Two Reasons Why...

...I love having a girl!

One...two...PIGTAILS!

Maia was in a compliant mood this morning so I got to do her hair. It doesn't happen often. I usually don't care to struggle with her getting-long-but-still-wispy hair.

But, OK, tell me that's not cute. I dare you.

BUSTED!

Aii-yah. I fell asleep on the couch last night and woke up after midnight. So now I have missed a day of NaBloPoMo-ing.

I plead lots of things: A baby day---always busy. Waiting to see if my drop-ship food order was going to arrive in time for me to pick it up. Nope. Running off to Oakland to help my sister with her car, then wait with my dad's wife while he was in surgery. Long wait. But he's just fine. Catch dinner with said sister. Go home. Put very tired baby to sleep and pass out on the couch.

I'm tired. Like I usually am. And my cold is back. Whaa-whaa whaaa.

So maybe if I post twice today, you'll forgive me. Maybe I'll post a picture of my incredible daughter (who just woke up) and you'll forget all about missing a day.

She is just that cute.

Worst Cake Ever

You know, there was a time not long ago I was paid to frost cakes. I think the key there was that I didn't make the frosting. Unless it was ganache. I make a mean ganache. And the cakes had things like nuts or chocolate sprinkles on the sides so I only had to get the tops real smooth.

Not tonight.

I haven't made a worse looking cake in, oh, years. Since before I discovered the joys of an offset spatula. I was embarrassed to bring it with me. What happened? A rush to get it done, is what happened. A perfect storm of a too-powerful mixer and a hurried, harried cook. Yup. I over beat it and it turned to mush. Like melted bubble gum. Stretchy and sticky and gloopy instead of a perfect cloud of soft and shiny buttercream. It was nightmarish.

I tried fixing it. It made it worse. I took it to class and smoothed icing over the top to kind of contain it. Not so pretty. I "tore" a big section of frosting off. Please don't laugh.

And now I see that my beautiful "decorator" icing is bleeding into my awful buttercream. Because the buttercream didn't set up. Eegads. I'm only sharing this so you *might* see an improvement next week.

So. lesson learned: for this class at least "decorator icing" (made with shortening not butter) is going to be the key. And don't try new recipes when in a rush. Bake and frost the day before. Really do.

Next week: Red Velvet Cupcakes with cute flowers and maybe a clown! Scary that...

And just in case you were wondering, the awful looking frosting tastes divine, and the pretty stuff isn't bad. It's made with organic palm-oil shortening. No trans fats. Smooth and creamy and solid...so maybe there is actual hope for next week.

30 Minutes to Midnight

Whew! Almost missed a day...couldn't let that happen now could we?

Our day:

Woke up. Hung out. Folded diapers (finally). Fed the Maia, napped the Maia. Planned a cake. Bought missing ingredients for said cake. Will frost and decorate cake tomorrow in class and post pictures. Read my book.

Decided to make the men stop staring at computer screens.

Jumped in the car and drove to San Francisco. Stopped at In'N'Out. Felt slightly guilty about feeding Maia fast food while she was strapped into her car seat. Now she is truly an American.

Went on walk about in Aquatic Park. Saw oil-covered birds. Felt bad about said birds. Checked out the ships at Hyde Pier. Loved the steam ferry.

Took Maia to the slightly inappropriate Buena Vista Cafe to celebrate 55 years of Irish Coffee. We were joined by a family with a six-year-old in tow who used the excuse "We're Irish!" to cover for the fact that they were essentially taking a child to a bar. As were we. As we have before. Hey, if they serve food, and they do, it's legal. Regardless of whether or not we buy any. Our response to them was "Hey, he's not the youngest here!" So they joined us and the adults had more Irish Coffees and the kids sipped milk.

As an aside...Maia has been to several places just this side of inappropriate. All over Europe. Smokey cafes while sleeping in the stroller. Momma having a beer with lunch. And Alaska. Juneau was the best. Saw dust. Fire retardant. Two rounds of beer. A story for another time.

Dinner after drinks. Tried a touristy place that turned out to be nice. Good food. Nice wine. Jazz trio that Maia enjoyed.

Ghirardelli square for ice cream sundae dessert.

Home again!

Lunch with my mom tomorrow. Seeing John off for the week. I'll be batchin' it. So that means I will be posting for sure...so John can keep up with the news.

Lazy Day...Scratchy Throat

Worst night of sleep in a long time. I hate the drippy nose just getting a cold feeling. I woke up just about every hour just feeling bad. Hot. Then cold. Then dry and scratchy. Plus, I had weirdly intense dreams. Not a good night for sleep.

So we took it easy today. Nice and easy. John's dad is in town for a visit so we began the day with a breakfast trip to The Cats for Southern Lovin'. Then the boys geeked out at the Apple store and I bought Christmas pj's for Maia (not at the Apple store...but down the street). So cute! And on sale!

The guys took me and the little Miss home where the girls had lunch and then napped for a couple of hours. The boys went off to do more boy stuff.

Got up. Puttered around. Built a block fortress for Maia to knock down. It's funny. When I was little, I HATED for my brother to come and knock my block towers down. I used to get so mad at him. Now I build towers for maximum knock-down-age. She makes this really funny "squee" when she knocks things down. Somehow, it's the best sound in the world.

Out for dinner. And now, as a group of adults, we are all sitting in the living room with a laptop apiece not speaking. Very valley.

John is going to update me to "Leopard" so I think I will have some tea for my scratchy throat and actually read a book. Maybe under the covers in some yummy pj's. Listen to the patter of rain and go to sleep early. A nice way to cap of a nice lazy day.

Well, That was Awkward

Well, as Tori Amos would say: "Caught a Light Sneeze"...I suppose that's one of the pitfalls of motherhood. Maia has a snotty nose, and I have the cold as well. Yuck. So that's my excuse for a short post.

Let me share a story of my day with you:

I went and did errands. That's what I do. You know, grocery store and the like. I stopped by Walgreen's Drugstore ti pick up some pregnancy tests. And No. I am not pregnant as my Aunt Flow made very clear with her arrival later on in my day. But, I am trying to get pregnant...and I get kind of obsessive about having pregnancy tests around. I was out. So I needed to get some. Because if my dear auntie hadn't shown up, well. This would have been the weekend to test.

I have Maia in hand. I pop in to the store and find my isle. Ever buy a pregnancy test? They have a kind of weird isle of "Sex" in every drugstore. You'll find "feminine products" next to the condoms and the "personal lubricant". If you're in a big drugstore it will be called the "Family Planning" isle.

I don't care. I just need the tests. I wander down the usually empty isle and there is a man standing right where I need to be. I'm not sure if he's buying condoms or personal lubricant...but he stops dead when he sees me.

We kind of pretend that the other doesn't exist. He just stands there as I decide if I need two tests or three. I decide on two...and take leave of the isle. As I turn to go, I hear my shopping companion begin to breathe again. And that was that.

A Shout-Out to my (blog) Friend

If you think simply putting a few lines on your blog every day this month is a challenge, like I do, then you really need to check out one of my favorite bloggers to see what "crazy" means. Or should I say "Manic"?

That's right Manic Mommy is interviewing various bloggers this month. Her questions are telling, thought provoking (if puke and boobs are what you like to think about), and very, very funny. Bonus YouTube videos included!

Leave a comment and you might be next. Just say "Domestic Valerie" sent me. ;)

Maia Moment of the Day: Snacks Please

Maia has been a grumpy girl for the past few days. Cranky, not eating, (well, that's kind of a matter of course with her) not wanting to play...generally not wanting to do much of anything except be a pill. A cute pill, but a pill none-the-less.

Today she woke up with a snotty nose. Great. Last winter we managed to squeak by with a minimum of illness. Looks like this year we're in for whatever bug happens by. This will be her second cold in as many months. I should be buying stock in McNeil-PPC, Inc. and Novartis.

Of course, not wanting to be upstaged any more than I have to be by Miss M, I have been feeling under the weather for the past couple of days as well. It's been cranky pants city around here. I feel for my poor husband.

I was beginning to fear that her cuteness was not going to be enough to get us through the rest of the week. But fear not! Cuteness prevails around here.

This evening as I was puttering around straightening the house and getting dinner started Maia decided she needed a snack. She knows where her snacks are kept...in the cabinet under our kitchen not-an-island island. She comes walking up to me holding a bag of Goldfish (whole grain, did you know they made those?? but the first ingredient is "smiles") and her snack trap. Because earlier in the day when she asked for crackers, that was what I had given her: goldfish in a snack trap. I guess she decided to give me all the tools to facilitate her snacking pleasure.

Word of the Day : Ball!

Maia is adding new words every day. This morning she woke up and her first word was "ball"...not her more usual "kitty" or "Hi". All day it was "Ball, ball, ball" broken only by the occasional "baby".

She has enough to talk about, we have four different balls to play with, and that only counts the larger ones.

I only wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Four Weeks...Three Cakes

A mommy friend of mine teaches the cake decorating classes at Michaels and my other mommy friend and I have decided to give it a whirl.

For all my "skills" behind the stove and in the oven, I am seriously lacking in the "make it pretty" department. I can not *gasp* make a frosting rose to save my life. I know many of you are rolling eyeballs in my general direction, but really, when you tell people you were in the pastry business they expect certain things. Like frosting roses.

Never mind the pie crust as light as air. The delicate scent of rosemary married in a perfect shortbread crusted lemon bar. The homemade cakes towering and covered in real sugared fruit. Cute cupcakes with cream cheese frosting (I can pipe...I'm not hopeless). No it's all about the frosting bling, in some circles.

Plus, I like pretty. What girl doesn't?

I also like excuses to buy new pastry equipment. And I might be able to pull off some pretty fantastic birthday cakes in the near future.

I'm pretty excited. I love piping bags. And my teacher friend is so much fun. It's been a long time since I took a class simply for pleasure.

I'll post pictures of my efforts here, so you can see what I'm up to. We do get to bake the cakes, so expect something more than a box from me. After all, as my husband would say, I have a reputation to uphold. ;) And he'll be eating the majority of my efforts.

Dibs!

I've found other bloggers I regularly read participating in this monster called National Blog Posting Month aka NaBloPoMo. The difference between others and myself, other than talent, is their ability to post real posts. I have resorted to two sentences and it's only November 4th.

Lord help us when I'm in Idaho for Thanksgiving. I'll have to deal with *shudder* DIAL UP INTERNET. I think that's the worst part about a visit to the northern climes for this girl from the heart of the Silly-Con Valley.

I thought I would take this "extra hour" (really, it's the same hour we lost in the spring) allotted to us by the political machinations of WWI and maybe write a complete story/thought. I'll try at least.

I mentioned that I had a busy day yesterday. In the morning John and I delivered a table and chairs to my sister Natalie, bought a safe from a "unique" woman, and had breakfast. I then went to a baby shower for a friend of mine who is due with her first in December. Then it was back to sister Natalie's apartment for her birthday party. This was the first she had hosted a birthday for herself in her own home...so it was a big deal. That also required a quick trip to buy a present because my original plans fell through.

It was also a "work" day for John. I was fast asleep when he was finally able to come to bed last night. It's been that kind of week(s) for him.

My immediate family was all in attendance last night, so we naturally fell into conversation about the holidays. Who is going to be where for what. My parents are divorced. My dad just remarried to the lovely woman he's been dating for about 5 years. She is also a divorcee with two almost grown children with other family obligations and, of course, my siblings all have different places to be on holidays. Holidays around here are carefully orchestrated productions. I have to keep a running tab years in advance of where my little family needs to be for Thanksgiving/Christmas. It's enough to make one a little less cheerful about the upcoming celebrations of friends and family. Bah-humbug, Holiday Season. I'm tired already, just working out the logistics.

I have, of course, already planned out where John, Maia and I need to be. We're in Idaho with his parents for Thanksgiving. We'll be home for Christmas and I am hosting a Christmas Day Open House. All my family and perhaps assorted friends can drop by anytime during that day and stay for a snack, a meal, and a movie. We'll be playing Christmas classics all day long. I'll have a nice spread. There will be presents under the tree. There will be joy all around. There will be no formal where-the-heck-will-everyone-sit dinner like the last time I tried to host Christmas. I'm looking forward to it.

So the festivities for this year have been sorted. Kind of. At least I know where I'll be.

I leave the party around 8:30 and my brother, Rick, offers to help Maia and I to the car. He says he'd like to speak to me about something. Alright. He has decided that he wants Halloween. Specifically, he wants Maia for Halloween. He wants that to be their special holiday. He loves Halloween and he was musing about how he missed Trick-or-Treating and dressing up. He would love to show Maia the ropes of going door to door and creating a special bond for the two of them over costumes and candy. I am blown away by this. A very sentimental gesture on the part of my usualy stoic brother. How could I resist? I'm loving dressing her up and parading her around...but I really like the handing out the candy part of the evening as well. I'm thinking about how cool a tradition it would be to go out with Uncle Rick on Halloween. I hope we do make it a tradition.

My hour is up. Maia is stirring in her bed and I'm thinking about making breakfast at home. Muffins sound good. I have to check the cupboard, though. Then it's shopping and dinner at dad's to look at honeymoon pictures and play with the wedding gifts. Family stuff. But now I have next Halloween to look forward to.

Have a good day, fellow NaBloPoMo'ers. Check you later.

Cheating!

OK...so today has been really busy and I am really tired. But to honor my month-long commitment I will post a cheatin' post.

Check out our fun Halloween! John has posted a video he edited for everyones pleasure and pictures of Maia in her Grandma made costume. I made the hair clips.

Here's the link:Halloween


We're hosting the video...have a cup of coffee while it downloads. And enjoy!

Recaps of the madness tomorrow!

Quick Tip #2:

Hair dye DOES NOT (especially after sitting all day) clean off easily from my crappy plastic counter tops. Comet (the real abrasive powder in a can) usually does the trick.

Quick Tip:

Hair dye cleans off of tile bathroom floors so much easier than it cleans off of linoleum floors. Just to let you know.

Maia Moment of the Day

It should be easy to blog for a month by picking an Official Maia Moment of the Day. Don't worry, I'll try and post about other things in my life. But you know, it's my life and Maia pretty much fills my day.

Today's moment is brought to you by the sign
"shoe".

Maia has become obsessed with shoes. It's no wonder. She's my daughter. At the height of my collection I owned close to 50 pairs. That may not sound like a lot of shoes to some of you, but I would forgo eating and any extra closet space for shoes. I love them. I still do, even if my collection has dwindled to under 20 pairs. I don't get out as much as I used to. But I digress.

So Maia fishes a single shoe from her basket of footwear and asks me to put it on for her. Asking consists of making the sign for "shoe" and thrusting her shoe and her foot in my direction. I oblige, but we have a conversation about how she only has one shoe, and she needs the other. I don't know where the other shoe is to be found. She has grabbed one from a pair we don't wear often, mostly because they're still a bit too big. She wanders off, happy in her lopsided shoeness. I figured she'd pull it off in a minute or two and that would be that.

A few minutes later Maia tracks me to the kitchen, matching shoe in hand and asks me to put that other one on her. I still don't know where she pulled it from. But she constantly amazes me at how much she understands.

If only "no" would begin to take on some meaning for her...

November Blog Fest

I am taking the challenge. I am committed to posting EVERY DAY this month. It's part of: http://nablopomo.ning.com/

Check it out, all you other random non-posters like me out there.

Blueberries

Some quick notes about Maia, because these things should be written down and I am tragicly bad at journaling. No baby book here. Well, maybe someday, but I still need to remember these things.

So:

Maia loves blueberries. They are, hands down, her favorite food. She started eating them around 14 months...right about the time I was getting seriously desperate over her lack of desire to eat any kind of solid food. At least on a semi-regular basis. She ate an entire pint over the course of two meals. I should have slowed her down, but hey. It was something she'd eat.

Over the next few days she consumed a few more pints. And developed a raging diaper rash. Ooops. We slowed the blueberry consumption way down after that. Now, she gets some with breakfast, maybe more with lunch or dinner. We know she's not feeling well if she won't eat blueberries. If she gets a fruit salad, she'll pick the blueberries out first. It's very cute.

She started walking backwards yesterday. Because she can.

Maia has about 15 signs she uses, and 7-9 that she uses on a regular basis. She started signing "please" when she wants something. Or she'll sign "more" if she wants to do something she's done before. Today I asked her if she wanted some blueberries. She signed "please" as her answer.

She doesn't use very many verbal words. I'm not worried. She communicates with us and babbles in sentence patterns. She doesn't like to try new things, unless she's fairly sure she can do it right. I think she'll begin talking a bit later than many of her peers, but she'll begin with sentences. And it will come all at once. Like most things she does.

Maia likes to read books. She'll sit with a book, babble the words and turn the page and babble some more. I need to get a video of her doing that.

Maia started riding her birthday rocking horse. She does it all herself..except for mounting up. She can dismount when she's done riding. That's another activity I need to record.

About two weeks ago she started shape sorting. She loves to sort her wooden blocks that have a clever sorted lid. She'll be occupied for long (for a toddler) stretches of time sorting. Yesterday we got out her sorting box and she was able to sort the more difficult shapes, the star and triangle, with ease.

She's had a runny nose for the past week. Ick. She hates to have have her snot "snortled" with the bulb nose clearer so I've been attacking her with tissues which she only tolerates. This morning she took the tissue and blew her own nose. Right at this moment, she came walking up with a baby wipe and blew her nose all on her own. Baby wipes don't tear like tissues do. That's a good thing.

Maia is beginning to "help" when we get dressed and undressed. She likes to pull her shirts over her head. I'm waiting for her to discover that she can do that particular trick all on her own. Shirtless in the winter. Just what we need.

A quick tooth report: She has her two back bottom molars and is working on the two back top molars. No bottom eye teeth yet, just a cute gap between the four front teeth and the molars. That's 10 in and working on 12. Woo-hoo!

Next up: Weaning from the Bottle. We'll begin that trick next week. Wish me luck and an minimum of hard to get to sleep nights.

Three Years Ago

Three years ago today I stood on a beach at 10:30 in the morning and was joined together with my favorite man for ever and always...we wrote out the "till death do us part". Why should death stop a good thing?

Two years ago today we gave each other the best present ever as we found out that we were going to be parents...and our lives would never be the same. In a very good way.

One year ago today we ate sushi in our living room while our precious three-month-old slept. We thought it couldn't get better than that.

Tonight we have a baby sitter and we'll dine on German food. A bottle of our honeymoon Riesling is chilled in the fridge. We'll toast or good luck and our love as each year it gets stronger.

Three years. Too short a span for the lifetime of memories we have already created.

Cheers to you, my love.

Cute Story of the Week

Cute Maia story: (because I really should be writing these down somewhere so I can tell them to her over and over someday) Feel free to skip as the "cute baby" levels increase...

I am watching my friend's 9 month old son two days a week now. We're all adjusting to new things and it's hard first thing in the morning. Mr. M of course doesn't like to be dropped off, but he's getting better. That said, Mr. M was crying in my lap and I needed to distract him. Maia was playing in the doorway of her room and I ask her to go get a book so that we can read to Mr. M.

She hesitates before looking at me and doing the sign for book (her first time doing this) and then walks to the bookshelf, runs her fingers across the spines of her books before choosing one, and then pulls it out. Instead of bringing it to me to read, she plops down and "reads" the book to herself in baby babble.

She then chooses another book out from her shelf and brings it over to Mr. M and I and reads the book to us. Again in baby babble.

I love this kid, I really, really do.

Spetember 25

3rd Anniversary Traditional Gift:

Leather(!)

"As a material, leather is durable, warm, strong, flexible, and has a sense of resiliency to it. These are qualities that help marriages continue to thrive."

Hmmm, I was going to write about how I didn't expect a gift this year, my dear John. But leather? I'm feeling tingly in my toes now. So many options...so little time until Tuesday. I didn't know about the leather when we picked the restaurant where we will be wiling the night away. But now it fits oh-so-well. You know, lederhosen and all.

Three years. Where does the time go?

Friday Night Cheese Party

It was one of those evenings only a mom (or a dad, maybe) could appreciate:

Sick baby girl. She picked up a nice little virus at the beginning of the week and has been weathering the ups and downs since. Fever spikes, appetite lows and loads of snuggling on the couch with mommy. Yesterday she didn't eat much at all. I've been tempting her with food favorites but she just wants her bottle and yesterday she didn't even want that. At bed time she takes her bottle--the whole thing--and then proceeds to throw it back up. All over herself. All over the floor. All over the Mom.

It looks likes cheese curds. Ever seen the cheese making process? Cheese begins life as milk that is heated and curdled and then separated from the watery milk in little chunks. That was all over the floor.

I strip Maia down. I strip myself down. As I head for the bathroom to draw a bath for the baby, I notice that the Harvey cat has chosen this very moment to express his disappointment in the state of his litter box by pooping on the floor. Great. So I'm in underwear staring at curds and whey vomit on one floor and cat poop on another. What's a girl to do?

Call John and ask him to bring home a pizza. That's what.

I did manage to get everything cleaned up. I attacked the floor of Maia's room after scooping the poop and while the bath was running. After soaking the carpet with cleaner, I dropped the baby in the tub and cleaned the cat box out. Soaped the kid, got her out and into clean pj's then scrubbed the carpet again.

All this in my underwear.

I did manage to have my pj's on by the time John got home with dinner. I earned my beer last night.

Check

Alright, we'll be counting today as the first day of Walking. Maia has taken several small groups of steps all over...at the park and at home. She's not taken more than 4-5 and she'll usually stumble through 2-3 before either grabbing something or sitting down. But, hey. It has begun.

And it is very, very cute.

Radio Silence

Sorry for the interruption in service...I will resume regularly scheduled blogging soon.

~dv

Friday Night

On the recommendation of dooce I went ahead a read through Spinner's 25 Most Exquisitely Sad Songs.

Happy weekend me.

So now here I am sitting and drinking a double whiskey alone running through our song collection and playing the saddest songs I can find. Some from the top 25. Johnny Cash covering Nine Inch Nails "Hurt" twice.

That's when I broke out the whiskey.

Meh

I go through phases these days and lately its been a down swing. When I hit a down swing its all I can do to actually get up and get through my day...let alone write about it.

I'm not sure where this is coming from. Usually it's stress of hormones or something concrete I can pin down and deal with then get over. This time its lasting. I haven't felt good in weeks. No energy. No desire to do anything. I get tired half way through the day and then I'm done. For good. Housework comes and goes in phases. I spent several days working on pieces of our bedroom and nothing else. Now I'm desperately trying to get the kitchen clean but it all seems so futile. I cook, I clean, I clean, I cook. It's a never ending circle of despair.

Don't even get going on the diet. That will put me over the edge and in to full blown tear phase.

The school project has been grinding me down. That's almost over, thank god. My adviser was so right to suggest I do this one class on its own after coming back from having a baby. It's killing me. Two more weeks. That's it. Two more weeks.

Maia was sick sick sick last week. Poor baby. Fever for four days, crankiness, then even worse a lethargy that left her folded over with her head on the floor, eyes open and staring, instead of playing with the toys in front of her. That's when I called the doctor for a second time and brought her in. The verdict? UTI. That's urinary tract infection for those lucky enough to never have had those words uttered at them. Of course there are complications to a bladder infection at this age. Physical immaturity of the urinary tract can lead to a "back flow" from the bladder to the kidneys and in case of infection, this can lead to kidney damage. Oy. So more tests for Maia. And a regular dose of antibiotics to maintain an infection-free urinary tract once the current infection has been thoroughly killed.

All this for a baby whose parents decry the over use of antibiotics and swore to take a "watch and see" approach with illness. See how things change in the thick of it. Of course, I understand that *possible* sensitivity to certain antibiotics in the future is a very small price to pay to avoid kidney damage. I'm simply pointing out the irony here.

I blame the formula for this infection. Another item on the long list of shot down "nevers".

I hope to feel pithy at some point again in the near future.

For the present, I don't expect much.

POST!

Posting for the sake of posting. Meh. Time for bed.

Murphy's Law

There is a cloth diaper clause to Murphy's Law that states:

When the diaper pail has been emptied out and rinsed clean the very next diaper will be a poopy one. Just so the poo (residue, we flush the majority) sits for the longest time it can.

It's one thing that I hadn't considered in my diaper spreadsheet.

Bad Ideas and Monster Days

That last 3x non-fat latte was a bad idea. Seemed good at the time, but now I'm tired and still buzzing slightly from caffeine. I already don't sleep well alone. Coffee isn't going to help that cause.

Speaking of not sleeping...little M was quite the monster today. She didn't nap. Not one bit. Well, maybe a bitty bit. But not nearly enough. That's why I needed the coffee. To keep up wit her.

Maia has discovered the ability to pull herself up to standing in her crib. She has also discovered that her mattress bounces when one stand up on it. She has decided that sleep is for the weak and she would much rather be a crazy standing baby than a cheerful rested one. The rested one has to LAY DOWN for a while. The crazy baby gets to STAND UP and BOUNCE. Tough decision.

And it won't help one bit to drop her mattress the rest of the way down. She holds on to the side rail slats. She doesn't need the top bar at all. One friend has suggested plexi-glass and after a few more days like this I might just consider it.

It wasn't as though I didn't try to get her to nap. She just knows when she hits the bed. At morning nap time we read a story and had a bottle and she was blissfully drowsy when I put her down to sleep. As soon as her body hit the mattress, she began to roll about and sit up. I lay her down and turned on the mobile. Roll and sit. I lay her down again and left the room. 15 minutes later I go in again to lay her down. She sits up in bed, gets into a corner, leans into it and cries. After an hour of struggling with her, I give up and we got to the park. We play. We have lunch. It's nap time. She's full and I figure she's got to be tired by now.

She falls asleep in the car. I transfer her to her bed, still sleeping. Head on mattress...awake. Roll, sit, pull up and bounce. I make another bottle. We rock. She dozes off. I put her down. I leave the room and all is quiet. 5 minutes later I hear the distinctive squeek squeal of Miss bouncing. I head into the room and sure enough, there she is laughing away. I give up quickly this time.

Fortunatly, a friend calls and we decided to do coffee. We're both dragging. I think, "Perfect, Maia can sleep in the stroller". I changer her up, bundle her into the stroller and away we go. She refuses to sleep. Coffee is nice. We walk around downtown. We visit the bookstore. Maia pulls up on anything and everything she can. Still no sign of sleep. We walk home. Not an eye shut.

I need to attend a neighborhood meeting. I am so very worried about the impending Maia meltdown, I begin to sweat. We go off, bottle in hand, toys in place and a blanket for the grass. Maia does very well up to the very end when she just can't take it anymore. I bounce her to sleep on my shoulder. I pick up her toys. I gather the information from the meeting. Maia stays asleep through all this and the walk home. She stays asleep as I greet my brother. She stays asleep as I take off her hat, unsnap her jacket, and pull it off of her. She stays asleep until her head hits the mattress. Sigh.

Back to square one. PJ's on. Another bottle. Lots of rocking and snuggling. She's out. Until the crib. I leave her, exausted and trying to pull up on her bed. This is one determined baby. She finally passes out from sheer exhaustion after about 3 minutes of *light* fussing.

That was around 9 PM. I hope she stays down until 11 AM. Even if it means missing my group meeting. (darn)

Have I mentioned my lack of showering? No daddy break and no nap for Maia equals one stinky mama. Another bad idea from our monster day.

Best Line of the Day

From the "TSA: Traveling With Children" section of their website:

NEVER leave babies in an infant carrier while it goes through the X-ray machine.

Gee, thanks for the reminder. And what are the security screening guards there for, if not to remind you to not irradiate your children?

Tolstoy Revisited

Monday I gave Maia a bath. We do that on occasion. She loves the big tub and loves to splash. It's also a nice way to kill some time before bed when I'd rather play with her than cook dinner or pick up toys.

We like bubbles. Who doesn't? I usually squeeze in a good portion of Honeysuckle baby wash and let the bubbles pile up. This evening, the bubbles were especially high and piled at the tap end of the tub. I put Maia in the middle and she immedately headed for the tower of bubbles. She went in for a combined bubble smack tub splash and ended up with bubbles all over her face.

The results were rather amusing. She looked just like this:




I really expected her to start dictating "War and Peace" revisions at me. Her eyes were all big and serious, her hair sparse and wild. Dense, dripping, white bubbles forming her beard.

Come to think of it, my Mom has always claimed some Russian blood on her father's side of the family...

*sigh*

Sometimes I'd rather be fat than diet. Make that "most times"...

Downward-Facing Baby

I took a yoga class (for credit) last Spring while pregnant. My teacher was a very old guard hippie yoga guy who discovered yoga while attending SF state during the 60's. The highlight of one of his speeches was how yoga allowed him to make it through a three-month prison sentence.

He had his own yoga instruction book. It included several picture of his (then) very young daughter in various "natural" yoga poses. He said that babies and small children instinctivly preformed yoga because of the ways it helps strengthen the body.

OK. I get it. It was kind of out there for me, but the pictures were cute and he was a very good instructor.

Today Maia perfected Downward Facing Dog.

Just like the picture. She had her feet planted, head down, arms out-stretched, butt up and out. Perfect. She can't crawl, but darn if she can't do yoga.

What is it About Costco?

Really. Another Costco parking lot story:

We went a bit nuts at Costco Sunday and made a large, impulsive purchase. We bought a bike trailer for Miss M. We've been debating the merits of bike seats vs. trailers for a while now and had decided to go with a front-attaching bike seat when we came across the trailer again.

So we went trailer. It fits two kids (planning for the future), will allow Miss M to sleep if needs be on a longer ride which also gives us more flexiblity in our travels--and more time which is good if you're a slow biker mommy like myself. If John hauls it, it might actually slow him down to my pace while keeping his heart rate up. Good things all around. The trailer also has storage room in the back, great for trips to the farmers market, or grocery store. Best of all, we bought the style that converts to a stroller so we have a way to roll her about once we get to our destination.

It just seemed like what we really needed. Plus, it's Costco with their very liberal return policy if it doesn't work.

Back at the car, we realized just how big the dang thing is in the box. The BOB stroller was already in residence in the trunk of the Jetta. Plus we had our normal load of groceries and a looming trip to TJ's for more. Oh. And a suitcase. John is headed for Germany and needed one...that's another story.

So my super engineer husband is working hard to fit everything in the car. The trailer mostly fits in the trunk and the groceries fit around it. The BOB has the wheels popped off it and fits in the back seat. John is busy securing the trunk lid with a length of rope when the owner of the car next to us shows up with her two enormus carts of Costco goodies.

The car next to us is an extended Suburban. A monster of an SUV. That had been parked too close to us on the drivers side. That John had been bumping (with his body) in hopes of setting off an alarm system previous to the owner coming back. So the women in the Suburban unload groceries while John is tying down the lid of our nice little sedan. As the driver is getting ready to climb into her monster car she turns to me, looks at Maia and says: "One more and you'll be driving the Suburban too. That's just the way it is."

Ummm. OK. No.

I'm not sure I really understood what she meant. Yeah, our car was full, but it's not a normal occurance. If she didn't want the monster car, there are options out there that provide room, safety and fuel economy. And just because I live in the Valley and have a child doesn't mean I MUST want or need an SUV.

Please.

I'm waiting on my station wagon, thank you very much. Diesel. 40+ miles to the gallon. And I'll be able to out race that Suburban any day of the week.

Musing on Marriage

I've been thinking about marriage and the changes children bring to it. I've been thinking about the choices I've made and where they have lead me. I've been thinking about my baby and how she has changed me and my relationship with John and how we've become stronger--because if we didn't I could see how we could have been splintered apart. If you're not secure in your partnership before the baby arrives, he/she will only serve to drive the wedge deeper.

I'm sure that in some cases a baby makes a couple step up to the plate, so to speak, (I have a shining example of that in a friend of mine) but a baby is not a tool to test the resolve of your relationship with.

One of the greatest pieces of advise my mom gave me was this: "Marriage doesn't change a relationship, but children do". I am glad that I heeded it and waited until this point in my life to have children.

I met John at 25--well, just shy of my 25th birthday. I was careening out of control. I had the rock and roll lifestyle, sans heroin. I didn't have a clue what I wanted from life, I had subjugated myself into the image I thought others around me wanted. I lived through people, not for people. I was unbelievably selfish as I think most 20-25 year olds are. I was getting set to move out of town, across the state on a whim. Just because I could and I didn't want to be where I was anymore. I didn't want to be myself anymore.

Did I mention that I'd also just left an incredibly failed marriage? One with no children and of that I am grateful because we would have been awful parents at that time in our collective life.

Not an auspicious beginning for John and I. But, as Liz Phair sang in her earthy-ethereal way:

...But something about just being with you
Slapped me right in the face, nearly broke me in two
It's a mark I've taken heart
And I know I will carry it with me for a long, long time...

What came next was four years of dating and soul-searching and coming to terms with who we were as a couple. For me, it was coming to terms with who I was and what I needed on my own in order to be able to give of myself completely. If you don't know yourself, you can not know or love deeply another. It just doesn't work. You become an empty shell in that relationship and eventually break.

I have to give credit to my sometimes long-suffering then boyfriend. He encouraged in me in ways no one had ever before. Do you know it was he who suggested I look into the restaurant business which lead to cooking school? He helped me develop a passion and a career out of something I didn't think I was good enough to do. He helped by encouraging, by cajoling, by challenging me to seek more from myself than I thought was there.

I knew he was the kind of man who would make a great dad.

We didn't wait long after being married to start our family, but at 29 (just shy of my 30th birthday) it was time. It was the right time. I had grown in ways that surprised me during the five years from when I met him to when we started our family. He had grown in ways that surprised him. We had all the trappings of being "adult": a home of our own, no debt save for the home, and good jobs (at least his). More than that, we had a desire to share ourselves in a deeper way. The prospect of "family" frightened us, more than once we re-thought our decision, but we knew we were--if not ready--then willing to make the commitment.

Maia has changed us in so many ways. We drove to San Francisco this weekend and while she slept in the back we took the winding back road to give her the opportunity to sleep more and chatted about how much she has changed us. Ten months into this parent thing and already we don't quite remember what it was like before Maia. She consumes us and at the same time brings a meaning to our lives that was missing. We feel part of something larger than our own small perception of things. We are enriched even as she demands every last moment from us.

She has also brought chaos into our once somewhat ordered lives. This is the struggle. It is so easy to let yourself fall into the "baby trap". She needs so much from me, it would be easy to ignore John and what he needs. It is easy to ignore myself and my needs. To balance being a parent, a mommy especially, and a partner is no small task. This is the splinter, the wedge, the shattering, an infant can cause on an unstable marriage. To forget about your partner and your relationship is to lose what makes you strong enough to be a parent in the first place.

Of course, Maia comes first these days. But we're working on making sure our relationship is a close second. It energizes us to spend time with each other, as grownups, as friends, as lovers still. I don't want to lose the part of me that needs my husband as more than just the "baby maker". He is still my world and that is precious. Maia didn't make him that way to me, either. She simply cemented our foundation and gave us another way to show the other how much we care.

She has changed us. We are blessed by her because we were blessed by having found each other first. She has changed us because now we have to work at what used to come easily. We have to be creative in the ways we grow our relationship. She has amplified all that is, at times, rough in our relationship but has also amplified all that works so very well for us.

I came to this place in a roundabout way. But the destination is one I would not change for the world.

Harvey

I love cats who play fetch. I've never had one of my own before.

Kittens and Babies

I meant to fold Maia's diapers this afternoon. I had the basket all ready and took it into her room. I put her on the floor and turned around to open the window and let some of the wonderful fresh spring breeze in. In that moment Harvey kitty came bounding in and jumped into the warm laundry. Maia squealed and began to take diapers and wipes out of the basket. Harvey then got in on the act and tossed out a couple of wipes using teeth and paws to his best advantage. Maia laughed at that an began putting back the items Harvey dropped out.

They then switched to Maia poking her little fingers into the basket (through the holes in the fake "weave") and Harvey swatting at them, then Harvey sticking his paw out of the basket (again, through the holes) and Maia touching it. Back and forth, with much enjoyment on both sides of the basket.

Who am I to stop the fun of small creatures? So the diapers remain unfolded.

Of All the Things I Should Be Doing...

blogging is not one of them.

I will let you know that the jinxing time has been lifted and the exciting news in our household: Maia is going to spend her first birthday in Zurich, Switzerland.

Before that we'll get to tour Paris and then spend a week in Geneva.

Good fortune is blessing us with a trip that piggy-backs on a work conference. Which means that one airfare is paid for and the really nice hotel in Geneva is covered as well.

I'm all smiles. Now to find places to sleep in Pairs and Zurich!

Oh and house cleaning because we're hosting TWO dinners this weekend.

Something Good is Gonna Happen

Plans are afoot! Action is being taken! Credit card numbers are being given at this very moment! But I don't want to jinx anything, so I'll get with the details when all the ducks are lined up.

Bad Parenting Skills

I just put on a video for Maia (at least it's a "Baby Signs" video so I can pretend she's learning from watching) so I could get some work done. She's entranced. I'm posting. Now to actual work...

Update:

15 minutes into the video and she'd lost interest...but I was able to get one school project (almost) done. She's happy banging on the coffee table with her drum stick from the floor.

Fate

I'm not sure what's been in the air this week, but nothing has been good. The week started poorly and never fully recovered. Despite what could have been several very nice days, I've been in a funk. John has been in a funk. Maia, well, she's Maia and while not in a funk, when we are it's not so much fun to attend to her needs.

Today could have been more of the same...but it wasn't.

Started off with:

Daylight savings time switch early. Needless loss of a perfectly good hour of sleep.

Rushing to get John to the airport for his 9:30 AM flight to Florida.

Said rushing caused me to back into the house while backing the car out of the driveway. With John watching me.

Watching my darling husband leave for the week, knowing I could have made a better send off for him, broke my heart.

Mis-judging the time I needed to be at a Mommy get-together to make baby food. Arriving on time and with oodles of food to puree only to find a note on the door saying--"Time change messed up schedule. Party canceled" and nothing else.

Grumbling that I had no one to play with on this gorgeous day.

When I arrived home from the failed baby food party--great idea and I hope to host one more details if I do--I found that Auntie Ari-belle's date had canceled on her and she was now free for the day. I looked at her and asked, "Beach?" Her answer, "Yes!" So off we, slowly, went. Things needed to be arranged with her hockey tickets. Brother came through with a friend and tickets were settled. Maia was fed, changed and packed. The car was loaded. Water bottles were filled and off we went to Capitola.

It was warm. And clear. And so beautiful by the water. Everyone was out and about. I despaired over finding a decent parking space as we had left the stroller at home...after all...we were adventuring light! Coming around the corner by the prime beach side parking I got stuck behind a giant Suburban (wait...that's redundant isn't it?) waiting for a family to pack up the mini-van full of small children and take their parking space. Great. Everything else was full so I decided to go around and head up the street, when what to my wondering eyes did appear but the Best Parking Space Ever. Right in front of the beach entrance. One side was nothing but curb so I could pull in close and leave plenty of room for getting Maia in and out of the car. Shiny, as Ari-belle would say.

We were out the door and feeding the meter while the Suburban was still waiting on the mini-van. I almost felt sorry for getting such a KILLER SPACE ahead of "my turn". Oh well. There are advantages to having a smaller car in the parking lot wars.

Walking across the sand was a joy. The breeze came up gently, softly, off the ocean. The sand was dry, but still cool from the recent rains. The beach was busy but there was plenty of good real estate left for us. Ari-belle, commenting on the temperature of the sand, said "Could this be any more perfect?" I thought not.

The grown-ups didn't have a blanket. Oh well. We found a nice spot by some rocks and driftwood to set up camp. I spread out a blanket for Maia pulled out my small collection of sand toys and proceeded to relax and enjoy Maia's play. She loved it. She loved pulling the sand out of the buckets. She loved digging her hands in the damp sand. She loved finding the toys I would bury for her. At one point she began to bury her Auntie's leg. She was smiling and squealing as she piled sand on to her pant leg.

We decided to take her down to the water's edge to see how she like the cold kiss of Northern California Pacific Ocean. She did fine. I danced her over the water as waves broke at my feet. She really loved being held in water that came up over her feet so she could bounce and splash. She got so excited by the splashing. We ran her into the small broken waves and ran her back to the shore again. Maia burried her little feet in the wet sand and giggled. She looked out to sea and smiled.

Back at the base camp, Maia decided she needed to eat so I fed her and then we played for a while longer. The day was getting long and the breeze was picking up so we decided to go before Maia got bored and fussy. We still had 1/2 hour on the meter, but it seemed a small price to pay for such a lovely afternoon.

In the car, Ari-belle and I decided we needed a little snack before going home, so we headed into Santa Cruz for dinner. Something pulled us toward a certain parking spot, a little off the beaten path. I was going to feed the meter when I noticed it still had time on it. 1/2 and hour. Call it what you will, I call it fate. Nothing wasted.

A lovely afternoon turned into a lovely evening filled with fun conversation with my sister and playing with the worlds best baby. I'm thinking this week is looking up from the last....except for missing my husband. But, I have his homecoming to look forward to...

(love you sweets. see you friday.)

Post #100

It's all about the pebble in the shoe, isn't it?

Ah Crap

Long day and I'm tired. Started out with too little sleep and too little water and too much fun over the weekend.

Running late for Maia's appointment, well, we needed to run one errand before the doctor and were late for that. No, it didn't involve coffee. Too bad about that.

Her appointment went fine. She's a healthy little girl. 18#2oz and 27 1/2" tall. 45th percentile in weight and 50th in height. Perfect. Dr. Rose did seem somewhat concerned about her lack of interest in food. She'd like us to 'practice' eating every day. So I need to set Miss M up in her chair and put food in front of her. Let her play. Dr. Rose said crackers were fine, bits of cheese, soft fruits and such were also good. Hopefully Maia will gain interest as we do this. We'll see.

The good doctor did mention that a sensitive gag reflex could be the cause her aversion to solid foods. She might just need to grow a bit more to become comfortable with things in her mouth.

On to the next stop--a meeting with my professor for my group project in Technical Writing. The pre-meeting with my group was great but I really felt that the actual meeting kind of spiraled down hill. Sigh. Maia can only be so patient. She was in a talking mood and chirping in her little high-pitched voice. I felt awful. Here we are trying to be professional and I can't even take notes. We were meeting in a lounge for English students located in the faculty office building. Her voice was going out into the hall and in the past there have been noise complaints about the lounge. I shut the door...but that's not allowed either. I felt very uncomfortable and wished I had had some place to leave her for this one meeting. Plus, campus politics are in full swing around my instructor and I think a small faux pas was made by meeting in the English lounge with him to begin with.

Sigh.

In the future, we're going to book private rooms in the library--which is part of the public library system and therefore open to non-students like Maia--to avoid some of these ackward moments.

Note: I have one cup of coffee and by the time we wrapped everything up it was almost two o'clock.

Walk back to the car. Where is the car? Crap. Parked in a one hour spot and I have been towed. That's what I get for not looking at the signs carefully enough. They're serious downtown. In the few minutes I used to call the very unhelpful towing company I saw another car get towed. I think they just run out there all day to make their money. Sigh.

So. What to do. Got no car. Got a tired baby. Got no car seat to put her in even if I had another car. Crap. Called brother and thankfully caught him before he left to get lunch. Met him at John's work--where the old car seat was hanging out in John's car. Strapped Maia into the Camero--plus the BOB stroller--not bad for a non-family car and took off for the tow yard.

The tow yard was as stereotypical as it could get: German shepherd, big guy in a grubby t-shirt yelling form the back office, tattooed drivers grinning at me as I tried to get the car back. When asked how I would pay for this, I asked "What credit cards do you take?" Answer: None I had on me. Checks? Nope. Cash? Yes. The bank is three blocks away and I'd better get back by 5 PM before the release fee went up by another $80.

Half an hour and $175 later I had my car again. The yard didn't even have real change for me...the last dollar was given to me in two quarters and five dimes. Even though there is a sign that says "We do not accept loose change as payment" Who has at least $175 in loose change? Had this been a real problem before? Did many people try to pay with loose change? Whatever.

Expensive lesson learned. No more parking downtown for me. Now I feel like crap and just want the week to start over. And it's Monday. And I have a variation on this theme to do tomorrow. Oh well. Tomorrow morning, I think it will be light rail and a Starbuck's black tea latte kind of day.

My Lips are Numb

So here I am after a wonderful day of friends and food food food....thinking that I've had my limit of drink but craving another beer. And instead of taking advantage of my husband or going wild on the dance floor I'm blogging.

To the fridge I go! Newcastle or Jumping Cow here I come!

Before I Forget!

Maia is now really and truly nine months old. Still cute as a bug, we haven't worn the baby off of her quite yet.

She still doesn't eat. Or crawl. Or roll on to her stomach. But she laughs like no ones business and loves to turn the pages of her books when we read. She is much more aware of her self and is beginning to have some pretty strong opinions. She wants to do what she wants to do.

Her latest game is to throw herself backward from a sitting position. When we play it on the couch, I put a pillow behind her and she just laughs as she throws her little head back. She does it in the Exersaucer as well. She's so much fun.

Now, off to bed before she awakens and needs me. Sigh. No rest for the Internet addicted.

Of Course, There's Always MEAT

BBQ is in the works for tomorrow. Ribs are baked off, just waiting to be finished on the grill. Potato salad is in the fridge. Gotta do chickens and cornbread in the AM, then get the veggie platter ready. Not too many snacks. I tend to over do appies and then nobody wants to eat the food food we've made.

I also have a hankering to bake a Red Velvet cake. Found a recipe that doesn't seem like it'd be too dry...a problem with the Velvet cake. It's pretty but can be bland. We'll see if I can get it whipped up.

Staying up and goofing on the Internet is not helping my cause.

Good night, then!

Horn Tootin'

Congratulations!

Your excellent academic record has earned you recognition as a Dean's Scholar in the College of Humanities and the Arts.

All of the San Jose State University Dean's Scholars will be formally awarded at the 45th Annual Honors Convocation on Friday, April 27, 2007.

Yeah me. Two semesters of school and I get to be feted. Least you think I'm some kind of super cool school girl-- I'm not the President's Scholar...I don't have a 4.o.

Of course, this won't get me out of poopie diaper duty. It's good to have a reality check in place.

The Good Life

Yesterday on my afternoon radio fixation there were back-to-back calls from women who were feeling that being a stay-at-home-mom wasn't fulfilling and that they somehow were lost as individuals. While I can understand the sentiment, like on Tuesday when I became the Queen of Poo and that was the highlight of my day, I really can't agree that this job isn't fulfilling.

When I was working, I never heard the words that I heard from my husband last night from an employer: "You make me want to come home at night" meaning; I was a good thing to look forward to. No boss of mine, even my favorite ones whom I loved, thought of me as a reason to come to work and nor did I consider them a reason to work. When I was working, I never had someone I was training or responsible for look at me with the absolute adoration I see in my small daughter. When I was working I never felt as much satisfaction at the end of my day as I do now when I get to snuggle with Maia before she falls asleep then I get to snuggle with John as we chat and watch TV. I never felt so glad for another day, nor did I have as many reasons to get up and get going in the morning as I do now. When I was working, my opinions didn't really count as much as I was asked for them. When I working, I was a small part of a larger picture. Now I am a large part of an important endeavor; running a family and raising a child.

I have never done anything greater nor have I ever enjoyed a job more.

This morning I washed up the dishes from last night while Maia played in the living room. I heard some giggling and banging and decided to check it out. Harvey-cat had crawled into Maia's toy box and Maia was patting his tail and laughing. She started shaking a maraca and Harvey just looked on. It hit me then that this is the good life.

It can be boring at times. There are parts that feel isolating. At three am listening to a baby cry can make you question your decision to disrupt your life so much. Any job can be like this, but so few jobs offer the rewards that mothering has given me. I don't feel as though I've lost myself, on the contrary, I feel as though I have finally found myself. And it is good.

Sunday Night Dinner

The rain came in today. It started sometime in the wee early morning hours and continued off and on all day. We had planned on going to the Farmer's Market in the Cat's. It was to be the center of eating for the week, so we didn't let the wet deter us.

What did stop us was the grumpy sleepy baby. Maia has been a grumpy baby for days now. Her schedule is all off and she's just having a hard time and I don't really know why. So when she fell asleep in the car on the way over to the market, John volunteered to stay in the car with her and let her sleep.

I ran through the market in the drizzle, picked up our supplies and the most amazing oranges in the world: Pink Navels. Sweet, crisp, with a slight bite to it. Yum. I get tired of oranges right around this time of year and pink navels have solved that problem for me.

The rain continued and we didn't do much else today. I got restless, Maia remained bored and cranky. I decided to cook a big ol' Sunday night dinner to alleviate my boredom at least (house work and things that really need to get done, like laundry, don't count as boredom alleviators).

Oven fried chicken. Mashed potatoes. Gravy. Rainbow chard with garlic and bacon. Salad. Biscuits. Beer. Yes please. I had the oven going, the stove top poppin', bowls and utensils piling up in the sink and Maia asleep in her swing. I cooked for an hour and a half and managed to get things to the plate still hot. It was a veritable feast. If it weren't for the Lenten fast...which I admittedly stretched tonight...I would have made a cobbler for dessert. But that would have been going to far, for sure.

Nothing says "comfort food" like an old fashioned Sunday dinner.

In other news, I got a kick-butt new haircut on Saturday. Three hours of a cut and color. I went red red red with bright red chunky highlights. And short. I love my new funky red short hair.

Nothing says "here I come" like a new haircut. Watch out.

Smile

There is nothing more satisfying than making a baby laugh for five minutes straight, to the point of tears, by just being silly while you get her ready for bed.

Nothing like seeing your child smile that wide mouth, crinkle-eyed smile and know that she's doing it for you.

On an only slightly less satisfying topic, I'm down 2.5 lbs even after my weekend of eating out. Hopefully Lent will help me pick up the pace. And more walking. Lots more walking.

Fat Thursday

Yeah, Mardi Gras was Tuesday and I did my very best to celebrate in style. Fat Tuesday is the day set aside to clean out your cupboards before the month long Lent. Eat up the "fat" that you couldn't have during the fast. Pancakes are a traditional meal, but I wanted to have a more festive fat dinner...enter the Hanukkah (another holiday dedicated to fat) tradition of deep frying. I made beignets. French style. Pate a choux balls dropped in hot oil and fried until puffy and golden. I was making a dinner dish, so I made savory beignets with black pepper and rosemary. And whole wheat flour, but that's a given because it's the only flour in my house, much to my brother's chagrin.

Can I say oh. my. taste buds. They were wonderful. We had, on the side--because the beignets were the main attraction--blackened salmon, sweet balsamic vegetables and a huge green salad. Oh. Jalapeno mint jelly for the beignets. We had to. Dessert? Naaa...just more pastry.

Even though Lent began on Wednesday, John fried up the last of the batter for breakfast so we could enjoy beignets and coffee. Sprinkled with the merest whisper of powdered sugar they were divine. I will say that the French do many things right when it comes to food, and fried dough has to be at the top of the list.

Although I am not, nor have I ever been Catholic, I do on occasion keep a Lenten fast. I didn't last year because of pregnancy, but am this year. I think a certain amount of sacrifice is good for the soul. Because I am among the food-hedonists, sacrificing a foodie vice gives me time to reflect on just what it is that I eat. And what I should eat. And how certain foods affect me. In any case, I am, again, giving up the refined flour/sugar/empty carbs that seem to draw me in as soon as I come around them. Beer is an exception. I had over a year of sacrifice to teach me the meaning of beer to my life. But I will be giving up butter enriched foods as well...so no whole wheat pie crusts...that's cheating.

I've already broken Lent. But at least I thought about it. I'll do better. Starting now. Has anyone seen Chocolat? The perfect foodie-Lent movie.

What, if anything, are you doing for Lent? It doesn't have to be food related, it's about preparing for the sacrifice of Easter. Or, the sacrifice that leads to Easter, to be more precise. I'd like to know who else believes that a little restraint is good for the soul.

Massive Missive

So much for resolutions...this past extended weekend was nuts. John and I had house guests in and out beginning late Wednesday night and extending through Monday night. I could make one of those schedule graphs of the ins and outs but it would only make your head spin. It wasn't just one group coming and staying for that length of time...it was various configurations of very different guests ebbing and flowing through the days and nights.

So...no posting. Not much walking, but lots of activity.

To note: TEETH. Yes, there is a God and He has granted a small reprieve in the teething department. One sharp little pearl popped up Friday, the next was visible by Saturday. Maia doesn't like to show off her new possessions. The grandmas were kind of disappointed in the lack of visual confirmation. But mama is happy 'cause I get to make her crinkle-nose laugh with her tongue up and see those specks of hard-earned white.

John spent the weekend putting in our new dishwasher. It's a beaut. All stainless and shiny. It should have taken an afternoon, including putting in the new water filtration system, but it took two days of hard labor. Bless the previous owner of our house, Contractor Steve, as he decided to install new cabinets and the old dishwasher THEN redo the floors. He added an inch and a half of floor height. This translates to the old dishwasher being literally stuck in its hole. John had to take a saws-all and a circular saw and cut the dang thing in half to get it out. Oy. Our back yard looks very po' white trash at this moment with scattered mangled pieces of dishwasher strewn about. The plan is to chop it up into little bitty scraps and slowly get rid of it in our city garbage can. Instead of paying the high dump fees to get it gone in one fell swoop. I kind of like the sneaky way, you know? We got rid of about a ton of concrete rubble in this manner a couple of years back. Not to mention all the scrap from the summer roofing project.

I'll link to pictures of the destruction after he posts them.

You know your in a new, dare I say Adult, phase of life when these new appliance additions excite you. The last time I got this worked up in love with machinery was when we upgraded the clothes washer. The dishwasher is even better. Last night we got to run it for the first time and I wanted to see how well it actually worked. So, lasagna for dinner. Dinner guests. Six cheesy plates. One saucy cheesy lasagna pan. Oatmeal bowls from breakfast with dried on oatmeal starch. Serving spoons with only the merest splash of rinse water applied to them. All in the dishwasher. Soap. Run. Wait and see.

Opened it up this morning and was floored. Everything was spotless and shiny. The glass lasagna pan sparkled. The silverware gleamed. The oatmeal bowls shone. I swooned. You have to understand that the old washer was a complete POS. I had to scrub dishes before putting them in. With our hard water, we would have to pour in about a cup of vinegar in the middle of each cycle in order to avoid a nasty chalky film coating everything. For the past three weeks I’ve been so fed up, I’ve simply been washing dishes by hand. And let me share a little secret with you…I hate washing dishes. I used to cry when my mom made me do them. I avoid them like plague. I would rather do any other nasty, dirty, chore in the house to not do dishes. And yet, there I was at the end of my rope, washing dishes to avoid the even worse prospect of rewashing dishes.

Come to think of it, I’m kind of glad that crap-trap is in pieces all over the back lawn…and I might be an appliance geek. Lord help you if I begin on the Italian range John and I saw on Monday...rrrrraaaawwwwrrrr.

At this moment, yes, this very 10 PM moment, John is putting the new entertainment unit in place and re-hooking all the cables and boxes, with their little glowing lights, together. Sunday before last, Maia began reaching for one very important glowing light, the on off switch for the box that serves as our total entertainment (plus Internet) brain/hub. It just happens to be at a crawling-poke-my-finger-into-everything level. She missed, because she can’t actually crawl yet, but she then took a small header into the corner of the box. An hour later, we were at IKEA looking for a new TV stand with doors.

It’s nice. It’s dark which matches the new ceiling fans (Home Depot) and new side table (also from IKEA). But it doesn’t match the old coffee table. That table is slated to be replaced by an ottoman soon. So we’re updating the whole living room in order to baby safe it. Oh well. Had to happen sooner or later. If John’s not careful, I’m going to have the new couch delivered while he’s a work…

Harvey is doing well. We are still in love with him and at least two house guests threatened to take him home with them. That's two more than threatened to take Maia home. Hmmm.

We're trying to change Maia's schedule, and I'm trying to get more sleep so I'm going to wrap this up. Sorry for the poetic waxing on mechanical things and living arrangements...I'll find some keen insights on the human condition for next time.

Valentine's Revisited

Yesterday, being Valentine's Day, I went to Costco to buy a...water filtration system. Didn't see that one coming did ya? I had to note the kiss kiss heart day madness. It was about noon and men were streaming out by the dozens holding dozens and dozens of flowers. Mostly red roses, natch. Costco had a HUGE floral display at the front of the store so one could just grab and go. There was even a dedicated cash register for flowers only. I guess it's like this every year, but I've never had the occasion to witness it before.

Two people to make note of:

The woman behind me getting ready for what I can only assume to be a really hot date. She was purchasing a bottle of nice red wine and a bottle of Patron tequila. You go with yo bad self!

The man in the parking lot in front of the store with a big box of long stemmed roses...which he proceeded to angrily throw into the garbage can, then throw the box on the ground and stomp on it before stalking away.

Also of note: The man who came up after the roses were trashed and fished them out of the garbage. Happy Valentine's sweetie!

As for my Valentine and I? We did what we usually do. We stayed in. I made a nice romantic dinner. We had a cheese course to begin and several bite sized decadent desserts to finish. We drank a bottle of our honeymoon Riesling. We passed out on the couch from fatty-food coma. It was grand.

I hope yours was as lovely.

The Incredible Maia

The Scene:

A cute little baby girl all in pink and red hearts laying on the bed. In her hand, a tissue. She looks up at her adoring mama and with a primal, animal, guttural ggggrrrraaawwwlllll*, rips the tissue in half.

I couldn't stop laughing.

*I wish I had a way to post her "grawl"...it's just the funniest thing right now and she does it constantly.

It's Natural

Yesterday evening Maia was hanging out with me in her Hip Hammock as I picked up my monthly bulk/natural food order. She'd been pretty cranky all day--from interrupted sleep, no real naps and those darn teeth.

As I went to look over some papayas, a loud, long pppppppbbbbbtttttttttttt issued from the back end of my daughter. She then gave me the biggest smile I've seen in days.

Watch Out, It's Harvey Danger!

Business up front:

No post on Thursday because of massive homework. Yeah, time to get time management happening in my house. No walking either. Rained out.

Yesterday? Well...walked 4.43 mi in the rain to and from class. Did no walking with Maia. Again, rain. No post? Lazy, and I had my monthly waxing appointment that went kind of late then the baby needed to be coddled to bed and then I made an ambitious stir-fry dinner that, for once, didn't involve frozen vegetables. But it wasn't done until after 9 pm. Then we watched a movie. A not so good movie, but it was an actual movie. Then bed. After sleeping on the couch for a couple of hours. It was one of those nights.

*note* I like sleeping on the couch. It's comfortable for a few hours and different and I don't get to sleep there often. John kind of gets annoyed by this habit of mine, but I sleep on the couch when he's late on the computer or doing other stuff late at night that doesn't involve sleeping in the bed with me.

Anyway, the real news for this post are the events of today. Drum roll please...We Have a KITTEN!

We welcomed our newest little guy into the family this afternoon. He came to us with the name Cary Grant...but he's now known as Harvey. I love old fashioned names, especially on animals. We kind of name animals in random ways. John and I just toss names about until one sticks. This time it was Harvey. We were going over our grandfather's names. I hope my dad doesn't mind, it's his dad's name. On our side, my last boy was named after a band and so is Harvey. The Harvey Danger kitty...'cause boy's have that danger streak in them, you know?

He is as sweet as hoped for. Our rescue worker brought him over in a cat carrier and he didn't have such a good ride over. He seemed a touch out of it after he arrived, so we put him in the bathroom with his litter box to get acquainted with the most important feature in the house.

As soon as we let him out he began the hunt for love. He found it in John's lap for a moment. Then he found my hand and kept his little head butting into it. Then he discovered little Maia's outstretched hand...and Maia discovered his very fluffy tail. What could have been a bad meeting turned out just fine, Harvey kind of looked disgusted and as soon as he could be free he moved few feet out of her range. No hissing or scratching. I think we're off to a good start.

We'll have pictures posted soon at: http://foobert.com/gal/main.php

It was also the much fun pizza night over here. Brother and I made six pizzas for five people. We're all in starchy-fat comas now. Harvey is awake and well and running around...somewhere. Maia is asleep and I'm tired. Two late nights in a row do that to me...and it's looking like a third. Sigh. John and siblings cleaned the kitchen so at least that's done and there is talk of going to breakfast in the morning. Yum. And if there's no rain, we'll hit the farmer's market and get some super fresh veggies for next week's snacking pleasure.

I'm going to find that cat for a last pet session and head off to sleep. My house is full of siblings and my dear husband and our sweet little daughter and now our adorable fur ball. It's full of love and so is my heart right now.

I Haven't Been this Tired...

...since I was pregnant. Hmmm....is my body telling me something? I think not. Unless I like the less than 1% chance. If I am it's time for Vegas, baby.

What it is probably telling me is I need to drink more water and less beer. Whatever. I'm adjusting to my new food intake program well. I actually measure food and today I turned down eat-out food in favor of making myself lunch. Yeah me. I bought a new light cookbook; that makes two in the house so I should not run out of dinner ideas. Of course, tonight is out of my own little head: spicy salmon, twice baked sweet potatoes and salad. I think I'm hungry. I like waiting to eat with hubby but sometimes it gets hard to wait when he's so busy/late. Oh well. It's worth it to me. It's good family time, even if it's a bit late.

No walking today. That might cure my fatigue. Or if Maia would push those teeth out and my sleep wasn't so disturbed. Tonight I drugged her up and she still went down hard. Sigh. I just have to remember it bugs her more than it bugs us, poor thing, and she doesn't know what's going on. She just knows she hurts.

My lack of energy is affecting my house work plans. I haven't been keeping up at all. The dishes are done, but we're getting low on underwear. And I haven't shaken hands with the vacuum in a while. I'm getting together with mommy friends tomorrow and we were deciding where to meet...my place or hers. Yeah, I opted for the non-cleaning option. So we'll be traveling the five miles to avoid the vacuum for one more day.

***

Such is my day. At this point I've been fed, watered, well, beer'd, and Veronica Mars'd. Now I'm thinking I'm tired because I go to bed so late. Bottle washing duty calls then warm flannel sheets. Hopefully we'll all get some slumber tonight. Darn teeth withstanding.

Until tomorrow...I'll try to do something of interest or merit by then.

3.02 Miles

That's it.

Bed time.

Fluff Ball

OK, business first: No walking today. Sorry. We had Music Together in the morning...only the most fun you can have with a small child in one hour...then we had an important appointment, which is the topic of the post, and then nap time in the car and a shopping trip to Trader Joe's. $167.00 worth of a shopping trip (if you know TJ's, you know that's a high bill...rarely do I bust $100) with no nibbles and only some wine. Yeah. We were out of food.

Our appointment was to see if we would be adding a member to our happy family. As you may or may not know, we lost our dear fuzzballs James and Violet in an evil, violent way over the summer. No desire to rehash. It's been five months and while that seems like a short time to replace our guys, I have been itching for a kitten for the past month. One reason is Maia, she's getting ready to crawl, so I feel it's now or wait another year before introducing a pet. I want a cat to be able to know the lay of the land, so to speak, before being chased by an infant.

I found a rescue group to work with. The woman who runs it is wonderful. While there were some hoops that John found kind of over the top--like the adoption application--we're getting a cat that is going to suit our needs: boy, playful, friendly, not skittish, able to self entertain and willing to be a house cat.

I met Cary, for Cary Grant, and fell in love. He's got a square face, fluffy ears, a puffy tail and a sweet playful demeanor. He loves cat toys. He loves to play. And he loves to be loved. At one point he flopped down on his kitty bed and as I began to pet his head his purr motor kicked in to high gear. I was hooked.

Maia made her animal "huh huh huh" noise and really wanted his tail. We'll be "house training" two babies I fear. He's getting fixed today, including shots and a microchip and he gets to come home to us this weekend. I'm so excited! I need to run to the pet store and pick up food and kitty litter. He's going to be an indoor guy but that will be just fine. I'll need to keep up on my vacuuming but hey, I need to do that anyway.

I think this is a good thing. I've missed our guys, especially James. While a new cat is not a replacement, he will fill a hole in the house. I love having cats around. I think the rest of the family will too.

Quickie

While it's still Saturday I'll make a note:

Spent most of the evening writing time goofing with new blogger templates. I'm feeling old. I need a new look--for myself as well. I'm dying to cut my hair, I just have to figure out where to go, how much to spend and what, exactly, I want.

Sigh. If only switching up the hair was as easy as switching up the blog.

No walking today. Lots of family visits though. We had a middling to poor breakfast in Turlock. Cool diner, but the food tasted as old as the formica counter tops. Dinner at the always good Aqui. Plus three desserts. Not all for me! We shared around.

Maia is having a bad bad night, so I really should get some sleep. I have the awful suspicion I'll be getting up many times for comfort tonight. If those darn teeth would come through already. We'd all be happier campers.

Time Flies

I thought this evening's post was going to be all about my brilliant nine-month-old daughter. How she's getting ready to crawl, how she still doesn't have any teeth but I'm sure that four are going to pop in at once on the bottom, how she doesn't eat solids yet and that worries me but no one else so I suck it up and keep trying.

Yes, I have spent the past week thinking about Maia being nine months and what a milestone it is. I've been excitedly telling people about it today. Nine months. Wow. Where have the past three months gone?

Yeah. Maia is eight months old today. Somehow my brain farted away an entire month. Between two weeks ago and today, she has aged an extra month in my head.

Ooops.

So let me tell you about my brilliant eight-month-old daughter...

No teeth. None. Big gummy grin...she grins a lot and laughs so that her eyes crinkle up and her nose scrunches delightfully. She does this when she bounces. She loves to bounce. We took her on a completely unplanned trip to San Diego last month. While there we visited with John's uncle and aunt who "snow bird" there. We were with them in their super-deluxe RV for a little over an hour and except when I fed and changed her, Maia bounced on my knee the whole time. If you stop, she'll pump herself up and down until you begin to bounce her again. Literally hours of fun for her.

No teeth. I swear I see the tiny white heads of her four bottom teeth ready to burst into being at any moment. Four bottom teeth. I don't see any signs of top teeth, and man, if this is her teething pattern we're in trouble. Because she's been mouthy and cranky for two months now. It's getting old. For all of us, poor dear.

No teeth...and she hates having her mouth toyed with. This is the reason I think she just isn't into solids yet. She doesn't like having things pushed on her and she doesn't want you messing about with her mouth. I've had some luck with these mesh-bag-ring-pop-looking feeding tools, but they are messy messy messy. Especially with banana. Which she likes. Sort of.

She's been getting up on one knee lately and reaching for toys out of her grasp and becoming quite the wiggle worm. Again. I remember--because it was oh so long ago--when she first really wanted to sit up instead of just laying about...this new movement is like that only she's headed for crawling. So many moms are put off by crawling. I'm really looking forward to it. I think she'll have a grand ol' time scooting about. Really. Our house is so small, I'll always know where she is. No stairs to worry about. Just some cabinets to sort out and some TV/stereo/computer equipment to secure away from her and hey....she can crawl all she wants. As it is now, I sit on the floor and read or surf the 'net while she plays and she bounces in her Exersaucer when I need to pick up the kitchen or cook. I don't see crawling as interfering with the chi of our day.

Speaking of the chi of our day: 2.5 miles walked this morning to and from class. Plus a nice hour long, with a pause to check out the new hair salon, 2.4 mile nap walk. That's a total of almost 5 miles today. Woo-hoo.

Then we chatted and played with the neighbors for an hour. M has an adorable two-month-old boy...also M. She let Maia (another M...hmmmm) try out the Jumperoo. Miss Maia didn't want to get out. She rocked the Jumperoo, as expected. Nice visit, with plans to go for a walk on Tuesday, but all this was to the detriment of kitchen cleaning and diaper folding and Maia room cleaning. I've not really been doing housework this week. Naughty naughty wifey. Next week I'll have to be better. Plus, it's nine o'clock and I have no idea what to do for dinner. I'm thinking about skipping it altogether. Or just eating sausage.

Get your head out of the gutter. I'm here alone.

That's it for this evening. Tomorrow brings us breakfast in the Central Valley with Grandma NorDelle and Grandpa Jack. Then dinner with Grandpa Gene and Grandma Susan. At least tomorrow I don't have to worry about what I'm going to cook.

Is It Too Late?

I'm wondering if it's too late for a New Year's Resolution. It's February after all. I'm hoping the year is still new enough.

In any case, I am vowing to write every day. Even if it's just a "Hi" and how far I walked. My other goal is to walk every day. Today: 2.3 miles. Short walk downtown. Don't ask for the time, because snacks were had.

Weather: Gloomy.

Daughter: Fine. More on her tomorrow.

Homework is done....yes I am back in school. I'm taking technical writing because I am a glutton for punishment. Just to do things right, I jumped into the hardest class for my degree after my lovely (new mommy-ing) semester off. John takes Maia on Friday mornings so that I might go. It's a perfect set up and I'm lucky to have it.

I need to print and initial my memo before brother dear comes home and the printer becomes out of reach until noon tomorrow. So many things to say...and I am making the time to tell it. Later.

Happy Birthday Love!

We celebrated John's birthday this evening. It's kind of strange, as all of the friends we celebrate have children now...the day's of showing up early and drinking all day until dinner are over. Now it's eat between nap and bedtime! Our friends from over the hill came over with their one-year-old. They have a hard time traveling, the little one doesn't like to sit in the car seat. I was so glad that they were able to come over today. Our other friends form down the way were a bit late because of nap time...but all in all it was such a nice time.

We made smoked prime rib and garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus and spinach apple salad for dinner...with mushroom gravy. Yum. The prime rib was wonderful, no matter what my husband may say about its overdoneness. I had a blast making the sides plus rolls and my favorite (also hubby's) chocolate cake. Brandy, cherries and chocolate all come together in a most excelent combination of flavors.

It was really nice to have a family evening. No one minded a fussy baby. No one minded a fussy one year old. No one minded a fussy almost three year old. Our friends have all been there and we will be soon. It was nice to just kind of be and drink wine and eat food and play with babies and be friends. It has seemed that the last few times we've been together it's been BIG parties and it's nice to connect with small groups on occasion.

We also killed a bottle of Zin...a bottle of port...a bottle of Bouteille Call from = Bonny Doon Vineyard. Don't ask. It's simply wonderful. My head is slightly spinning from the before wine as well. Oh well. It's December. Time to get spun.

Maia is six months now and I Have to write about that. But for now, I must ignore spell check and have another glass of wine before I tackle cleaning the kitchen.

Month Five...and Still Counting

I have not written, directly, about the babe in a while so let me fix that right now. Miss M turned five months old two days ago and the last week has been amazing! She is becoming so physical. She has mastered rolling over from her stomach to her back...at least from right to left. She favors her right arm as her pushing arm and hasn't quite gotten the fact that she could push with her left arm and go over the other way. If she's blocked on the left side she still just gets kind of mad at the situation. But it is so cute to watch her flip over and smile as though she were saying: "See what I just did".

She is about to become a real sitter. Last Sunday John put her in the sitting position and let go and she stayed. This week she has just gotten stronger. She still mostly sits "froggy style" with her body hunched over, but she's begun to pull her torso up. She also reaches for her toys form this position and is so happy when she gets them. She's giggling and has even laughed out loud at Daddy a few times.

Being physical is more than her development. I remember, well, it was only a couple of months ago, when we were so careful with her. I was ginger and gentle with every touch and tried to limit rough play. She couldn't move very well...and I didn't like to mess with her. As she's grown my fear has subsided and now one of our favorite games involves tossing her up and down while singing The Grand Old Duke of York We tickle and dance around and jostle to William Tells Ride.... you know...ba-rump-bada-rump-bada-rump-rump-rump-rump...John will toss and swing her and she just loves it. She loves to move, to be moved, to be tickled and touched. She reaches up when she wants to be held and responds to touch in distinct ways. It is so different from even a month ago when it seemed that she just kind of put up with us. Now she knows we can be fun too.

Speaking of fun, we had a family adventure this afternoon. We took Maia up for her first ride in the Mooney. We were planning to fly over to Paso Robles in central California for lunch. It's about an hour flight with a solid destination and food! We are thinking of flying to Idaho for Christmas and need to make sure Maia can tolerate it before we embark on a three and a half hour trip.

Maia has ear gear. Ear protection is paramount when flying in a small plane. I found soft silicone earplugs, actually they're called "pillows" and cover the outer ear. They help with the pressure change as well as provide decibel buffering. She also has her small earmuffs...powder blue and oh-so-cute! I thought she was set. Well, the ear pillows have a learning curve as to how they go in best and the muffs didn't hold them in her tiny ears as I had hoped. She became uncomfortable and started to cry soon after take off. I went into stress mode trying to calm her down, the bottle wasn't helping and I couldn't pick her up and darn if that girl will still not take a pacifier. We decided to head back for the airport and not push it; after all, we want her to enjoy plane trips. As we were being directed back to the airport, Maia stopped crying and took her pacifier, alleviating some of the discomfort. We decided to toodle around for a bit...she was fine and beginning to nod off. We thought we'd head over to Half Moon Bay, a short fifteen-minute distance. While we didn't want to push our luck, we weren't ready to give up altogether. She fell asleep during the approach. Halleluiah.

Half Moon Bay was nice. We had lunch at the brewery that could have been better, but we'll just go somewhere else next time I think. We wandered by the fishing pier and had tea in an odd little cafe near the airport. Then it was time to head back home.

This time I got smart with the silicone ear pillows. I had purchased a neoprene headband designed to keep earplugs in while swimming. I really smoothed in the pillows, wrapped the headband across Maia's ears and placed the earmuffs over that. There is no such thing as too much protection for tiny ears. She seemed kind of frustrated with so much stuff on her head...but quickly settled down. I had a bottle ready to go for takeoff and she was asleep before we had leveled off. Good girl! John chose to take to scenic route home. We followed the coastline down to Santa Cruz then popped over the hills into the valley. Maia did wake up for the last part of the trip but was a happy camper...finishing her bottle and playing with her toys.

I think we're going to fly for Christmas. We're going to do a little more altitude flying with her in preparation for going over the Sierras but now that the ear/pressure kinks have been worked out I think we'll be fine. It's a great thing to be able to make these trips together. John and I love adventures and I really want our kids to be able to experience them too. And hopefully love them as well. Maia looks like she's off to a good start.