Count Down...

Alright!

Busy day, as usual for a Saturday. The fun news is that I am getting a haircut which means that I will be dyeing my hair tonight. Purple. I might even post pictures if it comes out as cute as I think it will. :)

From hair chopping to food shopping. We have finalized our Christmas Buffet menu and now cheese must be purchased. It's not a party without cheese.

Wish me luck on my missions of merry.

Some Ideas

Let me toss some ideas around here. It looks like the majority of my family will be here in the late morning...perfect brunch time, although my dad and Susan will have already eaten, it being a family tradition to have cinnamon rolls Christmas morning. (sorry for the long, awkward sentence) With that in mind, I took a peek through my Williams Sonoma Breakfast cookbook. It's a small book with nice brunch ideas and the recipes have always turned out well for me. Some dishes that sound good for our Christmas feast:

Either Chocolate Croissants (purchased frozen then proofed overnight and baked fresh...I don't have time to make my own. Really, I don't.) or a make-ahead Cranberry Chocolate Breakfast Cake. With Streusel!

Cinnamon Rolls. Whole wheat, although with the hard white winter wheat flour, you can hardly tell it's whole wheat. The secret is love.

For eggy-goodness we could have either a wild mushroom quiche with a cheesy pastry crust or a broccoli rabe strata. The small advantage the strata has over the quiche is that it can be layered the night before and left in the fridge over night, as it uses bread cubes as the base as opposed to pastry dough. The quiche pastry and filling could be made ahead and simply assembled and baked the next day, but we have a lot going on in the oven first thing--so maybe the strata would be better, time wise.

Banana bread? I have bananas in the freezer just waiting for the chance to become bread. I could even make it tomorrow and wrap it tight. It keeps up to a week!

And for later in the day food:

Cold cut platter with cheese and sandwich fixings.

Fresh baked rolls for above sandwiches.

Nummy cheese and bread and crackers. Maybe goat cheese fondue? I love me a pot of warm cheese!

Veggie tray and fruit tray. Mostly citrus. And apples and pears. Seasonal fruit. And nuts. This is California, after all, "the land of fruits and nuts". As my Idaho family would say.

Stuffing? Maybe...

All day sweets:

COOKIES! 3-D reindeer cookies. I'm baking some today to see how they work and if I need to tweak them at all for the big day. Plus all the others I'm baking for cookie boxes.

Rocky road candy...at least what ever is left after my gift boxes are made.

Bourbon balls. Ditto on above conditions.

Pretzel sticks? These will be dependent on time constraints. I'd like to get them done for the cookie boxes...but...we'll see how that goes.

Comments? Votes? This is mainly for John, so hon, "Um yeah" doesn't count as a comment. ;) We'll winnow down the list tonight and get a shopping list ready for Saturday morning.

Here we go, ho ho ho!

Quick List

Things Done:

About 10 dozen assorted cookies and coffee and eggnog delivered to John's office today!

Most of my presents secured.

Johns' family presents wrapped and handed off.

Sugar cookies cut and ready to bake. Ditto for gingerbread men.

Rocky Road candy.

Bourbon balls.

Chocolate crinkle cookie dough ready to roll and bake.

Tree trimmed.

House lit.

Things Left to Do:

Yikes. Wrapping. Maia's presents alone will take a good chunk of time.

A menu for Christmas day.

Spritz cookies.

Cookie decorating.

Cookie boxes.

All the other normal day-to-day stuff.

Eegads. I can't wait for New Years with no plans but to relax. And begin house projects...

Wii...

...got one.

And kind of on a whim. Last weekend John and had the chance to play on our friends' console and we became hooked on the Wii. We decided we needed to add one to our household. Now. For Christmas...at least for End of Year Bonus Time. Good enough reason to spend money, right?

Of course, it is only a week to Christmas and we were getting in on the hottest game in town. John spent last week looking for deals and getting to know the delivery schedules of the closest Wii dealers. Target looked good...Costco had a package deal..and there was the game store right around the corner...the breakdown went like this:

Costco gets them in at various times but only puts them out in the morning because of the pandemonium they cause.

Target gets a regular shipment Sunday morning.

Game Stop has a delivery on Friday between 10 AM and 1 PM.

Disadvantages?

Costco bundle is $500 and still has only one controller. Not such a great deal, plus you have to call everyday to see of they might put some out the next morning.

Game Stop wait time is hard on jobs and babies. More on that later.

Target is an early-rise job. And "everyone" knows when they get their shipment. So it can get crazy in line.

Friday I went to Game Stop after John told me they might have gotten their shipment in. I was in the store about 10:30 and a small group had gathered. Numbers were passed around. I was took the #5 spot form a man who was believed to have left the store. The other folks in the store knew what the delivery woman looked like. They had been here before. Apparently this store only gets a handful of units at a time...and they always instantly sell out. I had the Bee with me so I wasn't going to wait past 11 AM. We had a park date to get to. Just as I was getting ready to go, word arrived that the delivery woman was on her way. The store became more and more excited...one woman groaned that she was going to lose her job (she was on a loong lunch) but she couldn't leave--not this close to success. Another woman shared the fact that she had been trying for a Wii since November and still hadn't been able to secure one. She was #1 in line this time and wasn't going anywhere.

The Wii's were counted. Six units. I actually got a bit excited. I was five, after all, and this was our FIRST attempt to get a Wii. John's sussing out of the situation had payed off.

Then, sadness. The original #5 came back into the store. He hadn't really left--he had been pacing in front of the building. I was bumped to #7 and out of the running.

Oh well.

The Costco "deal" wasn't much of one, so John and I decided to skip that madness.

That left Target and Sunday, this, morning. John set the coffee pot last night and the alarm for 5:45 AM. He was up and out and in line by 6:10. He ended up with the #13 spot for a double holiday shipment of Wii's totaling 90! Woo-hoo! Wii-ness had been secured...along with extra controllers and nunchucks and games. Many games. In fact we returned later on in the day and purchased another game.

Check out his experience in line waiting
here.

Live blogging from the iPhone. Aren't we cool? And when I say "we" I mean "John".

So we have a new time sink addiction. And it is fun. But we did manage to get other grown-up things done today as well so we still have balance in our lives. And I might gain more as I learn to use that wii controller...

Oooof

Yikes. I tied one on tonight. Red, red wine. Stay close to me...
I am super chilly cold right now.

I am soooo happy in how John and I are raising Maia.

I am not rally caring about a new TV. But I do want one.

John wants a Wii. And i don't know if I can find one. And I have his presents already.

Friends are good. Kebabs are really good.

Slings for baby dolls are super cute and I am so glad to get one for Miss E.

I would really like to sleep now.

I have used spell-check too many times for this short of a post.

Good night!

Bless You!

Yesterday I was changing Maia and had one of my ever-present sneezing fits. When I finished sneezing I glanced down at Maia who looked up at me and said, "Bless you".

Moments like that make a heart melt.

The End of the Grand Experiment

Hats off to all of you who made it through the grand experiment of NaBloPoMo.

While I will, after this post, have the "required" 30 posts for the month of November...sadly...I did not manage to post every day. I don't think multiple posts count for NaBloPoMo.

I did enjoy the exercise. I miss writing. Even if it's just simple journaling for myself. I also discovered I am much more of a "mommy blogger" than I intended to be. But right now, I am using this space to save everyday stories...and Maia is my everyday story. I will be fun one day to print (perhaps, if we still do that sort of thing) and Bind (how retro) these Maia memories and give them to her. I love to hear stories about myself from back before I can remember. I hope she will too.

I also hope to keep some of this writing momentum going. I realized I don't have to write a novel for each post. I don't even have to have something interesting to say. I just need to be able to find the one point from my day that the rest of my day turned on. The quick distillation of gathered daylight hours. A story to remember a day by.

Because there might be a time when these days are the ones "before I can remember" and I think that would be a great loss.

Keep writing.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (?)

Why is it that the holidays, which in my minds eye is a time to come together and share with loved ones near and far, bring out the worst in families?

Why do I sometimes feel like our budding branch of the family tree is the most rational and reasonable?

Why do some people feel the need to act slighted when they have never stated a desire to be met?

And why do those same people expect those around them to be mind readers?

Please forgive my obtuse rant. I hate family drama...and I may have innocently, accidently, started some.

And this is the kind of stress that makes getting together so hard. The kind of imagined problem that only hurts those we love. The kind that hurts MY nearest and dearest, and for that, I will be upset.

Looks like we're getting the fuzzy end of the candy cane--and it's not even December yet.

But We're Not the Only Ones

I just did a quick *flickr* search for "crying" and "Santa".

Yeah. OK. So I didn't know this picture thing was such a thing.

Now I don't feel like an evil Mom. I just feel like I'm in with the "in" crowd.

And She's Scarred for Life

I took Maia for her Christmas photos with her play group friends today. It was so much fun! The kids did great, all things considered and the photos turned out really cute. I have three that I am going to frame and hang in Maia's room of the kids and a sheet of sweet Maia faces to give to family for Christmas.

We were having such a good time we decided to keep the momentum going by having the kids take pictures with Santa. After all, they were already dressed and looking nice. The mall wasn't crowded. It was early afternoon, after lunch and we planned on bribing them with cookies.

Mommy M and Mommy R were comparing childhood notes about pictures with Santa. I have no notes to compare. I think I might have one from when I was very young, but my parents just didn't do that sort of thing. Mommy N and Mommy R both have a series of bawling-on-Santa's-lap photos which they cherish...of course in the pictures their brothers are the ones crying while they beam...nevertheless they want those same sweet memories for their children.

I am game of course. Pictures of crying babies? Why not. Maia had done so well with the photographs in the studio, and she's a very open and friendly baby. I thought it would be no problem to have a Santa photo.

We arrive and step right up. No waiting. Miss A and Mommy N go first....and Miss A starts to cry even before she hits Santa's lap...lip trembling and tears welling. She starts bawling as soon as her mom lets go and stretches out her arms..."No, no, no..." Mommy R and I are holding back chuckles while Mommy N gets Miss A to aim her wails at the cameras. Click click. All done and the tears dry as soon as she's off the jolly old elf's lap.

Up next...Maia the wonder kid. She manages to say "Hi" but isn't so sure about the whole situation and begins to moan and groan as I get her on the lap. I let go and she loses it...a full face wail of scrunching misery. No arms...but her face says it all. Now Mommy N and Mommy R are looking on and laughing...and I'm trying to cheer Miss Maia up. Nope, not having it. Click. Click. We get one of her with her face up, as scrunched as it is. I pick her up and all is forgiven...at least by Maia. Santa, on the other hand, is beginning to look concerned.

Master D is next and Mommy R assures us we're in for more of the same. But then something happens...Master D remains stoic throughout the entire process. Not a tear. Not a cry. This from the young man who normally hides if you look at him funny. He was simply resigned to his fate...and I think Mommy R was almost disappointed.

Santa was glad for the break. He gave us some funny looks as we chuckled over and purchased our crying baby pictures. He really was a sweet man...I think the three of us are most definitely getting coal in our stockings this year.

The World May Never Know...

The guys/gals at John's office didn't save me a piece! Boo. I'll never know how that chocolate-ginger combination worked.

In other news:

I've just about completed my Christmas Excel spreadsheet. With this powerful tool in hand I will be able to shop until I drop and get 'er done within the next week or so. In case you were wondering how crazy I got with the spreadsheet. Well. Columns with the name of the recipient, followed by gift, where to purchase, if it has been purchased, budget/price. If only I were as organized about everything else.

I'm also planning Christmas treats in the form of baked goods, candy and jelly. Another spreadsheet waiting to be be created.

Tomorrow Maia and I, along with her friends Miss A and Master D, are going for Christmas pictures. We've not had professional pictures of all three kids done, so I'm very excited about the prospect...and nervous to see how Maia takes to it.

As Master D's mom said when I asked about lunch afterward: "Lunch? Yes. We're going to need a drink after this!" Wish us all the best of luck. Especially the photographer.

The Results

This is what I did in my last cake decorating class tonight:



Under that frosting is my Midnight Cake with ginger. For added ginger flair I frosted with a gingered cream cheese frosting. Mmmm...cream cheese. Funny thing about making frosting today. I had to rush this whole cake because we didn't get home until later in the day yesterday. We came home from Maia's music class and I needed to make my frostings. I also needed to put Maia down for a nap. Frosting needs my mixer and my 1,0000 watt motor keeps Maia awake. What to do?

I made frosting on the back porch with my hand held mixer. Not the best job I've ever done, but the location was the most unusual I've ever made cream cheese frosting. It was kind of nice to not have to clean up powdered sugar from every counter surface after the project, though.

I also manged a double batch of stiff decorator icing on the back porch with the hand-held mixer. And look what I did with that icing:



ROSES! And dots. And shells.

A closer look at my very first roses:



Roses are hard. And I was the slowest to catch on to them in our class. Mine are not so pretty...I didn't put the "practice rose" my friend/instructor made for me on my cake because it would have put my attempts to shame. But I know the
basic idea now and maybe with a little more practice I'll have flowers that look more rose-like and less cabbage-rose-like in the future.

I do like my dots. And note the masculine colors. John gets to take this into work tomorrow. And I thought pink would be a bit precious for the engineers.

I just hope they save me a little slice.

Back to Basics

I am a lover of cakes. Not so much eating them, although I do enjoy that, but baking them. I'd rather bake you a fantastic cake for some wonderful reason than just make one for myself. This is why I loved being a pastry grunt. I got to bake fantastic cakes for lots of "you" for many wonderful occasions.

And I didn't have to eat them. Although that part is OK too.

For this cake decorating class I've been looking at all kinds of fun cake recipes because it gives me a chance to do what I love. Today is kind of rushed. I need a cake this evening. One that is frosted and ready to decorate. I didn't bake last night. I still have to buy ingredients to make my frosting. I have a daughter who has her music class later on this morning. I needed to bake a cake fast.

All the "fun" recipes I've been wanting to do take too much time to get done in just under an hour. Some include ingredients I don't have on hand after being away for a week. Feeling frustrated, I looked back into my pastry past and pulled out a great chocolate cake recipe. The batter comes together in just over five minutes--about the time it takes to boil the water for the first step--bakes up in about 25-30 minutes and goes great with anything frosting wise. It also freezes well and can be baked into sheets to be cut for tiny cakes. Simple, versatile, and delicious.

The originator of the recipe is lost to me. I picked it up from my second pastry chef and I have since passed it along to the bakery I worked for. I've used it for all kinds of fun cakes and today I added crystallized ginger chips for an exotic flair. I'll frost with cream cheese and decorate with roses tonight.

And I'm going to share the "home cook" version with you. The ingredients are given in weights, because I had to scale the amounts down from an industrial-sized recipe. So bust out your kitchen scale and get baking next time company calls...

Midnight Cake
Makes two 8" round cakes.

Ingredients

10 1/4 oz. Sugar
2 oz Cocoa Powder (NOT Dutch Process)
1 1/2 cups Boiling Water

1/2 cup Vegetable oil
2 large Eggs

9 1/2 oz. AP Flour
1/4 oz. Baking Soda

Method

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Butter and flour two 8" round cake pans. Begin water boiling while measuring out the rest of the ingredients. Note: I usually prep the oil and eggs together in a measuring cup, and whisk the flour and baking soda together in a small bowl. This makes it really easy to put the batter together.

In a large bowl whisk together the sugar and cocoa powder. Pour hot water over mixture and blend. Whisk in the oil and eggs. Sift the flour and baking soda over the wet mixture, then whisk. Batter will be very wet and look lumpy. That's OK.

Divide batter evenly between the prepared pans. Bake for 25-30 minutes until cake is set, puffy and a tester inserted into the middle comes out clean. Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Turn out of pan and let cool completely before filling, frosting, or otherwise finishing off the cake.

Enjoy!

Ah Well, Blew this Month Off

I tried.

I really, really, tried.

But there should be some forgiveness for me because slow Internet is physically painful for me.

The thought of the dial tone. The choppy connection. Typing on a computer that wasn't mine. All of these things lead to very serious barriers to entry when one thinks about blogging. Especially after a long day of cooking, laughing, shopping, eating, reading and playing with the baby.

Mea culpa. I'll do better next year.

But I'll bravely post forward for the few remaining days of NaBloPoMo November.

We're back home safe and sound and well, well, maybe not so well, rested (there are many reasons to NOT sleep in the same room, let alone bed, as your child that I am painfully reminded of whenever we travel with her). Had lovely pizza for dinner with our cat-sitting neighbors. I now need to check up on e-mails and plan Christmas presents.

Let the madness begin!

Posting From the iPhone...

...because I can.

John tells me I need to perfect my finger-slide typing, but I like the hunt and peck method.

Fun day with the family. I got my Thanksgiving shopping done. It has been decided that I will make two desserts plus cranberry sauce as my contrabution to dinner. Yum, I say. If you're wondering what desserts...wonder no more: chocolate pecan pie and chocolate cranberry torte. Too much chocolate? Never. At least not with this crowd.

Tomorrow we head into Boise for some shopping and dining. It's like going to SF only cleaner. And less water. I like Boise so I'm excited.

So maybe I do need to perfect my finger slide, so that's all for now...but man do I love this phone.

And We're Off...At Some Point

Thanksgiving is being spent with John's family this year. We have an every-other winter holiday every-other year schedule going on. This schedule was started before John and I had our own family and it mainly concerns splitting time in the airplane. John's co-owner and he worked out a year to year schedule that covers who gets the plane when. It's almost as elaborate as a custody agreement.

This year is our year to have the plane for Thanksgiving...

I began this post first thing this morning in my living room. I am now at the kitchen counter of my in-laws house in Idaho.

Going by small plane has a special set of restrictions. Most often weather related. Sometimes weight related. But, usually it's the weather. We don't go as high as a commercial flight, so clouds and wind are very real stopping factors for us. Add in the seasonal joys of ice and rain and you have to be flexible with your travel plans. I packed yesterday. I packed for a week. All three of us in our large suitcase. I was planning on being able to go whenever we could. The flight is about 3.5 hours...the drive? 14. We really wanted to be able to take the plane.

Yesterday, John and sister Ari-belle replaced a wonky generator in the airplane. It took about 5 good hours of work. Then and oil change needed to be done. John didn't have a filter...so there was some more work that needed to be completed before we could away. But in checking the weather last night, it looked as though a fairly bad front was on the move over the mountain ranges we would have to cross. It didn't look like we would be able to get going until Tuesday.

We woke up this morning and looked at the weather again. Nope. Didn't look like good flying weather. We were fogged in on our end with rain over here and nice cold, icy, clouds in between.

So we did what any normal kids would do. We talked about driving and then headed to breakfast. As we were finishing up pancakes and omelets at our favorite breakfast joint, John whips out the iPhone (ed. note: I love the iPhone. I want one someday. But for now I am content to bask in the glory of my husband's.) and again checks the weather. And what do you know? A nice six hour window of smooth, albeit windy, flying has opened up for us. We scramble for the house, gather up the last of our things and hit the road to the airport. John finishes up the work on the plane, all looks good and we strap in.

The flight was better than John had expected. Fairly smooth until the last 40 minutes or so. Maia did great, we have a couple of cute pictures of her "flying" the plane that I'll post later on. She played a bit and mostly napped. She hated her headphones so I let her keep them off, but she had her ear plugs in and her headband on, so she was still protected from the engine noise.

All in all: Wheels up to wheels down took us 2 hours and 55 minutes. In the car we would have barely left California in that amount of time.

So we are here and ready to relax. It'll be nice to have a week to spend with John's folks. We don't get up here enough. If we had more flying days like today...we would get out more often. We had a very lucky break, and I for one am very glad for it.

Posts will most likely be kind of slim...surprise surprise...while here. The folks are kind of in the boondocks and only have *gasp* DIAL UP INTERNET. With a wire and everything. I will continue to NaBloPoMo.

And I'll tell you all about my pie. Well, my future Thanksgiving pie, that is.

Left Something Out...

More words I forgot about last night:

Up--pronounced "Up-ie" very cute and very important
All Done--not quite clear, but she does the sign and says the sylabals
Hot!--she holds her hands up like I do when she says this. She also says it about almost every piece of food I put in front of her.
Water--She just started this again. Right now. Holding an empty glass and asking for "Waa waa water" along with the sign for water which she gave up, I thought, after learnng the more generic "drink" sign.

An Open Letter to A.A.

(Not Alcoholics Annoyomus)

Dear Ambrosia,

You recently made you blog private. While I respect your wish to keep your daily life and happenings to your friends, I would kindly ask to be included among them. While I am very lax in the comment department (in a bar situation I am a listener, a watcher, a voyer, if I may) I do check in daily to see how you are doing.

Creepy? Maybe. But your life has become a part of mine. And this is the magical power of blogging on the open plain of the Internet.

I rejoiced in you marriage. I love your tales of Bawb and the cats and the dog. I was thrilled to hear about the house. I like the recaps of the weekends with your friends and family. Even if I have never met you. And I probably never will.

There are pieces of you that remind me of myself. There are pieces of you that remind me of my sister and pieces that remind me of my friends here. Mostly, I kind of like the idea of knowing someone from their writings and personal musings.

Of course, I would understand if this humble request is denied. We don't know each other...and perhaps somethings are to personal to share with a wide audience. You will always be welcomed here. Just drop me a line to let me know how you are.

It's funny. How one can miss someone they have yet to meet. But I do.

I'll post my e-mail in the comments if you are willing to grant my request.

Most respectfully yours,

~valerie

aka: domestic_valerie

Maia's New Word--Or, The Beginning of the End

John was amazed by how vocal Maia has become in the past week. In a way, it's kind of good to not see her...then you realize how fast she changes. But, when you're gone you don't get to see the changes happening...so it's a catch 22 kind of situation.

Maia's greatest discovery this week? She now knows "no". She knows how to use it, and she really knows what it meas when I say it--as it pertains to me not letting her do what she wants. As evidenced by her screaming fits.

She'll tell me "no" and mean it. It began innocently enough. She was eating cereal. Like this:



(Do you like my new camera? Early birthday present from the BEST HUSBAND EVER.)

She was getting frustrated as she neared the end of the bowl and couldn't scoop the nice clumps of granola out. I tried to help her by pushing the cereal onto her spoon with my own. She looks at me. Opens her mouth and out comes, "No" in the sweetest little voice. I tried again, thinking it was a fluke. This time it's "Mama, NO". OK. I get it, little one. You have discovered the power of "No".

So all week it's been "no" this and "no" that. Every question is met by "no" first off. Then she might reconsider your offer. Or I have to override her authority. I'm hoping she tires of the novelty soon, but somehow, I fear we're in for a lot more of the word.

That little lesson in toddler speak got me to wondering how many words she does know well enough to use. Feel free to skip the list, this is really more for myself than anyone else.

Maia's words:

Mama
Dada
Cheese--pronounced "chee"
Please--pronounced kind of like "peas"
Hi!
Bye!
Night-Night--pronounced "ni ni"
Kitty
Cat
Maia--Daddy taught her this
Miles--Because they play together and it's so close to her name. She won't say Ava or David just yet...we're working on it.
Auntie--Sometimes with a name, Nat for Natalie or Ariee for Arielle
Balloon--pronounced "bpoon" This is an all-purpose word. She uses it for any round object in the air. She uses it for "Moon" and she used it this afternoon while pointing at the oranges hanging form our tree.
Cracker
Eat
No--of course, although she has no word for "Yes". Which kind of disturbs me. We're working on it.
Go
Shoes
Baby--who she pushes in her stroller. Or points to on my shirt today.

My favorite word? That would be broccoli. She pronounces it "braw-coo". She can pick broccoli out of a mixed vegetable dish. She points and says "Brawcoo! Brawcoo!" Then she eats the tops off the stalks and smiles.

I'm sure there are more words. Like tonight she said "Cow" for the first time while making the sign for cow. But the list are words she is now using on a regular basis and really knows what they mean.

I also know that she understands much more than she can speak back right now. This morning I was getting dressed and had my shirt drawer open. Maia was there and I jokingly asked her "What should Mama wear today?" the joke was on me, I picked a shirt out and began to put it on when she looked at me, said "No" and handed me another shirt to put on. The shirt she wanted me to wear. So I changed shirts. I have to learn to not ask for help if I don't really want it. ;)

Sick Again?

I think all this blogging is taking it's toll. I am sick once again. This time the cold has settled firmly in the throat and upper chest. Hack. Hack. Sore throat.

No fair.

John comes home tonight to a sick wife and a baby who is becoming feverish. What a fun weekend we'll have!

Two Reasons Why...

...I love having a girl!

One...two...PIGTAILS!

Maia was in a compliant mood this morning so I got to do her hair. It doesn't happen often. I usually don't care to struggle with her getting-long-but-still-wispy hair.

But, OK, tell me that's not cute. I dare you.

BUSTED!

Aii-yah. I fell asleep on the couch last night and woke up after midnight. So now I have missed a day of NaBloPoMo-ing.

I plead lots of things: A baby day---always busy. Waiting to see if my drop-ship food order was going to arrive in time for me to pick it up. Nope. Running off to Oakland to help my sister with her car, then wait with my dad's wife while he was in surgery. Long wait. But he's just fine. Catch dinner with said sister. Go home. Put very tired baby to sleep and pass out on the couch.

I'm tired. Like I usually am. And my cold is back. Whaa-whaa whaaa.

So maybe if I post twice today, you'll forgive me. Maybe I'll post a picture of my incredible daughter (who just woke up) and you'll forget all about missing a day.

She is just that cute.

Worst Cake Ever

You know, there was a time not long ago I was paid to frost cakes. I think the key there was that I didn't make the frosting. Unless it was ganache. I make a mean ganache. And the cakes had things like nuts or chocolate sprinkles on the sides so I only had to get the tops real smooth.

Not tonight.

I haven't made a worse looking cake in, oh, years. Since before I discovered the joys of an offset spatula. I was embarrassed to bring it with me. What happened? A rush to get it done, is what happened. A perfect storm of a too-powerful mixer and a hurried, harried cook. Yup. I over beat it and it turned to mush. Like melted bubble gum. Stretchy and sticky and gloopy instead of a perfect cloud of soft and shiny buttercream. It was nightmarish.

I tried fixing it. It made it worse. I took it to class and smoothed icing over the top to kind of contain it. Not so pretty. I "tore" a big section of frosting off. Please don't laugh.

And now I see that my beautiful "decorator" icing is bleeding into my awful buttercream. Because the buttercream didn't set up. Eegads. I'm only sharing this so you *might* see an improvement next week.

So. lesson learned: for this class at least "decorator icing" (made with shortening not butter) is going to be the key. And don't try new recipes when in a rush. Bake and frost the day before. Really do.

Next week: Red Velvet Cupcakes with cute flowers and maybe a clown! Scary that...

And just in case you were wondering, the awful looking frosting tastes divine, and the pretty stuff isn't bad. It's made with organic palm-oil shortening. No trans fats. Smooth and creamy and solid...so maybe there is actual hope for next week.

30 Minutes to Midnight

Whew! Almost missed a day...couldn't let that happen now could we?

Our day:

Woke up. Hung out. Folded diapers (finally). Fed the Maia, napped the Maia. Planned a cake. Bought missing ingredients for said cake. Will frost and decorate cake tomorrow in class and post pictures. Read my book.

Decided to make the men stop staring at computer screens.

Jumped in the car and drove to San Francisco. Stopped at In'N'Out. Felt slightly guilty about feeding Maia fast food while she was strapped into her car seat. Now she is truly an American.

Went on walk about in Aquatic Park. Saw oil-covered birds. Felt bad about said birds. Checked out the ships at Hyde Pier. Loved the steam ferry.

Took Maia to the slightly inappropriate Buena Vista Cafe to celebrate 55 years of Irish Coffee. We were joined by a family with a six-year-old in tow who used the excuse "We're Irish!" to cover for the fact that they were essentially taking a child to a bar. As were we. As we have before. Hey, if they serve food, and they do, it's legal. Regardless of whether or not we buy any. Our response to them was "Hey, he's not the youngest here!" So they joined us and the adults had more Irish Coffees and the kids sipped milk.

As an aside...Maia has been to several places just this side of inappropriate. All over Europe. Smokey cafes while sleeping in the stroller. Momma having a beer with lunch. And Alaska. Juneau was the best. Saw dust. Fire retardant. Two rounds of beer. A story for another time.

Dinner after drinks. Tried a touristy place that turned out to be nice. Good food. Nice wine. Jazz trio that Maia enjoyed.

Ghirardelli square for ice cream sundae dessert.

Home again!

Lunch with my mom tomorrow. Seeing John off for the week. I'll be batchin' it. So that means I will be posting for sure...so John can keep up with the news.

Lazy Day...Scratchy Throat

Worst night of sleep in a long time. I hate the drippy nose just getting a cold feeling. I woke up just about every hour just feeling bad. Hot. Then cold. Then dry and scratchy. Plus, I had weirdly intense dreams. Not a good night for sleep.

So we took it easy today. Nice and easy. John's dad is in town for a visit so we began the day with a breakfast trip to The Cats for Southern Lovin'. Then the boys geeked out at the Apple store and I bought Christmas pj's for Maia (not at the Apple store...but down the street). So cute! And on sale!

The guys took me and the little Miss home where the girls had lunch and then napped for a couple of hours. The boys went off to do more boy stuff.

Got up. Puttered around. Built a block fortress for Maia to knock down. It's funny. When I was little, I HATED for my brother to come and knock my block towers down. I used to get so mad at him. Now I build towers for maximum knock-down-age. She makes this really funny "squee" when she knocks things down. Somehow, it's the best sound in the world.

Out for dinner. And now, as a group of adults, we are all sitting in the living room with a laptop apiece not speaking. Very valley.

John is going to update me to "Leopard" so I think I will have some tea for my scratchy throat and actually read a book. Maybe under the covers in some yummy pj's. Listen to the patter of rain and go to sleep early. A nice way to cap of a nice lazy day.

Well, That was Awkward

Well, as Tori Amos would say: "Caught a Light Sneeze"...I suppose that's one of the pitfalls of motherhood. Maia has a snotty nose, and I have the cold as well. Yuck. So that's my excuse for a short post.

Let me share a story of my day with you:

I went and did errands. That's what I do. You know, grocery store and the like. I stopped by Walgreen's Drugstore ti pick up some pregnancy tests. And No. I am not pregnant as my Aunt Flow made very clear with her arrival later on in my day. But, I am trying to get pregnant...and I get kind of obsessive about having pregnancy tests around. I was out. So I needed to get some. Because if my dear auntie hadn't shown up, well. This would have been the weekend to test.

I have Maia in hand. I pop in to the store and find my isle. Ever buy a pregnancy test? They have a kind of weird isle of "Sex" in every drugstore. You'll find "feminine products" next to the condoms and the "personal lubricant". If you're in a big drugstore it will be called the "Family Planning" isle.

I don't care. I just need the tests. I wander down the usually empty isle and there is a man standing right where I need to be. I'm not sure if he's buying condoms or personal lubricant...but he stops dead when he sees me.

We kind of pretend that the other doesn't exist. He just stands there as I decide if I need two tests or three. I decide on two...and take leave of the isle. As I turn to go, I hear my shopping companion begin to breathe again. And that was that.

A Shout-Out to my (blog) Friend

If you think simply putting a few lines on your blog every day this month is a challenge, like I do, then you really need to check out one of my favorite bloggers to see what "crazy" means. Or should I say "Manic"?

That's right Manic Mommy is interviewing various bloggers this month. Her questions are telling, thought provoking (if puke and boobs are what you like to think about), and very, very funny. Bonus YouTube videos included!

Leave a comment and you might be next. Just say "Domestic Valerie" sent me. ;)

Maia Moment of the Day: Snacks Please

Maia has been a grumpy girl for the past few days. Cranky, not eating, (well, that's kind of a matter of course with her) not wanting to play...generally not wanting to do much of anything except be a pill. A cute pill, but a pill none-the-less.

Today she woke up with a snotty nose. Great. Last winter we managed to squeak by with a minimum of illness. Looks like this year we're in for whatever bug happens by. This will be her second cold in as many months. I should be buying stock in McNeil-PPC, Inc. and Novartis.

Of course, not wanting to be upstaged any more than I have to be by Miss M, I have been feeling under the weather for the past couple of days as well. It's been cranky pants city around here. I feel for my poor husband.

I was beginning to fear that her cuteness was not going to be enough to get us through the rest of the week. But fear not! Cuteness prevails around here.

This evening as I was puttering around straightening the house and getting dinner started Maia decided she needed a snack. She knows where her snacks are kept...in the cabinet under our kitchen not-an-island island. She comes walking up to me holding a bag of Goldfish (whole grain, did you know they made those?? but the first ingredient is "smiles") and her snack trap. Because earlier in the day when she asked for crackers, that was what I had given her: goldfish in a snack trap. I guess she decided to give me all the tools to facilitate her snacking pleasure.

Word of the Day : Ball!

Maia is adding new words every day. This morning she woke up and her first word was "ball"...not her more usual "kitty" or "Hi". All day it was "Ball, ball, ball" broken only by the occasional "baby".

She has enough to talk about, we have four different balls to play with, and that only counts the larger ones.

I only wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Four Weeks...Three Cakes

A mommy friend of mine teaches the cake decorating classes at Michaels and my other mommy friend and I have decided to give it a whirl.

For all my "skills" behind the stove and in the oven, I am seriously lacking in the "make it pretty" department. I can not *gasp* make a frosting rose to save my life. I know many of you are rolling eyeballs in my general direction, but really, when you tell people you were in the pastry business they expect certain things. Like frosting roses.

Never mind the pie crust as light as air. The delicate scent of rosemary married in a perfect shortbread crusted lemon bar. The homemade cakes towering and covered in real sugared fruit. Cute cupcakes with cream cheese frosting (I can pipe...I'm not hopeless). No it's all about the frosting bling, in some circles.

Plus, I like pretty. What girl doesn't?

I also like excuses to buy new pastry equipment. And I might be able to pull off some pretty fantastic birthday cakes in the near future.

I'm pretty excited. I love piping bags. And my teacher friend is so much fun. It's been a long time since I took a class simply for pleasure.

I'll post pictures of my efforts here, so you can see what I'm up to. We do get to bake the cakes, so expect something more than a box from me. After all, as my husband would say, I have a reputation to uphold. ;) And he'll be eating the majority of my efforts.

Dibs!

I've found other bloggers I regularly read participating in this monster called National Blog Posting Month aka NaBloPoMo. The difference between others and myself, other than talent, is their ability to post real posts. I have resorted to two sentences and it's only November 4th.

Lord help us when I'm in Idaho for Thanksgiving. I'll have to deal with *shudder* DIAL UP INTERNET. I think that's the worst part about a visit to the northern climes for this girl from the heart of the Silly-Con Valley.

I thought I would take this "extra hour" (really, it's the same hour we lost in the spring) allotted to us by the political machinations of WWI and maybe write a complete story/thought. I'll try at least.

I mentioned that I had a busy day yesterday. In the morning John and I delivered a table and chairs to my sister Natalie, bought a safe from a "unique" woman, and had breakfast. I then went to a baby shower for a friend of mine who is due with her first in December. Then it was back to sister Natalie's apartment for her birthday party. This was the first she had hosted a birthday for herself in her own home...so it was a big deal. That also required a quick trip to buy a present because my original plans fell through.

It was also a "work" day for John. I was fast asleep when he was finally able to come to bed last night. It's been that kind of week(s) for him.

My immediate family was all in attendance last night, so we naturally fell into conversation about the holidays. Who is going to be where for what. My parents are divorced. My dad just remarried to the lovely woman he's been dating for about 5 years. She is also a divorcee with two almost grown children with other family obligations and, of course, my siblings all have different places to be on holidays. Holidays around here are carefully orchestrated productions. I have to keep a running tab years in advance of where my little family needs to be for Thanksgiving/Christmas. It's enough to make one a little less cheerful about the upcoming celebrations of friends and family. Bah-humbug, Holiday Season. I'm tired already, just working out the logistics.

I have, of course, already planned out where John, Maia and I need to be. We're in Idaho with his parents for Thanksgiving. We'll be home for Christmas and I am hosting a Christmas Day Open House. All my family and perhaps assorted friends can drop by anytime during that day and stay for a snack, a meal, and a movie. We'll be playing Christmas classics all day long. I'll have a nice spread. There will be presents under the tree. There will be joy all around. There will be no formal where-the-heck-will-everyone-sit dinner like the last time I tried to host Christmas. I'm looking forward to it.

So the festivities for this year have been sorted. Kind of. At least I know where I'll be.

I leave the party around 8:30 and my brother, Rick, offers to help Maia and I to the car. He says he'd like to speak to me about something. Alright. He has decided that he wants Halloween. Specifically, he wants Maia for Halloween. He wants that to be their special holiday. He loves Halloween and he was musing about how he missed Trick-or-Treating and dressing up. He would love to show Maia the ropes of going door to door and creating a special bond for the two of them over costumes and candy. I am blown away by this. A very sentimental gesture on the part of my usualy stoic brother. How could I resist? I'm loving dressing her up and parading her around...but I really like the handing out the candy part of the evening as well. I'm thinking about how cool a tradition it would be to go out with Uncle Rick on Halloween. I hope we do make it a tradition.

My hour is up. Maia is stirring in her bed and I'm thinking about making breakfast at home. Muffins sound good. I have to check the cupboard, though. Then it's shopping and dinner at dad's to look at honeymoon pictures and play with the wedding gifts. Family stuff. But now I have next Halloween to look forward to.

Have a good day, fellow NaBloPoMo'ers. Check you later.

Cheating!

OK...so today has been really busy and I am really tired. But to honor my month-long commitment I will post a cheatin' post.

Check out our fun Halloween! John has posted a video he edited for everyones pleasure and pictures of Maia in her Grandma made costume. I made the hair clips.

Here's the link:Halloween


We're hosting the video...have a cup of coffee while it downloads. And enjoy!

Recaps of the madness tomorrow!

Quick Tip #2:

Hair dye DOES NOT (especially after sitting all day) clean off easily from my crappy plastic counter tops. Comet (the real abrasive powder in a can) usually does the trick.

Quick Tip:

Hair dye cleans off of tile bathroom floors so much easier than it cleans off of linoleum floors. Just to let you know.

Maia Moment of the Day

It should be easy to blog for a month by picking an Official Maia Moment of the Day. Don't worry, I'll try and post about other things in my life. But you know, it's my life and Maia pretty much fills my day.

Today's moment is brought to you by the sign
"shoe".

Maia has become obsessed with shoes. It's no wonder. She's my daughter. At the height of my collection I owned close to 50 pairs. That may not sound like a lot of shoes to some of you, but I would forgo eating and any extra closet space for shoes. I love them. I still do, even if my collection has dwindled to under 20 pairs. I don't get out as much as I used to. But I digress.

So Maia fishes a single shoe from her basket of footwear and asks me to put it on for her. Asking consists of making the sign for "shoe" and thrusting her shoe and her foot in my direction. I oblige, but we have a conversation about how she only has one shoe, and she needs the other. I don't know where the other shoe is to be found. She has grabbed one from a pair we don't wear often, mostly because they're still a bit too big. She wanders off, happy in her lopsided shoeness. I figured she'd pull it off in a minute or two and that would be that.

A few minutes later Maia tracks me to the kitchen, matching shoe in hand and asks me to put that other one on her. I still don't know where she pulled it from. But she constantly amazes me at how much she understands.

If only "no" would begin to take on some meaning for her...

November Blog Fest

I am taking the challenge. I am committed to posting EVERY DAY this month. It's part of: http://nablopomo.ning.com/

Check it out, all you other random non-posters like me out there.

Blueberries

Some quick notes about Maia, because these things should be written down and I am tragicly bad at journaling. No baby book here. Well, maybe someday, but I still need to remember these things.

So:

Maia loves blueberries. They are, hands down, her favorite food. She started eating them around 14 months...right about the time I was getting seriously desperate over her lack of desire to eat any kind of solid food. At least on a semi-regular basis. She ate an entire pint over the course of two meals. I should have slowed her down, but hey. It was something she'd eat.

Over the next few days she consumed a few more pints. And developed a raging diaper rash. Ooops. We slowed the blueberry consumption way down after that. Now, she gets some with breakfast, maybe more with lunch or dinner. We know she's not feeling well if she won't eat blueberries. If she gets a fruit salad, she'll pick the blueberries out first. It's very cute.

She started walking backwards yesterday. Because she can.

Maia has about 15 signs she uses, and 7-9 that she uses on a regular basis. She started signing "please" when she wants something. Or she'll sign "more" if she wants to do something she's done before. Today I asked her if she wanted some blueberries. She signed "please" as her answer.

She doesn't use very many verbal words. I'm not worried. She communicates with us and babbles in sentence patterns. She doesn't like to try new things, unless she's fairly sure she can do it right. I think she'll begin talking a bit later than many of her peers, but she'll begin with sentences. And it will come all at once. Like most things she does.

Maia likes to read books. She'll sit with a book, babble the words and turn the page and babble some more. I need to get a video of her doing that.

Maia started riding her birthday rocking horse. She does it all herself..except for mounting up. She can dismount when she's done riding. That's another activity I need to record.

About two weeks ago she started shape sorting. She loves to sort her wooden blocks that have a clever sorted lid. She'll be occupied for long (for a toddler) stretches of time sorting. Yesterday we got out her sorting box and she was able to sort the more difficult shapes, the star and triangle, with ease.

She's had a runny nose for the past week. Ick. She hates to have have her snot "snortled" with the bulb nose clearer so I've been attacking her with tissues which she only tolerates. This morning she took the tissue and blew her own nose. Right at this moment, she came walking up with a baby wipe and blew her nose all on her own. Baby wipes don't tear like tissues do. That's a good thing.

Maia is beginning to "help" when we get dressed and undressed. She likes to pull her shirts over her head. I'm waiting for her to discover that she can do that particular trick all on her own. Shirtless in the winter. Just what we need.

A quick tooth report: She has her two back bottom molars and is working on the two back top molars. No bottom eye teeth yet, just a cute gap between the four front teeth and the molars. That's 10 in and working on 12. Woo-hoo!

Next up: Weaning from the Bottle. We'll begin that trick next week. Wish me luck and an minimum of hard to get to sleep nights.

Three Years Ago

Three years ago today I stood on a beach at 10:30 in the morning and was joined together with my favorite man for ever and always...we wrote out the "till death do us part". Why should death stop a good thing?

Two years ago today we gave each other the best present ever as we found out that we were going to be parents...and our lives would never be the same. In a very good way.

One year ago today we ate sushi in our living room while our precious three-month-old slept. We thought it couldn't get better than that.

Tonight we have a baby sitter and we'll dine on German food. A bottle of our honeymoon Riesling is chilled in the fridge. We'll toast or good luck and our love as each year it gets stronger.

Three years. Too short a span for the lifetime of memories we have already created.

Cheers to you, my love.

Cute Story of the Week

Cute Maia story: (because I really should be writing these down somewhere so I can tell them to her over and over someday) Feel free to skip as the "cute baby" levels increase...

I am watching my friend's 9 month old son two days a week now. We're all adjusting to new things and it's hard first thing in the morning. Mr. M of course doesn't like to be dropped off, but he's getting better. That said, Mr. M was crying in my lap and I needed to distract him. Maia was playing in the doorway of her room and I ask her to go get a book so that we can read to Mr. M.

She hesitates before looking at me and doing the sign for book (her first time doing this) and then walks to the bookshelf, runs her fingers across the spines of her books before choosing one, and then pulls it out. Instead of bringing it to me to read, she plops down and "reads" the book to herself in baby babble.

She then chooses another book out from her shelf and brings it over to Mr. M and I and reads the book to us. Again in baby babble.

I love this kid, I really, really do.

Spetember 25

3rd Anniversary Traditional Gift:

Leather(!)

"As a material, leather is durable, warm, strong, flexible, and has a sense of resiliency to it. These are qualities that help marriages continue to thrive."

Hmmm, I was going to write about how I didn't expect a gift this year, my dear John. But leather? I'm feeling tingly in my toes now. So many options...so little time until Tuesday. I didn't know about the leather when we picked the restaurant where we will be wiling the night away. But now it fits oh-so-well. You know, lederhosen and all.

Three years. Where does the time go?

Friday Night Cheese Party

It was one of those evenings only a mom (or a dad, maybe) could appreciate:

Sick baby girl. She picked up a nice little virus at the beginning of the week and has been weathering the ups and downs since. Fever spikes, appetite lows and loads of snuggling on the couch with mommy. Yesterday she didn't eat much at all. I've been tempting her with food favorites but she just wants her bottle and yesterday she didn't even want that. At bed time she takes her bottle--the whole thing--and then proceeds to throw it back up. All over herself. All over the floor. All over the Mom.

It looks likes cheese curds. Ever seen the cheese making process? Cheese begins life as milk that is heated and curdled and then separated from the watery milk in little chunks. That was all over the floor.

I strip Maia down. I strip myself down. As I head for the bathroom to draw a bath for the baby, I notice that the Harvey cat has chosen this very moment to express his disappointment in the state of his litter box by pooping on the floor. Great. So I'm in underwear staring at curds and whey vomit on one floor and cat poop on another. What's a girl to do?

Call John and ask him to bring home a pizza. That's what.

I did manage to get everything cleaned up. I attacked the floor of Maia's room after scooping the poop and while the bath was running. After soaking the carpet with cleaner, I dropped the baby in the tub and cleaned the cat box out. Soaped the kid, got her out and into clean pj's then scrubbed the carpet again.

All this in my underwear.

I did manage to have my pj's on by the time John got home with dinner. I earned my beer last night.

Check

Alright, we'll be counting today as the first day of Walking. Maia has taken several small groups of steps all over...at the park and at home. She's not taken more than 4-5 and she'll usually stumble through 2-3 before either grabbing something or sitting down. But, hey. It has begun.

And it is very, very cute.

Radio Silence

Sorry for the interruption in service...I will resume regularly scheduled blogging soon.

~dv

Friday Night

On the recommendation of dooce I went ahead a read through Spinner's 25 Most Exquisitely Sad Songs.

Happy weekend me.

So now here I am sitting and drinking a double whiskey alone running through our song collection and playing the saddest songs I can find. Some from the top 25. Johnny Cash covering Nine Inch Nails "Hurt" twice.

That's when I broke out the whiskey.

Meh

I go through phases these days and lately its been a down swing. When I hit a down swing its all I can do to actually get up and get through my day...let alone write about it.

I'm not sure where this is coming from. Usually it's stress of hormones or something concrete I can pin down and deal with then get over. This time its lasting. I haven't felt good in weeks. No energy. No desire to do anything. I get tired half way through the day and then I'm done. For good. Housework comes and goes in phases. I spent several days working on pieces of our bedroom and nothing else. Now I'm desperately trying to get the kitchen clean but it all seems so futile. I cook, I clean, I clean, I cook. It's a never ending circle of despair.

Don't even get going on the diet. That will put me over the edge and in to full blown tear phase.

The school project has been grinding me down. That's almost over, thank god. My adviser was so right to suggest I do this one class on its own after coming back from having a baby. It's killing me. Two more weeks. That's it. Two more weeks.

Maia was sick sick sick last week. Poor baby. Fever for four days, crankiness, then even worse a lethargy that left her folded over with her head on the floor, eyes open and staring, instead of playing with the toys in front of her. That's when I called the doctor for a second time and brought her in. The verdict? UTI. That's urinary tract infection for those lucky enough to never have had those words uttered at them. Of course there are complications to a bladder infection at this age. Physical immaturity of the urinary tract can lead to a "back flow" from the bladder to the kidneys and in case of infection, this can lead to kidney damage. Oy. So more tests for Maia. And a regular dose of antibiotics to maintain an infection-free urinary tract once the current infection has been thoroughly killed.

All this for a baby whose parents decry the over use of antibiotics and swore to take a "watch and see" approach with illness. See how things change in the thick of it. Of course, I understand that *possible* sensitivity to certain antibiotics in the future is a very small price to pay to avoid kidney damage. I'm simply pointing out the irony here.

I blame the formula for this infection. Another item on the long list of shot down "nevers".

I hope to feel pithy at some point again in the near future.

For the present, I don't expect much.

POST!

Posting for the sake of posting. Meh. Time for bed.

Murphy's Law

There is a cloth diaper clause to Murphy's Law that states:

When the diaper pail has been emptied out and rinsed clean the very next diaper will be a poopy one. Just so the poo (residue, we flush the majority) sits for the longest time it can.

It's one thing that I hadn't considered in my diaper spreadsheet.

Bad Ideas and Monster Days

That last 3x non-fat latte was a bad idea. Seemed good at the time, but now I'm tired and still buzzing slightly from caffeine. I already don't sleep well alone. Coffee isn't going to help that cause.

Speaking of not sleeping...little M was quite the monster today. She didn't nap. Not one bit. Well, maybe a bitty bit. But not nearly enough. That's why I needed the coffee. To keep up wit her.

Maia has discovered the ability to pull herself up to standing in her crib. She has also discovered that her mattress bounces when one stand up on it. She has decided that sleep is for the weak and she would much rather be a crazy standing baby than a cheerful rested one. The rested one has to LAY DOWN for a while. The crazy baby gets to STAND UP and BOUNCE. Tough decision.

And it won't help one bit to drop her mattress the rest of the way down. She holds on to the side rail slats. She doesn't need the top bar at all. One friend has suggested plexi-glass and after a few more days like this I might just consider it.

It wasn't as though I didn't try to get her to nap. She just knows when she hits the bed. At morning nap time we read a story and had a bottle and she was blissfully drowsy when I put her down to sleep. As soon as her body hit the mattress, she began to roll about and sit up. I lay her down and turned on the mobile. Roll and sit. I lay her down again and left the room. 15 minutes later I go in again to lay her down. She sits up in bed, gets into a corner, leans into it and cries. After an hour of struggling with her, I give up and we got to the park. We play. We have lunch. It's nap time. She's full and I figure she's got to be tired by now.

She falls asleep in the car. I transfer her to her bed, still sleeping. Head on mattress...awake. Roll, sit, pull up and bounce. I make another bottle. We rock. She dozes off. I put her down. I leave the room and all is quiet. 5 minutes later I hear the distinctive squeek squeal of Miss bouncing. I head into the room and sure enough, there she is laughing away. I give up quickly this time.

Fortunatly, a friend calls and we decided to do coffee. We're both dragging. I think, "Perfect, Maia can sleep in the stroller". I changer her up, bundle her into the stroller and away we go. She refuses to sleep. Coffee is nice. We walk around downtown. We visit the bookstore. Maia pulls up on anything and everything she can. Still no sign of sleep. We walk home. Not an eye shut.

I need to attend a neighborhood meeting. I am so very worried about the impending Maia meltdown, I begin to sweat. We go off, bottle in hand, toys in place and a blanket for the grass. Maia does very well up to the very end when she just can't take it anymore. I bounce her to sleep on my shoulder. I pick up her toys. I gather the information from the meeting. Maia stays asleep through all this and the walk home. She stays asleep as I greet my brother. She stays asleep as I take off her hat, unsnap her jacket, and pull it off of her. She stays asleep until her head hits the mattress. Sigh.

Back to square one. PJ's on. Another bottle. Lots of rocking and snuggling. She's out. Until the crib. I leave her, exausted and trying to pull up on her bed. This is one determined baby. She finally passes out from sheer exhaustion after about 3 minutes of *light* fussing.

That was around 9 PM. I hope she stays down until 11 AM. Even if it means missing my group meeting. (darn)

Have I mentioned my lack of showering? No daddy break and no nap for Maia equals one stinky mama. Another bad idea from our monster day.

Best Line of the Day

From the "TSA: Traveling With Children" section of their website:

NEVER leave babies in an infant carrier while it goes through the X-ray machine.

Gee, thanks for the reminder. And what are the security screening guards there for, if not to remind you to not irradiate your children?

Tolstoy Revisited

Monday I gave Maia a bath. We do that on occasion. She loves the big tub and loves to splash. It's also a nice way to kill some time before bed when I'd rather play with her than cook dinner or pick up toys.

We like bubbles. Who doesn't? I usually squeeze in a good portion of Honeysuckle baby wash and let the bubbles pile up. This evening, the bubbles were especially high and piled at the tap end of the tub. I put Maia in the middle and she immedately headed for the tower of bubbles. She went in for a combined bubble smack tub splash and ended up with bubbles all over her face.

The results were rather amusing. She looked just like this:




I really expected her to start dictating "War and Peace" revisions at me. Her eyes were all big and serious, her hair sparse and wild. Dense, dripping, white bubbles forming her beard.

Come to think of it, my Mom has always claimed some Russian blood on her father's side of the family...

*sigh*

Sometimes I'd rather be fat than diet. Make that "most times"...

Downward-Facing Baby

I took a yoga class (for credit) last Spring while pregnant. My teacher was a very old guard hippie yoga guy who discovered yoga while attending SF state during the 60's. The highlight of one of his speeches was how yoga allowed him to make it through a three-month prison sentence.

He had his own yoga instruction book. It included several picture of his (then) very young daughter in various "natural" yoga poses. He said that babies and small children instinctivly preformed yoga because of the ways it helps strengthen the body.

OK. I get it. It was kind of out there for me, but the pictures were cute and he was a very good instructor.

Today Maia perfected Downward Facing Dog.

Just like the picture. She had her feet planted, head down, arms out-stretched, butt up and out. Perfect. She can't crawl, but darn if she can't do yoga.

What is it About Costco?

Really. Another Costco parking lot story:

We went a bit nuts at Costco Sunday and made a large, impulsive purchase. We bought a bike trailer for Miss M. We've been debating the merits of bike seats vs. trailers for a while now and had decided to go with a front-attaching bike seat when we came across the trailer again.

So we went trailer. It fits two kids (planning for the future), will allow Miss M to sleep if needs be on a longer ride which also gives us more flexiblity in our travels--and more time which is good if you're a slow biker mommy like myself. If John hauls it, it might actually slow him down to my pace while keeping his heart rate up. Good things all around. The trailer also has storage room in the back, great for trips to the farmers market, or grocery store. Best of all, we bought the style that converts to a stroller so we have a way to roll her about once we get to our destination.

It just seemed like what we really needed. Plus, it's Costco with their very liberal return policy if it doesn't work.

Back at the car, we realized just how big the dang thing is in the box. The BOB stroller was already in residence in the trunk of the Jetta. Plus we had our normal load of groceries and a looming trip to TJ's for more. Oh. And a suitcase. John is headed for Germany and needed one...that's another story.

So my super engineer husband is working hard to fit everything in the car. The trailer mostly fits in the trunk and the groceries fit around it. The BOB has the wheels popped off it and fits in the back seat. John is busy securing the trunk lid with a length of rope when the owner of the car next to us shows up with her two enormus carts of Costco goodies.

The car next to us is an extended Suburban. A monster of an SUV. That had been parked too close to us on the drivers side. That John had been bumping (with his body) in hopes of setting off an alarm system previous to the owner coming back. So the women in the Suburban unload groceries while John is tying down the lid of our nice little sedan. As the driver is getting ready to climb into her monster car she turns to me, looks at Maia and says: "One more and you'll be driving the Suburban too. That's just the way it is."

Ummm. OK. No.

I'm not sure I really understood what she meant. Yeah, our car was full, but it's not a normal occurance. If she didn't want the monster car, there are options out there that provide room, safety and fuel economy. And just because I live in the Valley and have a child doesn't mean I MUST want or need an SUV.

Please.

I'm waiting on my station wagon, thank you very much. Diesel. 40+ miles to the gallon. And I'll be able to out race that Suburban any day of the week.

Musing on Marriage

I've been thinking about marriage and the changes children bring to it. I've been thinking about the choices I've made and where they have lead me. I've been thinking about my baby and how she has changed me and my relationship with John and how we've become stronger--because if we didn't I could see how we could have been splintered apart. If you're not secure in your partnership before the baby arrives, he/she will only serve to drive the wedge deeper.

I'm sure that in some cases a baby makes a couple step up to the plate, so to speak, (I have a shining example of that in a friend of mine) but a baby is not a tool to test the resolve of your relationship with.

One of the greatest pieces of advise my mom gave me was this: "Marriage doesn't change a relationship, but children do". I am glad that I heeded it and waited until this point in my life to have children.

I met John at 25--well, just shy of my 25th birthday. I was careening out of control. I had the rock and roll lifestyle, sans heroin. I didn't have a clue what I wanted from life, I had subjugated myself into the image I thought others around me wanted. I lived through people, not for people. I was unbelievably selfish as I think most 20-25 year olds are. I was getting set to move out of town, across the state on a whim. Just because I could and I didn't want to be where I was anymore. I didn't want to be myself anymore.

Did I mention that I'd also just left an incredibly failed marriage? One with no children and of that I am grateful because we would have been awful parents at that time in our collective life.

Not an auspicious beginning for John and I. But, as Liz Phair sang in her earthy-ethereal way:

...But something about just being with you
Slapped me right in the face, nearly broke me in two
It's a mark I've taken heart
And I know I will carry it with me for a long, long time...

What came next was four years of dating and soul-searching and coming to terms with who we were as a couple. For me, it was coming to terms with who I was and what I needed on my own in order to be able to give of myself completely. If you don't know yourself, you can not know or love deeply another. It just doesn't work. You become an empty shell in that relationship and eventually break.

I have to give credit to my sometimes long-suffering then boyfriend. He encouraged in me in ways no one had ever before. Do you know it was he who suggested I look into the restaurant business which lead to cooking school? He helped me develop a passion and a career out of something I didn't think I was good enough to do. He helped by encouraging, by cajoling, by challenging me to seek more from myself than I thought was there.

I knew he was the kind of man who would make a great dad.

We didn't wait long after being married to start our family, but at 29 (just shy of my 30th birthday) it was time. It was the right time. I had grown in ways that surprised me during the five years from when I met him to when we started our family. He had grown in ways that surprised him. We had all the trappings of being "adult": a home of our own, no debt save for the home, and good jobs (at least his). More than that, we had a desire to share ourselves in a deeper way. The prospect of "family" frightened us, more than once we re-thought our decision, but we knew we were--if not ready--then willing to make the commitment.

Maia has changed us in so many ways. We drove to San Francisco this weekend and while she slept in the back we took the winding back road to give her the opportunity to sleep more and chatted about how much she has changed us. Ten months into this parent thing and already we don't quite remember what it was like before Maia. She consumes us and at the same time brings a meaning to our lives that was missing. We feel part of something larger than our own small perception of things. We are enriched even as she demands every last moment from us.

She has also brought chaos into our once somewhat ordered lives. This is the struggle. It is so easy to let yourself fall into the "baby trap". She needs so much from me, it would be easy to ignore John and what he needs. It is easy to ignore myself and my needs. To balance being a parent, a mommy especially, and a partner is no small task. This is the splinter, the wedge, the shattering, an infant can cause on an unstable marriage. To forget about your partner and your relationship is to lose what makes you strong enough to be a parent in the first place.

Of course, Maia comes first these days. But we're working on making sure our relationship is a close second. It energizes us to spend time with each other, as grownups, as friends, as lovers still. I don't want to lose the part of me that needs my husband as more than just the "baby maker". He is still my world and that is precious. Maia didn't make him that way to me, either. She simply cemented our foundation and gave us another way to show the other how much we care.

She has changed us. We are blessed by her because we were blessed by having found each other first. She has changed us because now we have to work at what used to come easily. We have to be creative in the ways we grow our relationship. She has amplified all that is, at times, rough in our relationship but has also amplified all that works so very well for us.

I came to this place in a roundabout way. But the destination is one I would not change for the world.

Harvey

I love cats who play fetch. I've never had one of my own before.

Kittens and Babies

I meant to fold Maia's diapers this afternoon. I had the basket all ready and took it into her room. I put her on the floor and turned around to open the window and let some of the wonderful fresh spring breeze in. In that moment Harvey kitty came bounding in and jumped into the warm laundry. Maia squealed and began to take diapers and wipes out of the basket. Harvey then got in on the act and tossed out a couple of wipes using teeth and paws to his best advantage. Maia laughed at that an began putting back the items Harvey dropped out.

They then switched to Maia poking her little fingers into the basket (through the holes in the fake "weave") and Harvey swatting at them, then Harvey sticking his paw out of the basket (again, through the holes) and Maia touching it. Back and forth, with much enjoyment on both sides of the basket.

Who am I to stop the fun of small creatures? So the diapers remain unfolded.

Of All the Things I Should Be Doing...

blogging is not one of them.

I will let you know that the jinxing time has been lifted and the exciting news in our household: Maia is going to spend her first birthday in Zurich, Switzerland.

Before that we'll get to tour Paris and then spend a week in Geneva.

Good fortune is blessing us with a trip that piggy-backs on a work conference. Which means that one airfare is paid for and the really nice hotel in Geneva is covered as well.

I'm all smiles. Now to find places to sleep in Pairs and Zurich!

Oh and house cleaning because we're hosting TWO dinners this weekend.

Something Good is Gonna Happen

Plans are afoot! Action is being taken! Credit card numbers are being given at this very moment! But I don't want to jinx anything, so I'll get with the details when all the ducks are lined up.

Bad Parenting Skills

I just put on a video for Maia (at least it's a "Baby Signs" video so I can pretend she's learning from watching) so I could get some work done. She's entranced. I'm posting. Now to actual work...

Update:

15 minutes into the video and she'd lost interest...but I was able to get one school project (almost) done. She's happy banging on the coffee table with her drum stick from the floor.

Fate

I'm not sure what's been in the air this week, but nothing has been good. The week started poorly and never fully recovered. Despite what could have been several very nice days, I've been in a funk. John has been in a funk. Maia, well, she's Maia and while not in a funk, when we are it's not so much fun to attend to her needs.

Today could have been more of the same...but it wasn't.

Started off with:

Daylight savings time switch early. Needless loss of a perfectly good hour of sleep.

Rushing to get John to the airport for his 9:30 AM flight to Florida.

Said rushing caused me to back into the house while backing the car out of the driveway. With John watching me.

Watching my darling husband leave for the week, knowing I could have made a better send off for him, broke my heart.

Mis-judging the time I needed to be at a Mommy get-together to make baby food. Arriving on time and with oodles of food to puree only to find a note on the door saying--"Time change messed up schedule. Party canceled" and nothing else.

Grumbling that I had no one to play with on this gorgeous day.

When I arrived home from the failed baby food party--great idea and I hope to host one more details if I do--I found that Auntie Ari-belle's date had canceled on her and she was now free for the day. I looked at her and asked, "Beach?" Her answer, "Yes!" So off we, slowly, went. Things needed to be arranged with her hockey tickets. Brother came through with a friend and tickets were settled. Maia was fed, changed and packed. The car was loaded. Water bottles were filled and off we went to Capitola.

It was warm. And clear. And so beautiful by the water. Everyone was out and about. I despaired over finding a decent parking space as we had left the stroller at home...after all...we were adventuring light! Coming around the corner by the prime beach side parking I got stuck behind a giant Suburban (wait...that's redundant isn't it?) waiting for a family to pack up the mini-van full of small children and take their parking space. Great. Everything else was full so I decided to go around and head up the street, when what to my wondering eyes did appear but the Best Parking Space Ever. Right in front of the beach entrance. One side was nothing but curb so I could pull in close and leave plenty of room for getting Maia in and out of the car. Shiny, as Ari-belle would say.

We were out the door and feeding the meter while the Suburban was still waiting on the mini-van. I almost felt sorry for getting such a KILLER SPACE ahead of "my turn". Oh well. There are advantages to having a smaller car in the parking lot wars.

Walking across the sand was a joy. The breeze came up gently, softly, off the ocean. The sand was dry, but still cool from the recent rains. The beach was busy but there was plenty of good real estate left for us. Ari-belle, commenting on the temperature of the sand, said "Could this be any more perfect?" I thought not.

The grown-ups didn't have a blanket. Oh well. We found a nice spot by some rocks and driftwood to set up camp. I spread out a blanket for Maia pulled out my small collection of sand toys and proceeded to relax and enjoy Maia's play. She loved it. She loved pulling the sand out of the buckets. She loved digging her hands in the damp sand. She loved finding the toys I would bury for her. At one point she began to bury her Auntie's leg. She was smiling and squealing as she piled sand on to her pant leg.

We decided to take her down to the water's edge to see how she like the cold kiss of Northern California Pacific Ocean. She did fine. I danced her over the water as waves broke at my feet. She really loved being held in water that came up over her feet so she could bounce and splash. She got so excited by the splashing. We ran her into the small broken waves and ran her back to the shore again. Maia burried her little feet in the wet sand and giggled. She looked out to sea and smiled.

Back at the base camp, Maia decided she needed to eat so I fed her and then we played for a while longer. The day was getting long and the breeze was picking up so we decided to go before Maia got bored and fussy. We still had 1/2 hour on the meter, but it seemed a small price to pay for such a lovely afternoon.

In the car, Ari-belle and I decided we needed a little snack before going home, so we headed into Santa Cruz for dinner. Something pulled us toward a certain parking spot, a little off the beaten path. I was going to feed the meter when I noticed it still had time on it. 1/2 and hour. Call it what you will, I call it fate. Nothing wasted.

A lovely afternoon turned into a lovely evening filled with fun conversation with my sister and playing with the worlds best baby. I'm thinking this week is looking up from the last....except for missing my husband. But, I have his homecoming to look forward to...

(love you sweets. see you friday.)

Post #100

It's all about the pebble in the shoe, isn't it?

Ah Crap

Long day and I'm tired. Started out with too little sleep and too little water and too much fun over the weekend.

Running late for Maia's appointment, well, we needed to run one errand before the doctor and were late for that. No, it didn't involve coffee. Too bad about that.

Her appointment went fine. She's a healthy little girl. 18#2oz and 27 1/2" tall. 45th percentile in weight and 50th in height. Perfect. Dr. Rose did seem somewhat concerned about her lack of interest in food. She'd like us to 'practice' eating every day. So I need to set Miss M up in her chair and put food in front of her. Let her play. Dr. Rose said crackers were fine, bits of cheese, soft fruits and such were also good. Hopefully Maia will gain interest as we do this. We'll see.

The good doctor did mention that a sensitive gag reflex could be the cause her aversion to solid foods. She might just need to grow a bit more to become comfortable with things in her mouth.

On to the next stop--a meeting with my professor for my group project in Technical Writing. The pre-meeting with my group was great but I really felt that the actual meeting kind of spiraled down hill. Sigh. Maia can only be so patient. She was in a talking mood and chirping in her little high-pitched voice. I felt awful. Here we are trying to be professional and I can't even take notes. We were meeting in a lounge for English students located in the faculty office building. Her voice was going out into the hall and in the past there have been noise complaints about the lounge. I shut the door...but that's not allowed either. I felt very uncomfortable and wished I had had some place to leave her for this one meeting. Plus, campus politics are in full swing around my instructor and I think a small faux pas was made by meeting in the English lounge with him to begin with.

Sigh.

In the future, we're going to book private rooms in the library--which is part of the public library system and therefore open to non-students like Maia--to avoid some of these ackward moments.

Note: I have one cup of coffee and by the time we wrapped everything up it was almost two o'clock.

Walk back to the car. Where is the car? Crap. Parked in a one hour spot and I have been towed. That's what I get for not looking at the signs carefully enough. They're serious downtown. In the few minutes I used to call the very unhelpful towing company I saw another car get towed. I think they just run out there all day to make their money. Sigh.

So. What to do. Got no car. Got a tired baby. Got no car seat to put her in even if I had another car. Crap. Called brother and thankfully caught him before he left to get lunch. Met him at John's work--where the old car seat was hanging out in John's car. Strapped Maia into the Camero--plus the BOB stroller--not bad for a non-family car and took off for the tow yard.

The tow yard was as stereotypical as it could get: German shepherd, big guy in a grubby t-shirt yelling form the back office, tattooed drivers grinning at me as I tried to get the car back. When asked how I would pay for this, I asked "What credit cards do you take?" Answer: None I had on me. Checks? Nope. Cash? Yes. The bank is three blocks away and I'd better get back by 5 PM before the release fee went up by another $80.

Half an hour and $175 later I had my car again. The yard didn't even have real change for me...the last dollar was given to me in two quarters and five dimes. Even though there is a sign that says "We do not accept loose change as payment" Who has at least $175 in loose change? Had this been a real problem before? Did many people try to pay with loose change? Whatever.

Expensive lesson learned. No more parking downtown for me. Now I feel like crap and just want the week to start over. And it's Monday. And I have a variation on this theme to do tomorrow. Oh well. Tomorrow morning, I think it will be light rail and a Starbuck's black tea latte kind of day.

My Lips are Numb

So here I am after a wonderful day of friends and food food food....thinking that I've had my limit of drink but craving another beer. And instead of taking advantage of my husband or going wild on the dance floor I'm blogging.

To the fridge I go! Newcastle or Jumping Cow here I come!

Before I Forget!

Maia is now really and truly nine months old. Still cute as a bug, we haven't worn the baby off of her quite yet.

She still doesn't eat. Or crawl. Or roll on to her stomach. But she laughs like no ones business and loves to turn the pages of her books when we read. She is much more aware of her self and is beginning to have some pretty strong opinions. She wants to do what she wants to do.

Her latest game is to throw herself backward from a sitting position. When we play it on the couch, I put a pillow behind her and she just laughs as she throws her little head back. She does it in the Exersaucer as well. She's so much fun.

Now, off to bed before she awakens and needs me. Sigh. No rest for the Internet addicted.

Of Course, There's Always MEAT

BBQ is in the works for tomorrow. Ribs are baked off, just waiting to be finished on the grill. Potato salad is in the fridge. Gotta do chickens and cornbread in the AM, then get the veggie platter ready. Not too many snacks. I tend to over do appies and then nobody wants to eat the food food we've made.

I also have a hankering to bake a Red Velvet cake. Found a recipe that doesn't seem like it'd be too dry...a problem with the Velvet cake. It's pretty but can be bland. We'll see if I can get it whipped up.

Staying up and goofing on the Internet is not helping my cause.

Good night, then!

Horn Tootin'

Congratulations!

Your excellent academic record has earned you recognition as a Dean's Scholar in the College of Humanities and the Arts.

All of the San Jose State University Dean's Scholars will be formally awarded at the 45th Annual Honors Convocation on Friday, April 27, 2007.

Yeah me. Two semesters of school and I get to be feted. Least you think I'm some kind of super cool school girl-- I'm not the President's Scholar...I don't have a 4.o.

Of course, this won't get me out of poopie diaper duty. It's good to have a reality check in place.

The Good Life

Yesterday on my afternoon radio fixation there were back-to-back calls from women who were feeling that being a stay-at-home-mom wasn't fulfilling and that they somehow were lost as individuals. While I can understand the sentiment, like on Tuesday when I became the Queen of Poo and that was the highlight of my day, I really can't agree that this job isn't fulfilling.

When I was working, I never heard the words that I heard from my husband last night from an employer: "You make me want to come home at night" meaning; I was a good thing to look forward to. No boss of mine, even my favorite ones whom I loved, thought of me as a reason to come to work and nor did I consider them a reason to work. When I was working, I never had someone I was training or responsible for look at me with the absolute adoration I see in my small daughter. When I was working I never felt as much satisfaction at the end of my day as I do now when I get to snuggle with Maia before she falls asleep then I get to snuggle with John as we chat and watch TV. I never felt so glad for another day, nor did I have as many reasons to get up and get going in the morning as I do now. When I was working, my opinions didn't really count as much as I was asked for them. When I working, I was a small part of a larger picture. Now I am a large part of an important endeavor; running a family and raising a child.

I have never done anything greater nor have I ever enjoyed a job more.

This morning I washed up the dishes from last night while Maia played in the living room. I heard some giggling and banging and decided to check it out. Harvey-cat had crawled into Maia's toy box and Maia was patting his tail and laughing. She started shaking a maraca and Harvey just looked on. It hit me then that this is the good life.

It can be boring at times. There are parts that feel isolating. At three am listening to a baby cry can make you question your decision to disrupt your life so much. Any job can be like this, but so few jobs offer the rewards that mothering has given me. I don't feel as though I've lost myself, on the contrary, I feel as though I have finally found myself. And it is good.