more when we're coming back to it and not staying there all day--day after day.

Quiet

I am grateful for the quiet time I have after the girls have gone to bed. We keep a nice night-time schedule for this very reason. I love my girls...I love them even more after I've been able to spend some time with just my thoughts. And sometimes television.

Tonight is quiet. Naps have been spotty this week and the post bedtime silence is the only I've been able to savor. So now I am going to sign off and do a little actual book reading.

Enjoy your quiet time as well.

Friends

Today is a big does of gratitude. One I feel I fail at mentioning in the moment and am figuring out ways I can express better. I am so very grateful for my friends.

The girls and I have been branching out and just about every week we have an adventure with our "pre-school friends". This is a group of women I'm fairly new to although I feel very welcomed by. They include my amazing childhood friend and her children who I am also very grateful for reconnecting with...but I digress. Most of our group have at least two children (so Stella and Elsie get some peer time too) but they all are always willing to lend me a hand with my (sometimes) special challenges.

There was the time when my double stroller wouldn't fit through the bike path gates and everyone just grabbed a baby while I pulled it through. And the times swimming when someone would hold a dripping child while I wrangled two more out of the pool. Or lunches where food is passed around. Or at the Children's Museum where I got to spend a quiet half hour playing with Stella and Elsie while Maia got to play with her friends elsewhere. Or today where Maia was watched by another mom while I held Stella and Elise on the carousel...and when Stella and Elsie were watched in the stroller while I took Maia for another ride...and again where Maia was watched on the ride while I stayed with Stella and Elise (yes, there were three carousel rides today)

I love the fact that I have so many friends willing to lend me hand. It makes going out and doing a possibility in my life. And if we weren't able to go out and play we'd all be driven stir crazy in no time flat.

Thank you, to all my friends. I love your companionship, your children, your views on life, your conversation, your ideas and your sometimes spare hands. Thank you for making all of our days that much brighter.

Apples

I was avoiding kitchen duty, again, when the perfect excuse caught my eye. Apples. In our back yard we have a Pink Lady apple tree. It's a small thing but for the past two years it's produced a couple pounds of apples. Unfortunately last year most of those went to the squirrels. So when I saw those little branches laden with dusty red orbs, I knew I should just go out and harvest. Plus, way better than scrubbing pots. So out went Miss Maia and I with a basket to see what we could save. I ended up composting about half the crop for one reason or another...some were bug eaten, some bird pecked, some just withered on the branch. But right now beside me I have 3-4 pounds of good looking apples and I have heard tell of a cold front moving in this weekend, so it's going to be apple pie time.

I am so excited. For pie, first and for most. But also I'm excited at the prospect of making something from my little garden and giving Maia her first real "farm to table" experience. Living the urban life we do, and with a mom (to clarify, that would be me) who is the least competent backyard farmer ever, we haven't had many opportunities to share food that we've tended, picked, cooked and then eaten. It's an experience that I feel is really important and one I would like to encourage. I love nothing better than to eat really fresh food, and what could be fresher than our own apples? Totally organic and the distance from "grove" to table is mere steps.

Who knows? This could be the pie that gets me all geared up to put in a garden come late winter. So today I am grateful for those apples and the chance to share a teaching moment with Maia. Come the weekend, I think I'm going to be grateful for pie.

Sunshine

Despite being bone-dead tired right now (like I usually am at the end of the day) I do love the hour roll back of Fall. I wish we didn't switch out of standard Time and into Daylight Savings in the first place. But that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish.

I love having the sun up and shining in the morning. I feel so good to start off my day with a dose of light. Today I was up and showered and had the girls up and breakfasted and we even manged to get out the door and to preschool early. Woah. I got my grocery shopping done and even got to have a surprise lunch with John. Yay! All in all a very lovely day.

So today I celebrate that sunlight in the morning. I'm going to embrace getting up and out because that, more than anything else, sets my day up for success. I hope you are enjoying your sunshine as well.

November First--A Month of Thansgiving

Today marks the beginning of NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month. An exercise to get into the habit of blogging, a habit I have never really formed. I was never good at journaling in general...

In any case, I am going to give NaBloPoMo another shot. I tried it two years ago and almost made it. This year I am giving myself a theme and an easy way to accomplish my goal. I am going to find an instance everyday I am thankful for and write it down. This way I am going to have a month filled with gratitude, perfect for the Thanksgiving holiday coming up, and I hope to give my own head a positive push as we all head into the busy and often stressful greater holiday season (read: Christmas).

Today I am excited that I have reached my weight loss goal. I officially weighed in at 144.6 pounds yesterday at my meeting, a loss of over 55 pounds from when I started in January. It took me 39 recorded weeks--there might have been a week I missed while on vacation--to get here. Not bad at all. I'm excited to be in the maintenence phase and I am going to stay here for the duration. I feel great and I get such a thrill picking up a pair jeans and thinking, wait, these are way to small for me! And then realizing that those jeans are indeed mine.

Now, I just need to keep out of Maia's Halloween bucket!

Happy Year Five

Tomorrow marks the fifth anniversary of my marriage to John. Five years. Three children. Millions of kisses and too much love to fit in my arms.

Tonight, John put the girls to bed so I could go out and get a quick hair cut and a pedicure. He had me dash out, dirty dishes in the sink, babies ready to sleep and toddler in play mode just so I could go and feel pretty. He always manages to make me feel like the most loved person on the planet. His concern for me, for our daughters and our extended family never ceases to amaze me. He is a rock. Dependable. Solid. Responsible. Never, ever boring. His sense of humor is wicked and his take on life is refreshing and relevant. He plays a mean game of Mario Cart and never lets me win. Because he knows I just love the chase.

I have been blessed with a partner who always kisses me when he comes home from work. I have been blessed by a man who goes to work each day and makes it a priority to have me stay home with the kids. He rarely complains and loves the food I cook for him. He is my biggest fan and cheerleader. I hope he knows that I am the same for him.

Good times, bad times (well, with him even the bad times aren't so bad) I am able to experience them all with John by my side. I thank my lucky stars every night for putting him into my crazy path nine years ago. And I am so proud to point him out to anyone we meet and say, "There is my husband."

I love you, sweets. Happy anniversary.

One

What a week. Busy doesn't even cover it. And this week is going to be even more of the same. But first, a moment to think about what is going to happen tomorrow.

Stella and Elise will be turning one.

We've all gone from me not even knowing I was in labor, to a wonderful non-eventful birth, to a week--the worst week in our lives--of being in and out of the NICU to finally having both our sweet tiny babies home with us. And then learning how to raise infants all over again. In stereo. But with breakfast.

What a year. In some ways, the best year I've had so far and in many the most challenging. Many tears were shed. Many frustrations vented. Many laughs shared. Watching Stella and Elise grow into themselves and become the creatures they are right now and knowing that this is who they are going to be as adults in many ways has been fascinating.

Watching Maia grow as a toddler, now pre-schooler, and learning how to be a "big sister" has been amazing. The three of them have wonderful complex interactions. As siblings should. I think I'm blessed at having three so close. I hope those girls are forging some good life time relationships.

I'm amazed at where our little family is. I hope this next year provides us with more of the same...but maybe less crying. ;)

Winter Garden?

Along with everything else we have going on, the garden bug has bit me. I would like to put in a winter garden...to make our summer garden even better next year.

Now if only this heat wave would end I'd be outside behind the shed with a hoe.

Time to Regroup and Regather

Summer is almost over. School has started up once again here and the parks are emptying out as the regular routines become reestablished.

We've been home at least as long as we were gone this summer and I am just now feeling like I can get my act together. I'm planning and thinking and deciding on the tone for our next year. Fall has always been the beginning of my year. The human-established rhythm of school eclipses the natural rhythms of harvest and planting. The sun has less influence of my daily life than the "Back to School" banners currently covering every store.

Stella and Elise are about to turn one. They are no longer infant blobs but little people with personalities and some impressive skills. Maia is three, spelling her name, drawing pictures that look like her world and holding court with strangers we meet while out and about. John and I are about to celebrate our fifth year of marriage...and soon we'll celebrate our ninth year as a couple.

Big milestones. And high time for me to take some control and shape our days and evenings into the family life we all desire and deserve. Establishing a family routine is not always easy. We've gotten started with family dinner--but we've allowed a certain amount of fluidity in that. But it's there. It's a beginning.

Preschool is going to start up, and while I feel like we're losing some of our good friends to more traditional schools, we're gaining great new ones in our non-traditional setting. I'm excited about taking on more as a teacher to my children and working with a good group of new women friends.

I've been asked to do some writing for a collabortive blog. I'm going to write about food as nourishment for home--not just for body. I am very excited to take this on. I would like to make a commitment to post at least one thoughtful essay a week. Some day, I would like to start my own food blog. Perhaps...next fall.

For now, I'm getting my ducks in a row and watching the last bits of Summer pass into our beautiful Indian Summer (I always think of this time as pre-fall) and waiting for a touch of chill in the air to signal that my new year has begun.

This is What Motherhood is All About

Maia came into our bedroom this morning, as she does every morning, to tell us that the sisters were awake and that I needed to get up and "Make me some breakfast".

She's standing by the bed and the covers are pulled down. I roll over to give John a sleepy good morning kiss and squeeze when I hear Maia speak up: "Mom. You have hair on your bum-bum. Maybe you should put on some pants."

Hmmm...maybe I should go back to my esthetician for a good waxing.

Adventure Day

I decided to blow everyone off today and take the girls for an adventure. I know, right. Packed them up and headed to The Monterey Bay Aquarium. We have passes we have under-utilized and I could tell it was just an ocean side sort of day.

Wish I had remembered to pop the camera into the bag, but I never seem to have enough hands to operate it anyway. Too bad. We had a wonderful time, despite the fact that it was "limited mobility" day and the number of wheelchairs and walkers competing for floor space with my double-wide stroller + toddler was just frightening.

Didn't do too much by way of sitting and watching fish swim by, but we did do a whole lot of water play, running, sliding, whale naming, computer playing and starfish touching. That was just Maia. Stella and Elise fish watched, open mouthed and astounded, crawled in a "kelp forest", made new friends, crawled in a baby circle, laughed and ate snacks in the stroller. I just tried to keep up. That is waaay enough for me.

The girls all behaved like the lovely ladies they are. More times like these, I might just begin to believe I'm a good mom. ;)

Back into the Swing

So. Our back porch chest freezer went out while we were on vacation. Of course. This time wasn't as bad last time, thanks to having vaccum sealed meat as opposed to butcher-paper wrapped. Still. 20 pounds of rotten hamburger and assorted steaks (all the good cuts we've been saving natch) make a healthy stink. And because we never did replace the plug on the front the drippings attracted a slew of ants. And some of those ants found their way into the house.

Good thing I did a fairly good wipe-down before leaving, otherwise I'd have gotten back in the car and driven back to Idaho. I hate ant infestations.

I'm fairly zen when it comes to most common household bugs. Mostly because killing them creeps me out more than just letting them be to a certain extent. Not ants. I go bonkers over even one...because I just know there are thousands more waiting in the wings. Yesterday I cleaned up the small trail, wiped down the counters and swept up the floor. This morning they came back. I was ready. I know the game.

Today it was ant spray on the outside of the door where they seem to be coming in. And spray on the deck by the (now clean, thanks John!) chest freezer. And pellets for good measure. Then a good deep scrub of the kitchen floor plus an airing out of the kitchen rug.

I'll finish working through the living room...gotta unpack today I think. At least I should start the process. Getting back into the rhythm of daily life is hard. But it's all worthwhile in the end.

Family Dinner

We are trying to get family dinner back on track, now that we have returned from our various adventures. The babies, being almost a year, (!) can now stay up a little later and we could stand to eat a little earlier and that way we can all eat together. I really believe that at least one family meal a day is really important and if we begin now by the time the kids are in school and busy dinner will be a habit and a cornerstone of our daily lives.

Tonight was the first great experiment and now I have a better understanding of what might work and what I need to work on.

Dinner was lovely. Grilled chicken sausages, heirloom tomato and fresh Buffalo mozzerala salad, sweet corn on the cob. Perfect summertime meal. I cut fresh corn for Stella and Elise, plated everything else for the older eaters and had dinner on the table by 6:30. The corn was well met. Well, Stella ate it like nothing else, of course, Elsie liked to grab a handful and drop it off the table. Great. But still, we all had a plate of *almost* the same food and were enjoying each others company.

Maia got a bit contrary...and it cemented in me the desire to keep a family meal going. The past month or two we've been having seperate meals. I've been making Maia "toddler food" along with Stella and Elises' baby food and then a dinner for John and myself. She has been living on chicken tenders and mac 'n' cheese and if we're not careful, she'll really start refusing to eat anything else. That would kill me. Tonight she insisted she didn't like tomatoes (she eats cherry tomatoes like candy), or sausage (she loves hot dogs and meat). We made her eat half her sausage and try her tomatoes (she inhaled her "white sweet corn") and drink her milk. I know. Worst parents ever. She likes food and I don't want her to forget that fact.

Stella enjoyed the new variety of foods--from corn to sausage and then. Buffalo mozzerella! I'll get her to be a gourmet baby yet. Elsie liked--playing with her food. But enough got in that I think she'll do alright.

My goal is to have dinner on the table at 6 PM sharp. Babies in bed by 7:30 and Maia to follow by 8. That still gives John and I some evening time to be grown ups together. We'll see how it plays out, but I am going to try my darndest. Because it's important. And delicious.

So Begins our Summer Adventure

And he's OFF! John took off for his motorcycle trip this afternoon...later than he'd hoped but ready, I hope, to have a grand adventure with his dad.

I'm here with the girls ready to: clean, pack, sleep, swim, play with friends, and take off to the Great Pacific Northwest on Sunday! Woo-hoo!

My obligations have been taken care of so now it's house prep and trip prep. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. It will be surreal to travel with my girls and not my husband. But it will be empowering as well, if we survive! (and of course we will)

I've got my route mapped and my hotel booked, with the (by now) obligitory "You're a busy mom" comment from the booking agent. I guess they get few requests for a room for one adult and three small children.

I'll let you know how it goes.

A Few Good Things

I've been whining.

So the following is a random list of some very good things that have happened recently:

1. Saw Death Cab for Cutie with John at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. I have loved the band for a long time but this was the first time seeing them live. We managed to squeeze into some great "seats" (general admission we were standing) and the show was great. Lots of good music, some fun banter and a good crowd. A lovely evening...we would like to go to some more live shows in the future. Also, best "sing along" I've been a part of at a concert. The crowd added to the depth of feeling in the song and it was just...perfect. So happy.

2. I have reached a new low in my quest for weight loss. I broke into the 150's and am currently a bit loose in my size 12's. These are numbers I have never seen in my adult life. Also so happy.

3. I spent a weekend in Hollywood with a good friend of mine. I went alone and got silly, slept in, went to a Farmer's Market that served drinks, made trailer cupcakes, danced at a goth club, ate yummy food and so awful-it-was-addictive food came home to a sparkling clean house, dinner, clean children and a happy husband. Very happy.

4. Elise can crawl like nobody's business.

5. Maia knows how to swim. And loves the water--on her own terms.

6. I found the perfect all-butter sugar cookie recipe. The one I've been looking for. No fuss, delicious cookies. Soft, crunchy, buttery but not shortbread-y. I'm happy. My waist line might not be.

7. Stella is a snuggle baby. I love that.

8. We are going on a date tomorrow night. We are hiring a babysitter (our first paid one) and going out for some one-on-one adult time. I think I will even go out and buy a new dress for the occasion. Or a skirt. Because all my skirts are too big. :)

Restless

We've been busy. Very busy. Maia just finished up five weeks of swim lessons--which is wonderful but scheduled activities always take more time than I suppose. I love to watch her in the water. She has so much confidence, and if she would gain just a bit more she would be swimming laps in no time. We spent most of this week at the pool. I love it. I wish I had my own, I think I'd never leave the house. So maybe it's a good thing we don't. ;)

But in between the fun we've been having is a nagging sense of restlessness on my part. I'm not comfortable in my own skin right now. I'm feeling disconnected and out of sorts. I want some time alone, or maybe I just want some child-free time. John has been working up a storm and I am feeling the weight of parental responsibility. Yea, I know. I signed up for it, but everybody needs a lunch break every now and then.

I have this crazy fantasy of showing up at John's office and sweeping him away for an evening of delicious food and good conversation. It involves a new dress and a babysitter and the look of surprise on John's face. But I'm afraid that's to remain a fantasy. The logistics are too overwhelming in this case to actually make something like that happen.

Second plan? None.

We need to get ready for our trip...which is currently in a state of flux. So I don't want to make too many plans until I know if John is coming with us or heading on his own adventure. I'm kind nervous about taking all the kids on my own. I'm trying to think about how I will unload the car, and haul all of them through rest stops, restaurants and hotels. Where will we all sleep? And three meals on the road? One will be in the car, but still. I have to figure how I can keep the stroller assembled and still fit in the babies pack-n-plays and a large suitcase for all of our goods. So far the best plan I've come up with involves packing an overnight bag separately so I don't have to unload the entire back of the car for one overnight stay.

That's something at least.

Maia is now up and I must begin my day in earnest. Good morning.

Open to the World

Alright, big news! Maia, Stella and Elise each have their own on-line "baby books" now live and ready for viewing.

Stories and pictures of Maia can be found at: http://maiaevelyn.com/
Stories and pictures of Stella can be found at: http://stellamadeline.com/
Stories and pictures of Elsie can be found at: http://elisecarolyn.com/

The blogs are still a work in progress with John hard at work updating pictures and layouts, but we thought we'd go ahead and open them up for the world to see.

Have fun coming along on the adventures of our three little ones.

Night and the Sitting Baby

John and I employ a whole lot of ignoring when it comes to night-time wake ups with the girls. We let them fuss for a few and usually they settle right down again. Stella and Elise are big enough at this point that they do not need a night feeding and small wake-ups from teething or just the normal cycle of sleep-wake aren't made a big deal of because then those wakings will turn to habits.

Last night was a crazy night, sleep wise, for everyone. We were at a Fourth of July celebration and though we said we weren't going to stay late, of course we did. We ended up putting Stella and Elise down at our friend's house and then packing them home around 9 PM. So "bed" in their own beds didn't happen until after 10 PM. They seemed to be fine until we heard the wail at 2 AM. Stella was agitated. Very much so. We chalked it up to the strange night and let her fuss for about 5 minutes. Then she was quiet and we dozed off again. Around 2:30 she was at it again, just kind of fussing and moaning and then quiet. At 3 when she began wailing in earnest I decided it was time to get her out of bed, feed her something and get her to sleep again before all her sisters were up in the middle of the night.

I stumbled sleepily into the bedroom and there was Stella. Sitting in bed. I've never seem her sitting (on her own from a prone position) before and it was kind of strange. I brushed it off, picked her up and proceeded to feed, cuddle and get her back into bed with a minimum of thinking.

As I turned off the kitchen light and headed back to my own bed a thought fluttered into my addled brain. Stella doesn't like to go from a sitting position to the ground. She doesn't like to fall and has yet to figure out the controlled way to get herself down. How she got up by herself is a mystery....but she did manage it somehow. But, I wondered, was her fussing because she simply didn't know how to get down again?

I really hope she wasn't sitting in bed for an hour just waiting for someone to put her down. If she wakes up tonight, I'm checking out the night vision camera and then...we'll be working on Stella's dismount.

Nine Fourteen PM (PDT)

It's 9:14 and I am too tired to clean, cook, pack a lunch for tomorrow or bake. This sucks and I finished the book I was reading.

Sigh. I should motivate.

Let Down and Release

I am feeling very tired from the past two weeks. Ready to nap, get the kids in bed early, and loaf about. Alas...I have adult life to live somewhere off the Internets and I can smell one of my children right now. It smells like work. And blah, I can't remember what I planned on making for dinner tonight.

Bonus extra: Maia just wet her bed. Her loft bed. With less than 3 hours until bed time to get the darn thing changed up. Sigh. Here I go, then.

Not My Favorite Thing About Babies

Stella is a vicious explosive baby this morning. Started off with a 5 AM wake up call...which I let slide until 5:45. Upon entering the room I discovered that she'd overfilled her diaper with poop...and now I must strip her bed and have it all washed by nap time, because, of course, I don't have a spare mattress pad.

After a 1/2 hour diaper and clothes change I gave her and Elsie their morning bottles only to have Miss Stella violently gag and throw up at least half of her breakfast. On me. She had just finished the last pull when this happened. It was still warm and that sucks. So now I must also strip the futon cover (big pain in the butt) and get it in the wash. Because this room will fast smell like rancid puke once the day heats up.

At least Maia is still asleep and the twinks are now playing quietly. Once John gets up, I think I'm going back to bed.

What Not to Say to an 8-Month Old

Because Stella has hip and cool (ahem) parents she is sporting a leopard print correctional helmet. Yes, she has a problem with the shape of her head. It's growing out nicely now, thanks to the helmet. But it is very obvious and we receive numerous comments on it, ranging from "Why is she wearing a helmet?" to "What a great hat/helmet!" But we've never run into the scene we experienced last Saturday at Costco.

Stella was riding in the ergo carrier with John as we walked past the bakery where a very forward older woman was hawking Costco croissants and giving out samples. We stopped to give Maia a bite and as we were turning around to head to the fruit section the Costco Sample Lady says in a very loud smoker's voice "What a sexy helmet!" My reaction? "Ummmm...thanks?" John begins to move a bit quicker away from the Costco Sample Lady but...she follows us to tell us more. "Yeah, that's a sexy pattern...my mother had a nightgown with the same pattern so I know it real well."

Really? Thanks for sharing...we just smiled and nodded and backed away as quickly a politeness would allow. I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd let out a "Rawr!" followed by a bawdy wink.

I think this is the kind of thing John was afraid of when he expressed doubt as to whether or not leopard was appropraite for our daughter. Yikes.

Mother's Day

The following exchanges were overheard at the park this afternoon.

Father (of ~3yo girl): Where's Kate?
Grandfather (of same): I thought she was with you.
Father: No. She didn't come with me.
Grandfather: She said she wanted to go with you...

Now very concerned looking around the playground. And then they head off in the oppsite direction of where Father had just come from.

Me: I saw her go (points while feeding infant daughters) that way, after you.

Father and Grandfather turn in correct direction and find said child happily playing at the adjoining play area. Whew!

(Different) Father (watching two children in the enclosed play area): They're going in different directions! I need backup!!

This was directed to Mother and Friend who were chatting five feet away from the play structure.

Happy Mother's Day to everyone.

Happy Month-Day Girls!

Stella and Elise turn eight months today! Hooray girls!

In related news, I sleep through the night and am enjoying a regular morning nap. Well, I don't nap but the babies do. Morning nap is quiet play time for Maia and myself, although today I might perhaps try to make headway in the disgrace that is my kitchen.

Or waste time on the Internets. Whichever will be more fun. ;)

Favorite Things

I've decided that my new favorite place is the playroom. I've installed my computer here by the futon and perched on the couch I can watch the girls play and read/write/laze about while feel like I'm not totally ignoring my children. It is also the one room that I can control the chaos in. The toys all have a place and it thrills me to no end to find the missing pieces of things...and make them come together again. To make them complete.

I wish I had the rest of my house in the order the playroom is in. But aside from the newly established sleeping space my house, literally and figuratively, is not in order.

I think Miss M and I are in similar spaces. And with the decision (not mine) to cancel the house cleaners I need to figure out fast how to keep it all together. But the cleaners had become a crutch and my intention to focus on clearing out the stuff and clutter between visits never materialized. I was able to limp along further with the thought that at least the bathroom was clean. Of course, it's been a month now since the sheets were changed...

Lists, systems, ways of functioning are meaningless when the hurdle I have to jump is my own inability to take action. If I can not do everything, and do it perfectly, I can not seem to begin at all. And I can not. Can. Not. Just do "one" extra item a day. It seems as though my days are hard enough to get through with the basics done. Tonight the decision was to bathe the children and not make dinner. Tomorrow we have appointments all day and somehow, I have to finish making the house guest worthy.

Of course, simply writing this is not helping. But maybe thinking what I need to do through is the first step in getting it done.

If You Want to Give Me a Present

I miss my point and shoot camera. These girls have been far too cute for words lately and I am missing all the pictures.

Like right now Stella and Elise are wearing these too cute little skirt outfits...the same thing in different colors...and rolling on the playroom floor.

I could get John's camera. But I'd really like my own. So, if you're out shopping please think of me.

Electronic Leashes

I think if I had just not answered the phone this afternoon, the 5 feet to the car would have been easily traveled. As it went, Maia did an escape artist trick and left me in the dust with one baby in the stroller and one sleeping on my chest. Not my finest moment.

Thank goodness for patient friends with better behaved children--and that the spanking threat still works.

Next up, obdience training for both parent and child.

Having a Break

Today has been a day that I wish I could just check out of. I don't want to be responsible for anything, really. I just want to eat cookies and watch TV. Maybe I can make that happen.

Then sleep and we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Two simple Pleasures:

Watching all the girls play in one room. Even if they're not playing together they are occupying the same space contentedly. It's bliss to watch Maia create her elaborate games, Elise sit and mouth and block and Stella desperately try to get mobile.

Gorging myself on fresh baked cookies. I can feel the pants getting uncomfortable but I'll worry about that tomorrow. For now, another chocolate cherry oatmeal cookie. Still warm.

Time for a...Twin?

(This is an article I wrote for my multiple group...but I realized I never told the story here! This is how we first met Stella and Elise)

March 17, 2008. I showed up on my friends doorstep an ultrasound in hand. She answered the door expectantly and I heard my 21 month old daughter playing in the background. Wordlessly I held up the grainy black and white image from my OB. It took a moment for the image to make an impression and when she realized what she was seeing she laughed delightedly “Twins!” Wordlessly I nodded and entered the house to collect both my daughter and my thoughts.

John and I have were married in September of 2004. He’s a Silicon Valley geek and I’m a foodie turned cook turned pastry semi-pro. We love to have adventures together, big and small. We’ve been up and down the West Coast, have taken a small plane trip (with John at the controls) cross country, and have even pegged the speedometer (of a Jetta wagon) on the Autobahn. We always knew we wanted to have children and often talked about the fun and amazing trips we would then take as a family.

When discussing how big our family would eventually grow to we had a running joke. I come from a family of six, I have three siblings and I love larger families. John has one sister and thought two was the perfect amount of children. I loved to joke about having nine kids...or more! And he would counter that he was “good for two, so you better have twins the second time.” We’d both laugh at that, there was no reason to suspect that we’d get that lucky. No twins in either of our immeadiate families, so that meant no twins for us.

We were delighted and blessed to welcome our first daughter, Maia Evelyn, into the fold in June of 2006. A year and half later we decided our lives weren’t complicated enough so we decided to try for a sibling...never suspecting we’d get more than we bargined for.

I found out I was expecting in Febuary last year. Because it was my second pregnancy and everything had been perfectly normal with the first, my OB didn’t need to see me until mid March. I made the appointment and began the wait to get the first glimpse of our new baby. The pregnancy felt different from the first one, right from the beginning. I had awful “all day sickness” and was extremely tired but nothing cued me into the biggest surprise of my life. As a family we even kept plans to go on a long weekend snow mobile trip, and there I was eight weeks pregnant cruising (and crashing...but that’s an entirely different story) along on a snow mobile for the very first time.

St. Patrick’s Day began fairly normally. I had my first appointment with my OB at 2 PM. John was on board to meet me there, although he was swamped at work testing the latest product from his company. I don’t usually like afternoon appointments, but this was the first I could get and I was anxious to make sure the baby was doing well, especially after my snowy run in with a tree. I dropped Maia off with a friend so she could play and I could go through the appointment unencumbered. I arrived on time, and sure enough the office was behind. Afternoons always lend themselves to emergencies and I understood this. As I settled in, John showed up to wait with me.

I was taken back to get the details over with...John would be able to come in while the ultrasound was being preformed. But the day was not going well and I ended up sitting there for 40 more minutes before my doctor could see me. We went over how I was doing and as she got ready to check the baby for gestational age and that all important heartbeat she asked where John was. “He should be in the waiting room” I replied. “I didn’t see him there...let me check again before we look at the baby.” Out she went to locate my errant husband. When she returned, John was not with her. Not knowing where he’d gone, but suspecting that something had come up at work during the long wait, I got ready to “meet” our latest for the first time without him.

I lay back and let my doctor do her thing. She was making notes and clicking away, when suddenly, it got very quiet. She turned the moniter around and said, “Take a look.” I looked, but what I saw was a split screen and some dark wiggles. “Is everything OK?” I asked, still worried that I had knocked the baby around on the snow mobile. “Yes,” she replied, “everything is fine, but you’re not looking at a broken moniter...you’re not seeing double...look again.” It finally dawned on me that I wasn’t seeing a split screen, I was seeing, “TWO babies?!” My doctor chuckled. “Yes. Two healthy heartbeats about twelve weeks along. You’re due October 10.” I couldn’t believe it and John wasn’t there to share the news! After I caught my breath and could sit up again I was handed my picture of Twin A and Twin B.

As I was leaving, my doctor looked over at me and remembering my husband and his intense fear of having twins from our first pregnancy (where all he wanted to know was that there was only one baby in there) said, ”Let John know he should stop making jokes, they have a funny way of coming true.”

Of course, the very first thing I did after leaving the office was to call John. And of course he was hard at work in a noisy lab running simulations. Our conversation consisted of me telling him we were having twins and him saying “What? I can’t talk about this now. Call you later” and hanging up the phone.

About four hours and a good conversation with my girlfriend later, John calls back. First words? “You were kidding about twins, right?” He thought I was messing with him because he left the appointment without notice. After I told him I had proof, he promised we’d have a good long talk that night...after he had a beer with the boys.

It didn’t take long to get over the shock and get excited about our new arrivals. We had to modify our original plans (good bye single stroller and hello double plus a carrier!) and are still figuring out how to fit all these lovely children into our home (good bye office/guest room and hello sleeping room/play room) and car (we are certified car-seats-for-non-van-vehicles experts now).

Our surprise babies arrived a bit earlier than our EDD and on September 8, Stella Madeline and Elise Carolyn arrived on the scene. Stella was able to come home with me right away but Elsie decided she just didn’t feel like breathing...so she was monitered for a week in the NICU. Today they are almost eight months old and absolutely perfect. We love our three girls and wouldn’t have it any other way.

We’re so glad to have found the Gemini Crickets group and be able to share in the advice, support, and wisdom of the many multiple families represented. We attended NEP meetings while still pregnant and it was wonderful to see that what we were experiencing could be managed. I always know that someone out there will have an answer for me and I hope I can offer some support to families after us still working through all the fun and excitement of raising more than one baby at a time.

As for adventures? We’ve already taken all the girls on their first road trip...a quick jaunt to San Diego over New Years and have plans for a couple more this summer. An extra “baby on board” isn’t going to slow us down.

Home (alone)

I am of course not alone. I have all my daughters with me, but I am reminded of John's absence in small ways. The coffee pot wasn't rinsed out last night. For some reason I never remember to rinse the coffee pot and John just does it as a matter of course when he gets home from work. (I am sure this bothers him to no end)

This morning the coffee pot wasn't rinsed out because John isn't home. Also, the coffee I make is never as good as the coffee he makes. It's too strong this morning.

I missed the garbage truck. I hope we can make it until next week. Sorry hon, I should have taken it out last night.

But, I have an organization project planned and since I'm not really concerned with a big mess in the kitchen I might just get it done by Sunday morning. That would be a very good thing.

Maia came into our room this morning where I had decided to feed the babies and snuggle just a bit longer. She climbed up into bed and said: "I miss daddy. He had to go bye-bye."

Yeah. I miss daddy too.

Lent

I so need to get to the library.

We gave up television for Lent and I intended to read more books, write more, and generally socialize with my husband at the end of our collective days. Instead I've been staying up too late wasting time via the Internet.

Next year I'm going to cut the electronic unbillical cord.

Ouch

So the beer I picked last night for our pitcher to share ended up being a 7% Belgium-style ale.

So delicious. Until the combined horror of way to little sleep and not enough food hit.

Now I must stumble through the rest of my day with a not so delicious hangover.

Ouch.

What John does for Fun

There is now a moose icon on Maia's website. Thanks to John. Because she loves the moose with the loose caboose and he in turn loves her.

And he calls me compulsive.

ps: will roll out the new sites as soon as the designs are all finished. we're working on content as well...

Here's to This Morning

I am wishing all my mornings were like this one...and wondering what I can do to make that happen. Right now the babies are *mostly* sleeping. Stella is fussing a bit, but she's ready to go down. Maia is fed, pottied and quietly playing in her room. Dinner is in the slow cooker. My coffee is still hot.

Life could only be more perfect if I didn't have a three foot tall pile of clean laundry that needs attention.

Other things of note: This morning Stella rolled from her belly to her back. It's not a fluke. She did it twice and she is so proud of herself. She looked up at me laughing at her with a face that said, "See Mom. I can do it myself. No tummy time for me!"

Elise is still on the fence about turning over, so more tummy time for her. But Elise is eating solid food! She had her whole portion (about a tablespoon and a half) of rice cereal and banana for breakfast this morning. Yay Elise! We'll get some meat on your bones.

Stella isn't sure about the whole solid thing...she is the bottle champ after all. But she's not completly opposed to the process so I'm sure she'll like it soon enough.

Maia is still having trouble with poop and the potty. It's the big bane of toddler hood right now. But hopefully she'll realize that the potty is a good place to go soon. Because that's I mess I don't relish.

She is loving her mini preschool and so am I. Maia is also developing an uncanny ablility to quote her favorite shows and books. A budding star of stage and screen perhaps? Or just a toddler developing her memory. Only time will tell.

That pile of laundry is calling and so is an angry babe. It's been pleasant this morning and I hope that continues. At least I've had my nice and warm coffee.

12.2 Down

I started Weight Watchers again and am happy to report that I feel great! It's been 5 weeks (four of using the program) and I'm down 12.2 pounds. Woo-hoo. It's a start and I hope to finish in about a year at a slim 145 or so. Wish me luck and happy pointing!

At the Mall...Friday Night

With the big day of love fast approaching I decided it was high time to update my *ahem* "special drawer". I haven't bought slinky silkies in about three years now...since I outfitted my trousseau. My only excuse is that I've pretty much been pregnant since then.

In any case, a quick trip to the slinky store was needed. Of course, this would be the busiest day to go...a Friday night and a rainy one to boot. What else is there to do but shop? But since the babies were asleep and dinner was eaten I took a leap of faith and leaped into the car.

I usually do this kind of shopping in the afternoon, when kids are in school and most other folks are working so I've never run into the crowd that was shopping along with me tonight. There was the mother and son team....and I should clarify that the son in question was about eight and obsessed with pulling fringed crotchless panties off the rack and sticking his hand through the crotch opening then asking his mom what the hole was for. Not the conversation I want to have with my son at eight...or really...anytime.

There were also, not one, but two, sets of families shopping. Mom, dad and daughters. One girl was about six and liked the satin teddies. The other was about nine and just wanted to hide as her mom was paging through a rack of nighties and asking her husband which he liked best.

That aside, I have to admit I was most put off by the late teen-aged boy who was there with his sister and her friends as the sister shopped for new bras. Her friends thought it was a blast to have her prance around him after each bra was tried on...looking for the one that gave her the most "lift". The only reason he might have made me the most uncomfortable was the fact that he a hovering by the changing area right by the sale rack I was rifling through and his glower kind of killed the flirty mood for me.

I guess the lesson learned is that I shouldn't have worried about bringing my chaos into the frilly store. Because no one else seems to mind. But I will say I had a much better time no making others think twice about their purchase of tear-away panties and indulging in a little fantasy of my own...the one that involves not pushing a stroller around the suburban mall on a Friday evening.

Two-Year-Old Simile

Maia and I are eating dinner together and I am drinking a sparkling water. Maia loves to watch to bubbles move from the bottom of the bottle to the top. Tonight she made this observation:

"The bubbles are going up the bottle, like when I go to the park and climb up the ladder."

I think she's ready for college.

Yes, You Are Maia

After putting up Maia's little hair into two high piggy tails this morning, she bounces off my lap and declares: "I'm a real princess now!"

Three Girls Four Months and Counting

The babies turned four months yesterday. It's kind of a big milestone...the completion of the "fourth trimester" and the transition from new born to infant. Case in point, I feel like I have 10 minutes to post as opposed to the last three months when I barley had time to go to the bathroom.

Stella and Elise are amazing. Good, good, babies and they are beginning to settle into a groove. Right now they are sitting in bouncy chairs batting at rattles and cooing. Maia is eating a breakfast of French toast, applesauce and fruit. I am having coffee and deciding how to spend the day. I wish every morning was as good as this one is right now.

The other amazing thing happening in our house right now is the relationship that is beginning to grow between the toddler and the babies. Maia has gone from indifference to jealousy to a kind of "big sister" role where she will play and talk to the babies now. She loves to tell them "good morning" and "hi baby" and "look at me! I'm smiling at you". Stella and Elise are responding with big toothless grins and laughs at Maia's antics. This is what I was imagining when we began to expand our little family. While we still have moments when Maia tells me to "put the baby down" and do something for her, I hope we can grow these good feelings to a life time of good times for our girls.

Speaking of a life time of good times...we took a little family vacation to San Diego over New Years and it was so wonderful I want to make it an annual trip. All the kids did great on the road both there and back and were good as gold there. I think we all got to decompress a bit and unwind and start the year off fresh. I loved it. And I am so happy we threw caution to the wind and took all of our kids out. We love to travel and the sooner we get the little ones in on the program, the better.

I hear some discontent from the bouncer so I must be off. I have made some minor resolutions this year including one to try to record more of what the girls do. John and I have some things in the works and we'll see if we can save some of the fleeting moments of baby and toddler hood for these girls...