Tolstoy Revisited

Monday I gave Maia a bath. We do that on occasion. She loves the big tub and loves to splash. It's also a nice way to kill some time before bed when I'd rather play with her than cook dinner or pick up toys.

We like bubbles. Who doesn't? I usually squeeze in a good portion of Honeysuckle baby wash and let the bubbles pile up. This evening, the bubbles were especially high and piled at the tap end of the tub. I put Maia in the middle and she immedately headed for the tower of bubbles. She went in for a combined bubble smack tub splash and ended up with bubbles all over her face.

The results were rather amusing. She looked just like this:




I really expected her to start dictating "War and Peace" revisions at me. Her eyes were all big and serious, her hair sparse and wild. Dense, dripping, white bubbles forming her beard.

Come to think of it, my Mom has always claimed some Russian blood on her father's side of the family...

*sigh*

Sometimes I'd rather be fat than diet. Make that "most times"...

Downward-Facing Baby

I took a yoga class (for credit) last Spring while pregnant. My teacher was a very old guard hippie yoga guy who discovered yoga while attending SF state during the 60's. The highlight of one of his speeches was how yoga allowed him to make it through a three-month prison sentence.

He had his own yoga instruction book. It included several picture of his (then) very young daughter in various "natural" yoga poses. He said that babies and small children instinctivly preformed yoga because of the ways it helps strengthen the body.

OK. I get it. It was kind of out there for me, but the pictures were cute and he was a very good instructor.

Today Maia perfected Downward Facing Dog.

Just like the picture. She had her feet planted, head down, arms out-stretched, butt up and out. Perfect. She can't crawl, but darn if she can't do yoga.

What is it About Costco?

Really. Another Costco parking lot story:

We went a bit nuts at Costco Sunday and made a large, impulsive purchase. We bought a bike trailer for Miss M. We've been debating the merits of bike seats vs. trailers for a while now and had decided to go with a front-attaching bike seat when we came across the trailer again.

So we went trailer. It fits two kids (planning for the future), will allow Miss M to sleep if needs be on a longer ride which also gives us more flexiblity in our travels--and more time which is good if you're a slow biker mommy like myself. If John hauls it, it might actually slow him down to my pace while keeping his heart rate up. Good things all around. The trailer also has storage room in the back, great for trips to the farmers market, or grocery store. Best of all, we bought the style that converts to a stroller so we have a way to roll her about once we get to our destination.

It just seemed like what we really needed. Plus, it's Costco with their very liberal return policy if it doesn't work.

Back at the car, we realized just how big the dang thing is in the box. The BOB stroller was already in residence in the trunk of the Jetta. Plus we had our normal load of groceries and a looming trip to TJ's for more. Oh. And a suitcase. John is headed for Germany and needed one...that's another story.

So my super engineer husband is working hard to fit everything in the car. The trailer mostly fits in the trunk and the groceries fit around it. The BOB has the wheels popped off it and fits in the back seat. John is busy securing the trunk lid with a length of rope when the owner of the car next to us shows up with her two enormus carts of Costco goodies.

The car next to us is an extended Suburban. A monster of an SUV. That had been parked too close to us on the drivers side. That John had been bumping (with his body) in hopes of setting off an alarm system previous to the owner coming back. So the women in the Suburban unload groceries while John is tying down the lid of our nice little sedan. As the driver is getting ready to climb into her monster car she turns to me, looks at Maia and says: "One more and you'll be driving the Suburban too. That's just the way it is."

Ummm. OK. No.

I'm not sure I really understood what she meant. Yeah, our car was full, but it's not a normal occurance. If she didn't want the monster car, there are options out there that provide room, safety and fuel economy. And just because I live in the Valley and have a child doesn't mean I MUST want or need an SUV.

Please.

I'm waiting on my station wagon, thank you very much. Diesel. 40+ miles to the gallon. And I'll be able to out race that Suburban any day of the week.

Musing on Marriage

I've been thinking about marriage and the changes children bring to it. I've been thinking about the choices I've made and where they have lead me. I've been thinking about my baby and how she has changed me and my relationship with John and how we've become stronger--because if we didn't I could see how we could have been splintered apart. If you're not secure in your partnership before the baby arrives, he/she will only serve to drive the wedge deeper.

I'm sure that in some cases a baby makes a couple step up to the plate, so to speak, (I have a shining example of that in a friend of mine) but a baby is not a tool to test the resolve of your relationship with.

One of the greatest pieces of advise my mom gave me was this: "Marriage doesn't change a relationship, but children do". I am glad that I heeded it and waited until this point in my life to have children.

I met John at 25--well, just shy of my 25th birthday. I was careening out of control. I had the rock and roll lifestyle, sans heroin. I didn't have a clue what I wanted from life, I had subjugated myself into the image I thought others around me wanted. I lived through people, not for people. I was unbelievably selfish as I think most 20-25 year olds are. I was getting set to move out of town, across the state on a whim. Just because I could and I didn't want to be where I was anymore. I didn't want to be myself anymore.

Did I mention that I'd also just left an incredibly failed marriage? One with no children and of that I am grateful because we would have been awful parents at that time in our collective life.

Not an auspicious beginning for John and I. But, as Liz Phair sang in her earthy-ethereal way:

...But something about just being with you
Slapped me right in the face, nearly broke me in two
It's a mark I've taken heart
And I know I will carry it with me for a long, long time...

What came next was four years of dating and soul-searching and coming to terms with who we were as a couple. For me, it was coming to terms with who I was and what I needed on my own in order to be able to give of myself completely. If you don't know yourself, you can not know or love deeply another. It just doesn't work. You become an empty shell in that relationship and eventually break.

I have to give credit to my sometimes long-suffering then boyfriend. He encouraged in me in ways no one had ever before. Do you know it was he who suggested I look into the restaurant business which lead to cooking school? He helped me develop a passion and a career out of something I didn't think I was good enough to do. He helped by encouraging, by cajoling, by challenging me to seek more from myself than I thought was there.

I knew he was the kind of man who would make a great dad.

We didn't wait long after being married to start our family, but at 29 (just shy of my 30th birthday) it was time. It was the right time. I had grown in ways that surprised me during the five years from when I met him to when we started our family. He had grown in ways that surprised him. We had all the trappings of being "adult": a home of our own, no debt save for the home, and good jobs (at least his). More than that, we had a desire to share ourselves in a deeper way. The prospect of "family" frightened us, more than once we re-thought our decision, but we knew we were--if not ready--then willing to make the commitment.

Maia has changed us in so many ways. We drove to San Francisco this weekend and while she slept in the back we took the winding back road to give her the opportunity to sleep more and chatted about how much she has changed us. Ten months into this parent thing and already we don't quite remember what it was like before Maia. She consumes us and at the same time brings a meaning to our lives that was missing. We feel part of something larger than our own small perception of things. We are enriched even as she demands every last moment from us.

She has also brought chaos into our once somewhat ordered lives. This is the struggle. It is so easy to let yourself fall into the "baby trap". She needs so much from me, it would be easy to ignore John and what he needs. It is easy to ignore myself and my needs. To balance being a parent, a mommy especially, and a partner is no small task. This is the splinter, the wedge, the shattering, an infant can cause on an unstable marriage. To forget about your partner and your relationship is to lose what makes you strong enough to be a parent in the first place.

Of course, Maia comes first these days. But we're working on making sure our relationship is a close second. It energizes us to spend time with each other, as grownups, as friends, as lovers still. I don't want to lose the part of me that needs my husband as more than just the "baby maker". He is still my world and that is precious. Maia didn't make him that way to me, either. She simply cemented our foundation and gave us another way to show the other how much we care.

She has changed us. We are blessed by her because we were blessed by having found each other first. She has changed us because now we have to work at what used to come easily. We have to be creative in the ways we grow our relationship. She has amplified all that is, at times, rough in our relationship but has also amplified all that works so very well for us.

I came to this place in a roundabout way. But the destination is one I would not change for the world.

Harvey

I love cats who play fetch. I've never had one of my own before.

Kittens and Babies

I meant to fold Maia's diapers this afternoon. I had the basket all ready and took it into her room. I put her on the floor and turned around to open the window and let some of the wonderful fresh spring breeze in. In that moment Harvey kitty came bounding in and jumped into the warm laundry. Maia squealed and began to take diapers and wipes out of the basket. Harvey then got in on the act and tossed out a couple of wipes using teeth and paws to his best advantage. Maia laughed at that an began putting back the items Harvey dropped out.

They then switched to Maia poking her little fingers into the basket (through the holes in the fake "weave") and Harvey swatting at them, then Harvey sticking his paw out of the basket (again, through the holes) and Maia touching it. Back and forth, with much enjoyment on both sides of the basket.

Who am I to stop the fun of small creatures? So the diapers remain unfolded.

Of All the Things I Should Be Doing...

blogging is not one of them.

I will let you know that the jinxing time has been lifted and the exciting news in our household: Maia is going to spend her first birthday in Zurich, Switzerland.

Before that we'll get to tour Paris and then spend a week in Geneva.

Good fortune is blessing us with a trip that piggy-backs on a work conference. Which means that one airfare is paid for and the really nice hotel in Geneva is covered as well.

I'm all smiles. Now to find places to sleep in Pairs and Zurich!

Oh and house cleaning because we're hosting TWO dinners this weekend.

Something Good is Gonna Happen

Plans are afoot! Action is being taken! Credit card numbers are being given at this very moment! But I don't want to jinx anything, so I'll get with the details when all the ducks are lined up.

Bad Parenting Skills

I just put on a video for Maia (at least it's a "Baby Signs" video so I can pretend she's learning from watching) so I could get some work done. She's entranced. I'm posting. Now to actual work...

Update:

15 minutes into the video and she'd lost interest...but I was able to get one school project (almost) done. She's happy banging on the coffee table with her drum stick from the floor.

Fate

I'm not sure what's been in the air this week, but nothing has been good. The week started poorly and never fully recovered. Despite what could have been several very nice days, I've been in a funk. John has been in a funk. Maia, well, she's Maia and while not in a funk, when we are it's not so much fun to attend to her needs.

Today could have been more of the same...but it wasn't.

Started off with:

Daylight savings time switch early. Needless loss of a perfectly good hour of sleep.

Rushing to get John to the airport for his 9:30 AM flight to Florida.

Said rushing caused me to back into the house while backing the car out of the driveway. With John watching me.

Watching my darling husband leave for the week, knowing I could have made a better send off for him, broke my heart.

Mis-judging the time I needed to be at a Mommy get-together to make baby food. Arriving on time and with oodles of food to puree only to find a note on the door saying--"Time change messed up schedule. Party canceled" and nothing else.

Grumbling that I had no one to play with on this gorgeous day.

When I arrived home from the failed baby food party--great idea and I hope to host one more details if I do--I found that Auntie Ari-belle's date had canceled on her and she was now free for the day. I looked at her and asked, "Beach?" Her answer, "Yes!" So off we, slowly, went. Things needed to be arranged with her hockey tickets. Brother came through with a friend and tickets were settled. Maia was fed, changed and packed. The car was loaded. Water bottles were filled and off we went to Capitola.

It was warm. And clear. And so beautiful by the water. Everyone was out and about. I despaired over finding a decent parking space as we had left the stroller at home...after all...we were adventuring light! Coming around the corner by the prime beach side parking I got stuck behind a giant Suburban (wait...that's redundant isn't it?) waiting for a family to pack up the mini-van full of small children and take their parking space. Great. Everything else was full so I decided to go around and head up the street, when what to my wondering eyes did appear but the Best Parking Space Ever. Right in front of the beach entrance. One side was nothing but curb so I could pull in close and leave plenty of room for getting Maia in and out of the car. Shiny, as Ari-belle would say.

We were out the door and feeding the meter while the Suburban was still waiting on the mini-van. I almost felt sorry for getting such a KILLER SPACE ahead of "my turn". Oh well. There are advantages to having a smaller car in the parking lot wars.

Walking across the sand was a joy. The breeze came up gently, softly, off the ocean. The sand was dry, but still cool from the recent rains. The beach was busy but there was plenty of good real estate left for us. Ari-belle, commenting on the temperature of the sand, said "Could this be any more perfect?" I thought not.

The grown-ups didn't have a blanket. Oh well. We found a nice spot by some rocks and driftwood to set up camp. I spread out a blanket for Maia pulled out my small collection of sand toys and proceeded to relax and enjoy Maia's play. She loved it. She loved pulling the sand out of the buckets. She loved digging her hands in the damp sand. She loved finding the toys I would bury for her. At one point she began to bury her Auntie's leg. She was smiling and squealing as she piled sand on to her pant leg.

We decided to take her down to the water's edge to see how she like the cold kiss of Northern California Pacific Ocean. She did fine. I danced her over the water as waves broke at my feet. She really loved being held in water that came up over her feet so she could bounce and splash. She got so excited by the splashing. We ran her into the small broken waves and ran her back to the shore again. Maia burried her little feet in the wet sand and giggled. She looked out to sea and smiled.

Back at the base camp, Maia decided she needed to eat so I fed her and then we played for a while longer. The day was getting long and the breeze was picking up so we decided to go before Maia got bored and fussy. We still had 1/2 hour on the meter, but it seemed a small price to pay for such a lovely afternoon.

In the car, Ari-belle and I decided we needed a little snack before going home, so we headed into Santa Cruz for dinner. Something pulled us toward a certain parking spot, a little off the beaten path. I was going to feed the meter when I noticed it still had time on it. 1/2 and hour. Call it what you will, I call it fate. Nothing wasted.

A lovely afternoon turned into a lovely evening filled with fun conversation with my sister and playing with the worlds best baby. I'm thinking this week is looking up from the last....except for missing my husband. But, I have his homecoming to look forward to...

(love you sweets. see you friday.)

Post #100

It's all about the pebble in the shoe, isn't it?

Ah Crap

Long day and I'm tired. Started out with too little sleep and too little water and too much fun over the weekend.

Running late for Maia's appointment, well, we needed to run one errand before the doctor and were late for that. No, it didn't involve coffee. Too bad about that.

Her appointment went fine. She's a healthy little girl. 18#2oz and 27 1/2" tall. 45th percentile in weight and 50th in height. Perfect. Dr. Rose did seem somewhat concerned about her lack of interest in food. She'd like us to 'practice' eating every day. So I need to set Miss M up in her chair and put food in front of her. Let her play. Dr. Rose said crackers were fine, bits of cheese, soft fruits and such were also good. Hopefully Maia will gain interest as we do this. We'll see.

The good doctor did mention that a sensitive gag reflex could be the cause her aversion to solid foods. She might just need to grow a bit more to become comfortable with things in her mouth.

On to the next stop--a meeting with my professor for my group project in Technical Writing. The pre-meeting with my group was great but I really felt that the actual meeting kind of spiraled down hill. Sigh. Maia can only be so patient. She was in a talking mood and chirping in her little high-pitched voice. I felt awful. Here we are trying to be professional and I can't even take notes. We were meeting in a lounge for English students located in the faculty office building. Her voice was going out into the hall and in the past there have been noise complaints about the lounge. I shut the door...but that's not allowed either. I felt very uncomfortable and wished I had had some place to leave her for this one meeting. Plus, campus politics are in full swing around my instructor and I think a small faux pas was made by meeting in the English lounge with him to begin with.

Sigh.

In the future, we're going to book private rooms in the library--which is part of the public library system and therefore open to non-students like Maia--to avoid some of these ackward moments.

Note: I have one cup of coffee and by the time we wrapped everything up it was almost two o'clock.

Walk back to the car. Where is the car? Crap. Parked in a one hour spot and I have been towed. That's what I get for not looking at the signs carefully enough. They're serious downtown. In the few minutes I used to call the very unhelpful towing company I saw another car get towed. I think they just run out there all day to make their money. Sigh.

So. What to do. Got no car. Got a tired baby. Got no car seat to put her in even if I had another car. Crap. Called brother and thankfully caught him before he left to get lunch. Met him at John's work--where the old car seat was hanging out in John's car. Strapped Maia into the Camero--plus the BOB stroller--not bad for a non-family car and took off for the tow yard.

The tow yard was as stereotypical as it could get: German shepherd, big guy in a grubby t-shirt yelling form the back office, tattooed drivers grinning at me as I tried to get the car back. When asked how I would pay for this, I asked "What credit cards do you take?" Answer: None I had on me. Checks? Nope. Cash? Yes. The bank is three blocks away and I'd better get back by 5 PM before the release fee went up by another $80.

Half an hour and $175 later I had my car again. The yard didn't even have real change for me...the last dollar was given to me in two quarters and five dimes. Even though there is a sign that says "We do not accept loose change as payment" Who has at least $175 in loose change? Had this been a real problem before? Did many people try to pay with loose change? Whatever.

Expensive lesson learned. No more parking downtown for me. Now I feel like crap and just want the week to start over. And it's Monday. And I have a variation on this theme to do tomorrow. Oh well. Tomorrow morning, I think it will be light rail and a Starbuck's black tea latte kind of day.

My Lips are Numb

So here I am after a wonderful day of friends and food food food....thinking that I've had my limit of drink but craving another beer. And instead of taking advantage of my husband or going wild on the dance floor I'm blogging.

To the fridge I go! Newcastle or Jumping Cow here I come!

Before I Forget!

Maia is now really and truly nine months old. Still cute as a bug, we haven't worn the baby off of her quite yet.

She still doesn't eat. Or crawl. Or roll on to her stomach. But she laughs like no ones business and loves to turn the pages of her books when we read. She is much more aware of her self and is beginning to have some pretty strong opinions. She wants to do what she wants to do.

Her latest game is to throw herself backward from a sitting position. When we play it on the couch, I put a pillow behind her and she just laughs as she throws her little head back. She does it in the Exersaucer as well. She's so much fun.

Now, off to bed before she awakens and needs me. Sigh. No rest for the Internet addicted.

Of Course, There's Always MEAT

BBQ is in the works for tomorrow. Ribs are baked off, just waiting to be finished on the grill. Potato salad is in the fridge. Gotta do chickens and cornbread in the AM, then get the veggie platter ready. Not too many snacks. I tend to over do appies and then nobody wants to eat the food food we've made.

I also have a hankering to bake a Red Velvet cake. Found a recipe that doesn't seem like it'd be too dry...a problem with the Velvet cake. It's pretty but can be bland. We'll see if I can get it whipped up.

Staying up and goofing on the Internet is not helping my cause.

Good night, then!

Horn Tootin'

Congratulations!

Your excellent academic record has earned you recognition as a Dean's Scholar in the College of Humanities and the Arts.

All of the San Jose State University Dean's Scholars will be formally awarded at the 45th Annual Honors Convocation on Friday, April 27, 2007.

Yeah me. Two semesters of school and I get to be feted. Least you think I'm some kind of super cool school girl-- I'm not the President's Scholar...I don't have a 4.o.

Of course, this won't get me out of poopie diaper duty. It's good to have a reality check in place.

The Good Life

Yesterday on my afternoon radio fixation there were back-to-back calls from women who were feeling that being a stay-at-home-mom wasn't fulfilling and that they somehow were lost as individuals. While I can understand the sentiment, like on Tuesday when I became the Queen of Poo and that was the highlight of my day, I really can't agree that this job isn't fulfilling.

When I was working, I never heard the words that I heard from my husband last night from an employer: "You make me want to come home at night" meaning; I was a good thing to look forward to. No boss of mine, even my favorite ones whom I loved, thought of me as a reason to come to work and nor did I consider them a reason to work. When I was working, I never had someone I was training or responsible for look at me with the absolute adoration I see in my small daughter. When I was working I never felt as much satisfaction at the end of my day as I do now when I get to snuggle with Maia before she falls asleep then I get to snuggle with John as we chat and watch TV. I never felt so glad for another day, nor did I have as many reasons to get up and get going in the morning as I do now. When I was working, my opinions didn't really count as much as I was asked for them. When I working, I was a small part of a larger picture. Now I am a large part of an important endeavor; running a family and raising a child.

I have never done anything greater nor have I ever enjoyed a job more.

This morning I washed up the dishes from last night while Maia played in the living room. I heard some giggling and banging and decided to check it out. Harvey-cat had crawled into Maia's toy box and Maia was patting his tail and laughing. She started shaking a maraca and Harvey just looked on. It hit me then that this is the good life.

It can be boring at times. There are parts that feel isolating. At three am listening to a baby cry can make you question your decision to disrupt your life so much. Any job can be like this, but so few jobs offer the rewards that mothering has given me. I don't feel as though I've lost myself, on the contrary, I feel as though I have finally found myself. And it is good.

Sunday Night Dinner

The rain came in today. It started sometime in the wee early morning hours and continued off and on all day. We had planned on going to the Farmer's Market in the Cat's. It was to be the center of eating for the week, so we didn't let the wet deter us.

What did stop us was the grumpy sleepy baby. Maia has been a grumpy baby for days now. Her schedule is all off and she's just having a hard time and I don't really know why. So when she fell asleep in the car on the way over to the market, John volunteered to stay in the car with her and let her sleep.

I ran through the market in the drizzle, picked up our supplies and the most amazing oranges in the world: Pink Navels. Sweet, crisp, with a slight bite to it. Yum. I get tired of oranges right around this time of year and pink navels have solved that problem for me.

The rain continued and we didn't do much else today. I got restless, Maia remained bored and cranky. I decided to cook a big ol' Sunday night dinner to alleviate my boredom at least (house work and things that really need to get done, like laundry, don't count as boredom alleviators).

Oven fried chicken. Mashed potatoes. Gravy. Rainbow chard with garlic and bacon. Salad. Biscuits. Beer. Yes please. I had the oven going, the stove top poppin', bowls and utensils piling up in the sink and Maia asleep in her swing. I cooked for an hour and a half and managed to get things to the plate still hot. It was a veritable feast. If it weren't for the Lenten fast...which I admittedly stretched tonight...I would have made a cobbler for dessert. But that would have been going to far, for sure.

Nothing says "comfort food" like an old fashioned Sunday dinner.

In other news, I got a kick-butt new haircut on Saturday. Three hours of a cut and color. I went red red red with bright red chunky highlights. And short. I love my new funky red short hair.

Nothing says "here I come" like a new haircut. Watch out.

Smile

There is nothing more satisfying than making a baby laugh for five minutes straight, to the point of tears, by just being silly while you get her ready for bed.

Nothing like seeing your child smile that wide mouth, crinkle-eyed smile and know that she's doing it for you.

On an only slightly less satisfying topic, I'm down 2.5 lbs even after my weekend of eating out. Hopefully Lent will help me pick up the pace. And more walking. Lots more walking.

Fat Thursday

Yeah, Mardi Gras was Tuesday and I did my very best to celebrate in style. Fat Tuesday is the day set aside to clean out your cupboards before the month long Lent. Eat up the "fat" that you couldn't have during the fast. Pancakes are a traditional meal, but I wanted to have a more festive fat dinner...enter the Hanukkah (another holiday dedicated to fat) tradition of deep frying. I made beignets. French style. Pate a choux balls dropped in hot oil and fried until puffy and golden. I was making a dinner dish, so I made savory beignets with black pepper and rosemary. And whole wheat flour, but that's a given because it's the only flour in my house, much to my brother's chagrin.

Can I say oh. my. taste buds. They were wonderful. We had, on the side--because the beignets were the main attraction--blackened salmon, sweet balsamic vegetables and a huge green salad. Oh. Jalapeno mint jelly for the beignets. We had to. Dessert? Naaa...just more pastry.

Even though Lent began on Wednesday, John fried up the last of the batter for breakfast so we could enjoy beignets and coffee. Sprinkled with the merest whisper of powdered sugar they were divine. I will say that the French do many things right when it comes to food, and fried dough has to be at the top of the list.

Although I am not, nor have I ever been Catholic, I do on occasion keep a Lenten fast. I didn't last year because of pregnancy, but am this year. I think a certain amount of sacrifice is good for the soul. Because I am among the food-hedonists, sacrificing a foodie vice gives me time to reflect on just what it is that I eat. And what I should eat. And how certain foods affect me. In any case, I am, again, giving up the refined flour/sugar/empty carbs that seem to draw me in as soon as I come around them. Beer is an exception. I had over a year of sacrifice to teach me the meaning of beer to my life. But I will be giving up butter enriched foods as well...so no whole wheat pie crusts...that's cheating.

I've already broken Lent. But at least I thought about it. I'll do better. Starting now. Has anyone seen Chocolat? The perfect foodie-Lent movie.

What, if anything, are you doing for Lent? It doesn't have to be food related, it's about preparing for the sacrifice of Easter. Or, the sacrifice that leads to Easter, to be more precise. I'd like to know who else believes that a little restraint is good for the soul.

Massive Missive

So much for resolutions...this past extended weekend was nuts. John and I had house guests in and out beginning late Wednesday night and extending through Monday night. I could make one of those schedule graphs of the ins and outs but it would only make your head spin. It wasn't just one group coming and staying for that length of time...it was various configurations of very different guests ebbing and flowing through the days and nights.

So...no posting. Not much walking, but lots of activity.

To note: TEETH. Yes, there is a God and He has granted a small reprieve in the teething department. One sharp little pearl popped up Friday, the next was visible by Saturday. Maia doesn't like to show off her new possessions. The grandmas were kind of disappointed in the lack of visual confirmation. But mama is happy 'cause I get to make her crinkle-nose laugh with her tongue up and see those specks of hard-earned white.

John spent the weekend putting in our new dishwasher. It's a beaut. All stainless and shiny. It should have taken an afternoon, including putting in the new water filtration system, but it took two days of hard labor. Bless the previous owner of our house, Contractor Steve, as he decided to install new cabinets and the old dishwasher THEN redo the floors. He added an inch and a half of floor height. This translates to the old dishwasher being literally stuck in its hole. John had to take a saws-all and a circular saw and cut the dang thing in half to get it out. Oy. Our back yard looks very po' white trash at this moment with scattered mangled pieces of dishwasher strewn about. The plan is to chop it up into little bitty scraps and slowly get rid of it in our city garbage can. Instead of paying the high dump fees to get it gone in one fell swoop. I kind of like the sneaky way, you know? We got rid of about a ton of concrete rubble in this manner a couple of years back. Not to mention all the scrap from the summer roofing project.

I'll link to pictures of the destruction after he posts them.

You know your in a new, dare I say Adult, phase of life when these new appliance additions excite you. The last time I got this worked up in love with machinery was when we upgraded the clothes washer. The dishwasher is even better. Last night we got to run it for the first time and I wanted to see how well it actually worked. So, lasagna for dinner. Dinner guests. Six cheesy plates. One saucy cheesy lasagna pan. Oatmeal bowls from breakfast with dried on oatmeal starch. Serving spoons with only the merest splash of rinse water applied to them. All in the dishwasher. Soap. Run. Wait and see.

Opened it up this morning and was floored. Everything was spotless and shiny. The glass lasagna pan sparkled. The silverware gleamed. The oatmeal bowls shone. I swooned. You have to understand that the old washer was a complete POS. I had to scrub dishes before putting them in. With our hard water, we would have to pour in about a cup of vinegar in the middle of each cycle in order to avoid a nasty chalky film coating everything. For the past three weeks I’ve been so fed up, I’ve simply been washing dishes by hand. And let me share a little secret with you…I hate washing dishes. I used to cry when my mom made me do them. I avoid them like plague. I would rather do any other nasty, dirty, chore in the house to not do dishes. And yet, there I was at the end of my rope, washing dishes to avoid the even worse prospect of rewashing dishes.

Come to think of it, I’m kind of glad that crap-trap is in pieces all over the back lawn…and I might be an appliance geek. Lord help you if I begin on the Italian range John and I saw on Monday...rrrrraaaawwwwrrrr.

At this moment, yes, this very 10 PM moment, John is putting the new entertainment unit in place and re-hooking all the cables and boxes, with their little glowing lights, together. Sunday before last, Maia began reaching for one very important glowing light, the on off switch for the box that serves as our total entertainment (plus Internet) brain/hub. It just happens to be at a crawling-poke-my-finger-into-everything level. She missed, because she can’t actually crawl yet, but she then took a small header into the corner of the box. An hour later, we were at IKEA looking for a new TV stand with doors.

It’s nice. It’s dark which matches the new ceiling fans (Home Depot) and new side table (also from IKEA). But it doesn’t match the old coffee table. That table is slated to be replaced by an ottoman soon. So we’re updating the whole living room in order to baby safe it. Oh well. Had to happen sooner or later. If John’s not careful, I’m going to have the new couch delivered while he’s a work…

Harvey is doing well. We are still in love with him and at least two house guests threatened to take him home with them. That's two more than threatened to take Maia home. Hmmm.

We're trying to change Maia's schedule, and I'm trying to get more sleep so I'm going to wrap this up. Sorry for the poetic waxing on mechanical things and living arrangements...I'll find some keen insights on the human condition for next time.

Valentine's Revisited

Yesterday, being Valentine's Day, I went to Costco to buy a...water filtration system. Didn't see that one coming did ya? I had to note the kiss kiss heart day madness. It was about noon and men were streaming out by the dozens holding dozens and dozens of flowers. Mostly red roses, natch. Costco had a HUGE floral display at the front of the store so one could just grab and go. There was even a dedicated cash register for flowers only. I guess it's like this every year, but I've never had the occasion to witness it before.

Two people to make note of:

The woman behind me getting ready for what I can only assume to be a really hot date. She was purchasing a bottle of nice red wine and a bottle of Patron tequila. You go with yo bad self!

The man in the parking lot in front of the store with a big box of long stemmed roses...which he proceeded to angrily throw into the garbage can, then throw the box on the ground and stomp on it before stalking away.

Also of note: The man who came up after the roses were trashed and fished them out of the garbage. Happy Valentine's sweetie!

As for my Valentine and I? We did what we usually do. We stayed in. I made a nice romantic dinner. We had a cheese course to begin and several bite sized decadent desserts to finish. We drank a bottle of our honeymoon Riesling. We passed out on the couch from fatty-food coma. It was grand.

I hope yours was as lovely.

The Incredible Maia

The Scene:

A cute little baby girl all in pink and red hearts laying on the bed. In her hand, a tissue. She looks up at her adoring mama and with a primal, animal, guttural ggggrrrraaawwwlllll*, rips the tissue in half.

I couldn't stop laughing.

*I wish I had a way to post her "grawl"...it's just the funniest thing right now and she does it constantly.

It's Natural

Yesterday evening Maia was hanging out with me in her Hip Hammock as I picked up my monthly bulk/natural food order. She'd been pretty cranky all day--from interrupted sleep, no real naps and those darn teeth.

As I went to look over some papayas, a loud, long pppppppbbbbbtttttttttttt issued from the back end of my daughter. She then gave me the biggest smile I've seen in days.

Watch Out, It's Harvey Danger!

Business up front:

No post on Thursday because of massive homework. Yeah, time to get time management happening in my house. No walking either. Rained out.

Yesterday? Well...walked 4.43 mi in the rain to and from class. Did no walking with Maia. Again, rain. No post? Lazy, and I had my monthly waxing appointment that went kind of late then the baby needed to be coddled to bed and then I made an ambitious stir-fry dinner that, for once, didn't involve frozen vegetables. But it wasn't done until after 9 pm. Then we watched a movie. A not so good movie, but it was an actual movie. Then bed. After sleeping on the couch for a couple of hours. It was one of those nights.

*note* I like sleeping on the couch. It's comfortable for a few hours and different and I don't get to sleep there often. John kind of gets annoyed by this habit of mine, but I sleep on the couch when he's late on the computer or doing other stuff late at night that doesn't involve sleeping in the bed with me.

Anyway, the real news for this post are the events of today. Drum roll please...We Have a KITTEN!

We welcomed our newest little guy into the family this afternoon. He came to us with the name Cary Grant...but he's now known as Harvey. I love old fashioned names, especially on animals. We kind of name animals in random ways. John and I just toss names about until one sticks. This time it was Harvey. We were going over our grandfather's names. I hope my dad doesn't mind, it's his dad's name. On our side, my last boy was named after a band and so is Harvey. The Harvey Danger kitty...'cause boy's have that danger streak in them, you know?

He is as sweet as hoped for. Our rescue worker brought him over in a cat carrier and he didn't have such a good ride over. He seemed a touch out of it after he arrived, so we put him in the bathroom with his litter box to get acquainted with the most important feature in the house.

As soon as we let him out he began the hunt for love. He found it in John's lap for a moment. Then he found my hand and kept his little head butting into it. Then he discovered little Maia's outstretched hand...and Maia discovered his very fluffy tail. What could have been a bad meeting turned out just fine, Harvey kind of looked disgusted and as soon as he could be free he moved few feet out of her range. No hissing or scratching. I think we're off to a good start.

We'll have pictures posted soon at: http://foobert.com/gal/main.php

It was also the much fun pizza night over here. Brother and I made six pizzas for five people. We're all in starchy-fat comas now. Harvey is awake and well and running around...somewhere. Maia is asleep and I'm tired. Two late nights in a row do that to me...and it's looking like a third. Sigh. John and siblings cleaned the kitchen so at least that's done and there is talk of going to breakfast in the morning. Yum. And if there's no rain, we'll hit the farmer's market and get some super fresh veggies for next week's snacking pleasure.

I'm going to find that cat for a last pet session and head off to sleep. My house is full of siblings and my dear husband and our sweet little daughter and now our adorable fur ball. It's full of love and so is my heart right now.

I Haven't Been this Tired...

...since I was pregnant. Hmmm....is my body telling me something? I think not. Unless I like the less than 1% chance. If I am it's time for Vegas, baby.

What it is probably telling me is I need to drink more water and less beer. Whatever. I'm adjusting to my new food intake program well. I actually measure food and today I turned down eat-out food in favor of making myself lunch. Yeah me. I bought a new light cookbook; that makes two in the house so I should not run out of dinner ideas. Of course, tonight is out of my own little head: spicy salmon, twice baked sweet potatoes and salad. I think I'm hungry. I like waiting to eat with hubby but sometimes it gets hard to wait when he's so busy/late. Oh well. It's worth it to me. It's good family time, even if it's a bit late.

No walking today. That might cure my fatigue. Or if Maia would push those teeth out and my sleep wasn't so disturbed. Tonight I drugged her up and she still went down hard. Sigh. I just have to remember it bugs her more than it bugs us, poor thing, and she doesn't know what's going on. She just knows she hurts.

My lack of energy is affecting my house work plans. I haven't been keeping up at all. The dishes are done, but we're getting low on underwear. And I haven't shaken hands with the vacuum in a while. I'm getting together with mommy friends tomorrow and we were deciding where to meet...my place or hers. Yeah, I opted for the non-cleaning option. So we'll be traveling the five miles to avoid the vacuum for one more day.

***

Such is my day. At this point I've been fed, watered, well, beer'd, and Veronica Mars'd. Now I'm thinking I'm tired because I go to bed so late. Bottle washing duty calls then warm flannel sheets. Hopefully we'll all get some slumber tonight. Darn teeth withstanding.

Until tomorrow...I'll try to do something of interest or merit by then.

3.02 Miles

That's it.

Bed time.

Fluff Ball

OK, business first: No walking today. Sorry. We had Music Together in the morning...only the most fun you can have with a small child in one hour...then we had an important appointment, which is the topic of the post, and then nap time in the car and a shopping trip to Trader Joe's. $167.00 worth of a shopping trip (if you know TJ's, you know that's a high bill...rarely do I bust $100) with no nibbles and only some wine. Yeah. We were out of food.

Our appointment was to see if we would be adding a member to our happy family. As you may or may not know, we lost our dear fuzzballs James and Violet in an evil, violent way over the summer. No desire to rehash. It's been five months and while that seems like a short time to replace our guys, I have been itching for a kitten for the past month. One reason is Maia, she's getting ready to crawl, so I feel it's now or wait another year before introducing a pet. I want a cat to be able to know the lay of the land, so to speak, before being chased by an infant.

I found a rescue group to work with. The woman who runs it is wonderful. While there were some hoops that John found kind of over the top--like the adoption application--we're getting a cat that is going to suit our needs: boy, playful, friendly, not skittish, able to self entertain and willing to be a house cat.

I met Cary, for Cary Grant, and fell in love. He's got a square face, fluffy ears, a puffy tail and a sweet playful demeanor. He loves cat toys. He loves to play. And he loves to be loved. At one point he flopped down on his kitty bed and as I began to pet his head his purr motor kicked in to high gear. I was hooked.

Maia made her animal "huh huh huh" noise and really wanted his tail. We'll be "house training" two babies I fear. He's getting fixed today, including shots and a microchip and he gets to come home to us this weekend. I'm so excited! I need to run to the pet store and pick up food and kitty litter. He's going to be an indoor guy but that will be just fine. I'll need to keep up on my vacuuming but hey, I need to do that anyway.

I think this is a good thing. I've missed our guys, especially James. While a new cat is not a replacement, he will fill a hole in the house. I love having cats around. I think the rest of the family will too.

Quickie

While it's still Saturday I'll make a note:

Spent most of the evening writing time goofing with new blogger templates. I'm feeling old. I need a new look--for myself as well. I'm dying to cut my hair, I just have to figure out where to go, how much to spend and what, exactly, I want.

Sigh. If only switching up the hair was as easy as switching up the blog.

No walking today. Lots of family visits though. We had a middling to poor breakfast in Turlock. Cool diner, but the food tasted as old as the formica counter tops. Dinner at the always good Aqui. Plus three desserts. Not all for me! We shared around.

Maia is having a bad bad night, so I really should get some sleep. I have the awful suspicion I'll be getting up many times for comfort tonight. If those darn teeth would come through already. We'd all be happier campers.

Time Flies

I thought this evening's post was going to be all about my brilliant nine-month-old daughter. How she's getting ready to crawl, how she still doesn't have any teeth but I'm sure that four are going to pop in at once on the bottom, how she doesn't eat solids yet and that worries me but no one else so I suck it up and keep trying.

Yes, I have spent the past week thinking about Maia being nine months and what a milestone it is. I've been excitedly telling people about it today. Nine months. Wow. Where have the past three months gone?

Yeah. Maia is eight months old today. Somehow my brain farted away an entire month. Between two weeks ago and today, she has aged an extra month in my head.

Ooops.

So let me tell you about my brilliant eight-month-old daughter...

No teeth. None. Big gummy grin...she grins a lot and laughs so that her eyes crinkle up and her nose scrunches delightfully. She does this when she bounces. She loves to bounce. We took her on a completely unplanned trip to San Diego last month. While there we visited with John's uncle and aunt who "snow bird" there. We were with them in their super-deluxe RV for a little over an hour and except when I fed and changed her, Maia bounced on my knee the whole time. If you stop, she'll pump herself up and down until you begin to bounce her again. Literally hours of fun for her.

No teeth. I swear I see the tiny white heads of her four bottom teeth ready to burst into being at any moment. Four bottom teeth. I don't see any signs of top teeth, and man, if this is her teething pattern we're in trouble. Because she's been mouthy and cranky for two months now. It's getting old. For all of us, poor dear.

No teeth...and she hates having her mouth toyed with. This is the reason I think she just isn't into solids yet. She doesn't like having things pushed on her and she doesn't want you messing about with her mouth. I've had some luck with these mesh-bag-ring-pop-looking feeding tools, but they are messy messy messy. Especially with banana. Which she likes. Sort of.

She's been getting up on one knee lately and reaching for toys out of her grasp and becoming quite the wiggle worm. Again. I remember--because it was oh so long ago--when she first really wanted to sit up instead of just laying about...this new movement is like that only she's headed for crawling. So many moms are put off by crawling. I'm really looking forward to it. I think she'll have a grand ol' time scooting about. Really. Our house is so small, I'll always know where she is. No stairs to worry about. Just some cabinets to sort out and some TV/stereo/computer equipment to secure away from her and hey....she can crawl all she wants. As it is now, I sit on the floor and read or surf the 'net while she plays and she bounces in her Exersaucer when I need to pick up the kitchen or cook. I don't see crawling as interfering with the chi of our day.

Speaking of the chi of our day: 2.5 miles walked this morning to and from class. Plus a nice hour long, with a pause to check out the new hair salon, 2.4 mile nap walk. That's a total of almost 5 miles today. Woo-hoo.

Then we chatted and played with the neighbors for an hour. M has an adorable two-month-old boy...also M. She let Maia (another M...hmmmm) try out the Jumperoo. Miss Maia didn't want to get out. She rocked the Jumperoo, as expected. Nice visit, with plans to go for a walk on Tuesday, but all this was to the detriment of kitchen cleaning and diaper folding and Maia room cleaning. I've not really been doing housework this week. Naughty naughty wifey. Next week I'll have to be better. Plus, it's nine o'clock and I have no idea what to do for dinner. I'm thinking about skipping it altogether. Or just eating sausage.

Get your head out of the gutter. I'm here alone.

That's it for this evening. Tomorrow brings us breakfast in the Central Valley with Grandma NorDelle and Grandpa Jack. Then dinner with Grandpa Gene and Grandma Susan. At least tomorrow I don't have to worry about what I'm going to cook.

Is It Too Late?

I'm wondering if it's too late for a New Year's Resolution. It's February after all. I'm hoping the year is still new enough.

In any case, I am vowing to write every day. Even if it's just a "Hi" and how far I walked. My other goal is to walk every day. Today: 2.3 miles. Short walk downtown. Don't ask for the time, because snacks were had.

Weather: Gloomy.

Daughter: Fine. More on her tomorrow.

Homework is done....yes I am back in school. I'm taking technical writing because I am a glutton for punishment. Just to do things right, I jumped into the hardest class for my degree after my lovely (new mommy-ing) semester off. John takes Maia on Friday mornings so that I might go. It's a perfect set up and I'm lucky to have it.

I need to print and initial my memo before brother dear comes home and the printer becomes out of reach until noon tomorrow. So many things to say...and I am making the time to tell it. Later.

Happy Birthday Love!

We celebrated John's birthday this evening. It's kind of strange, as all of the friends we celebrate have children now...the day's of showing up early and drinking all day until dinner are over. Now it's eat between nap and bedtime! Our friends from over the hill came over with their one-year-old. They have a hard time traveling, the little one doesn't like to sit in the car seat. I was so glad that they were able to come over today. Our other friends form down the way were a bit late because of nap time...but all in all it was such a nice time.

We made smoked prime rib and garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus and spinach apple salad for dinner...with mushroom gravy. Yum. The prime rib was wonderful, no matter what my husband may say about its overdoneness. I had a blast making the sides plus rolls and my favorite (also hubby's) chocolate cake. Brandy, cherries and chocolate all come together in a most excelent combination of flavors.

It was really nice to have a family evening. No one minded a fussy baby. No one minded a fussy one year old. No one minded a fussy almost three year old. Our friends have all been there and we will be soon. It was nice to just kind of be and drink wine and eat food and play with babies and be friends. It has seemed that the last few times we've been together it's been BIG parties and it's nice to connect with small groups on occasion.

We also killed a bottle of Zin...a bottle of port...a bottle of Bouteille Call from = Bonny Doon Vineyard. Don't ask. It's simply wonderful. My head is slightly spinning from the before wine as well. Oh well. It's December. Time to get spun.

Maia is six months now and I Have to write about that. But for now, I must ignore spell check and have another glass of wine before I tackle cleaning the kitchen.

Month Five...and Still Counting

I have not written, directly, about the babe in a while so let me fix that right now. Miss M turned five months old two days ago and the last week has been amazing! She is becoming so physical. She has mastered rolling over from her stomach to her back...at least from right to left. She favors her right arm as her pushing arm and hasn't quite gotten the fact that she could push with her left arm and go over the other way. If she's blocked on the left side she still just gets kind of mad at the situation. But it is so cute to watch her flip over and smile as though she were saying: "See what I just did".

She is about to become a real sitter. Last Sunday John put her in the sitting position and let go and she stayed. This week she has just gotten stronger. She still mostly sits "froggy style" with her body hunched over, but she's begun to pull her torso up. She also reaches for her toys form this position and is so happy when she gets them. She's giggling and has even laughed out loud at Daddy a few times.

Being physical is more than her development. I remember, well, it was only a couple of months ago, when we were so careful with her. I was ginger and gentle with every touch and tried to limit rough play. She couldn't move very well...and I didn't like to mess with her. As she's grown my fear has subsided and now one of our favorite games involves tossing her up and down while singing The Grand Old Duke of York We tickle and dance around and jostle to William Tells Ride.... you know...ba-rump-bada-rump-bada-rump-rump-rump-rump...John will toss and swing her and she just loves it. She loves to move, to be moved, to be tickled and touched. She reaches up when she wants to be held and responds to touch in distinct ways. It is so different from even a month ago when it seemed that she just kind of put up with us. Now she knows we can be fun too.

Speaking of fun, we had a family adventure this afternoon. We took Maia up for her first ride in the Mooney. We were planning to fly over to Paso Robles in central California for lunch. It's about an hour flight with a solid destination and food! We are thinking of flying to Idaho for Christmas and need to make sure Maia can tolerate it before we embark on a three and a half hour trip.

Maia has ear gear. Ear protection is paramount when flying in a small plane. I found soft silicone earplugs, actually they're called "pillows" and cover the outer ear. They help with the pressure change as well as provide decibel buffering. She also has her small earmuffs...powder blue and oh-so-cute! I thought she was set. Well, the ear pillows have a learning curve as to how they go in best and the muffs didn't hold them in her tiny ears as I had hoped. She became uncomfortable and started to cry soon after take off. I went into stress mode trying to calm her down, the bottle wasn't helping and I couldn't pick her up and darn if that girl will still not take a pacifier. We decided to head back for the airport and not push it; after all, we want her to enjoy plane trips. As we were being directed back to the airport, Maia stopped crying and took her pacifier, alleviating some of the discomfort. We decided to toodle around for a bit...she was fine and beginning to nod off. We thought we'd head over to Half Moon Bay, a short fifteen-minute distance. While we didn't want to push our luck, we weren't ready to give up altogether. She fell asleep during the approach. Halleluiah.

Half Moon Bay was nice. We had lunch at the brewery that could have been better, but we'll just go somewhere else next time I think. We wandered by the fishing pier and had tea in an odd little cafe near the airport. Then it was time to head back home.

This time I got smart with the silicone ear pillows. I had purchased a neoprene headband designed to keep earplugs in while swimming. I really smoothed in the pillows, wrapped the headband across Maia's ears and placed the earmuffs over that. There is no such thing as too much protection for tiny ears. She seemed kind of frustrated with so much stuff on her head...but quickly settled down. I had a bottle ready to go for takeoff and she was asleep before we had leveled off. Good girl! John chose to take to scenic route home. We followed the coastline down to Santa Cruz then popped over the hills into the valley. Maia did wake up for the last part of the trip but was a happy camper...finishing her bottle and playing with her toys.

I think we're going to fly for Christmas. We're going to do a little more altitude flying with her in preparation for going over the Sierras but now that the ear/pressure kinks have been worked out I think we'll be fine. It's a great thing to be able to make these trips together. John and I love adventures and I really want our kids to be able to experience them too. And hopefully love them as well. Maia looks like she's off to a good start.

Housewifery

It's time for the annual Jell-O brain mold for my friend's Halloween party. This is the party where--6 years ago--John and I first met. It is very much tradition at this point.

I'm making a giant Jell-O shot this year. A Pina Colada brain stuffed with marichino cherries and garnished with crushed pineapple. Coconut rum will be substituted for some of the water and there will be a "two slice limit". I had my Jell-O flavors all picked out to mimic the drink: pineapple Jell-O stirred with whipped cream and the coconut rum for the right kick of tropical goodness. I went to the store to pick up the items and what should I see lingering on the shelf past its summertime run? Pina Colada flavored Jell-O.

(This is the fifties housewifery part)

I got giddy over the Jell-O. Giddy that there was MY FLAVOR. Ready-made goodness. I now know how our grandmothers felt about convience food and why they remain so popular. One box and your dinner or dessert creation comes to life. It's Better Living Through Science at its finest.

Suburban Rant

I went shopping, as I often do, at Costco the other day. The store was crowded with moms, kids and retired couples...the staple shoppers of mid-weekday afternoons. We were just fine in the store thanks to our newest and most favoritest carrier the hip hammock. Love it.

The problem occurred after leaving the store and centers on lazy, inconsiderate people, i.e.: most of the parking lot population. Here I am strolling down the street on the way to my car to off load my bulky purchases, and I get to watch as some woman ditches her GIANT DOUBLE WIDE Costco shopping cart right next to the front driver's side door of my car. WTF? The cart stand is maybe 50 ft away from her parking spot and she blocks my door (which was parked across from her car so she did have to walk across the driveway and pick that spot) instead of taking her cart to the appropriate place. This just pisses me off. I came this close[-] to yelling at her...something along the line of "What do you think you're doing with that cart!!??" Unfortunately, I am not comfortable with confrontation. I just stewed.

I also, after unloading my groceries, had to push two double wide carts and balance a small child the oh-so-grueling 50 ft to the cart stand. This woman had another woman with her and two children old enough to sit in the car without special seats. There was one grown up to sit with the--older than my baby--children and one woman to take back the cart. If I had merely left her cart I would have most likely scratched my door trying to get on or completely screwed the car next to me. Granted, it was a bright yellow H2, but I like to think I'm better than that. So, I took the carts to the right place.

It seems trivial, and it is, but it is the small courtesies that make civilized life. It's letting pedestrians cross at unlighted intersections. It's holding a door for a stranger with full hands (or a stroller). It's putting shopping carts away. These are the actions that make living in a population dense area bearable.

I may not be perfect in everything, but I try to watch the small things. Small things matter, if they didn't the larger would fall away as well.

Traffic

It's funny the thoughts that find their way into your head while sitting in traffic. I was in Half Moon Bay this morning for the annual Pumpkin Festival. Traffic on the way home is always awful...a two-lane street winds through the hills to dump hundreds of cars onto the freeways. Estimated time to travel 10 miles: 62 minutes.

I found myself thinking...spinning thoughts...my mind sparked by landmarks from my teenage days. I spent many days in and around the beaches of the area. I was facing the Rite Aid, used to be a Thrifty Drug, where my friend and I bought ice cream and the cute spider tattooed boy behind the counter said I looked like a girl he knew and weeks later he remembered me outside of the punk club in Berkeley.

I was drunk. He was straight edge. He gave me a quote for the article my mom was writing on the club scene. I was researching that night. Usually I was drunk with no purpose.

I thought of Captain Morgan and the senior trip three of us skipped to play at San Gregorio State Beach. Our own "senior moment" before we were old. We jumped off of low cliffs (or high rocks) onto the wet sand and huddled in a cave that was only exposed during very low tide cycles to smoke the green goddess.

Somehow my mind came around to the car behind whose wheel I was now sitting. I drive John's car now. I didn't always. I was staring at the rear end of a relative of my beloved car...which John now drives. Babies confuse many things, cars and drivers among them.

When John and I first began dating we were a little wild. We were having fun, we still are, but not in the same ways. After we had been dating for--oh--about a month I took him to meet my family. And I mean MEET my family. When my parents were still together we would all go Christmas caroling sometime in December. It was tradition. I took John. He must have been really into me to have gone to meet my family (brother and sisters included) and SING with them after only knowing me for a month. I had to marry him, and now you know why.

We were driving back to San Jose kind of late at night. Eleven or midnight. We decided to race home. Race. Each other. Over the freeway we sped. I was pushing 100 mph at one point and we were moving across lanes just racing for the sheer love of speed and the fun and, yes, even the danger. It was glorious.

It all came down to the last stretch of the race. We were going to my house for the night. I zigged and he zagged and he made it around the corner and snagged the parking spot first. I gambled and lost. He told me he always had it in the bag, his engine is bigger than mine. I didn't care. I just like to race.

Now I drive that same car with the bigger engine, but I wouldn't, couldn't, race it. We once read a story about a couple that was into illegal street racing. Only, they carried their very small children in the back seat. I couldn't do that. Now I have the car that won and I won't race it.

And Half Moon Bay looks different and the drug store is changed and I'm sure the place where I bought the purple shorts because my jeans were soaked is gone...I drove there without my license because no one cared if I did at that moment...I have the license now. And the car. And I was sitting in traffic letting my mind spin fine webs of memory.

Got 'Em!

I got Maia her* Baby Legs. Pink and brown stripe. Too cute! She deserved a treat after her four month check-up, complete with shots and an unexpected blood draw--from the arm and everything. Ouch!

She's fine, she just has some dark spots under the skin on her legs that the Dr. couldn't recognize off the bat...so we did a platelet count to make sure it wasn't anything to worry about. It isn't.

She's a cool baby and far more trendily dressed than I.

*...You know that, except for the very basics, baby clothes are for the parents and by parents I mean moms...because how many dads would buy leg warmers for infants?

Bye-Bye Summer

Even though the weather has been chilling down and the mornings have been blessed with fog, I haven't been able to say good-bye to summer. After all, the afternoons have still been freakin' hot.

Until today.

This morning started out just like yesterday, cloudy and cool, but unlike yesterday it never cleared up. Yes folks, we had our first rain of the season and Maia and I got a small taste of days to come. I went to the farmer's market in the Cats...that would be three days running visiting the snobby older sister of my neighborhood...for my weekly fruit and veggie run. Then headed to the posh baby store looking for these for Maia. Not in yet, but they'll give me a call when they are. Why don't I order them on line? I will. But I want to hold them first, and buy the first pair with king cash. Then go crazy on the Internet.

Still cloudy and cool weather-wise, which was weird considering it was almost 2 PM at this point. The clouds kept getting angrier looking as I drove to TJ's to finish shopping. Side note: I HATE TJ's on the weekend. It's a small store to begin with and on weekends everyone couple shops (except me...but I have Maia, natch) and makes it even smaller. And with the rain it was even worse...ah yes. Here is the point. We had our first rain this afternoon. I am officially saying goodbye to summer. Yeah, I know it's October. I should have said good-bye weeks ago. But here we are and here comes fall for real.

So Maia experienced her first rain shower this afternoon. Good thing she had on her thick hoodie. Her little almost-bald head was covered as we dashed for the store. I was not so lucky. No hood, no jacket, just a sweater and too long jeans. I wasn't expecting this at all. Good thing I did opt for a sweater at least. This first rain was a heavy wet rain. A good rain, not just a tease of things to come. There was an accident on the freeway, no surprise there. John enjoyed the day for different reasons. He stood outside in the wet watching rain sheet off of HIS roof. A testament to his skill as a roofer. He's been waiting for this moment. But it came none too soon as John finished the garage roof only last weekend. John even climbed into the attic to make sure there were no leaks. There weren't. He may have a new career ahead of him. I joke. It was a job well done as today proved, though.

Also on the list of firsts for the season: Maia ROLLED OVER on her own and I MISSED IT!! She rolled over for Daddy and wouldn't do it again. Little stinker. I'll try and get her to do it for me sometime this week. But we'll be able to report it to her doctor and that will be fun. She's getting big but staying cute so we still like her. *wink*. And rolling over. Geeze. What's next? Sitting up? I'm hoping she'll at least do that for me first, since we spend so much time sitting together.

It's chilly this evening and I have a new book to snuggle up to. That's a comfort and one of the best parts of the season. Tomorrow I'll make my weekly library run...another season of West Wing to acquire. Maybe they'll have Grey's Anatomy or Lost to check out. I always run seasons behind on TV, but this way I get to watch with no commercials. It's a trade off I can live with. With that last thought I’ll bid you good night my friends and “Happy Fall”.

Notes on the Week

What does the well-dressed baby wear to the Cats for music class? I don't know and it's going to come to a head sooner or later. Of course, in the Cats, all the moms are well dressed too. And all giving each other tips on the very expensive and exclusive gym they belong to..."Oh you're at Courtside too? Have you done the baby yoga yet? Oh, she loves it and takes a nice nap as soon as we're done...giggle giggle". What does this mommy wear? Fat rocks and chic pants with the oh so hip wedge heeled sandal. If it's me, maternity jeans and loose tops because I refuse to buy clothes until I lose some more baby weight. It sucks right now because the maternity jeans are too loose, but my regular jeans don't go over my hips or butt. Yuck and sigh.

We all know how much I hate to shop for jeans.

It's much more fun to dress Maia.

But I digress. In the beginning of a post. In any case, music class is a ton of fun...especially watching all of the parents. All the kids in the class are around Maia's age, in fact, there's only one baby who can sit up. The rest of the kids lay on blankets or are held on laps during the songs. Little legs are moved, little tummies are tickled and the parents rock out to the baby music. One number is called "Sneakin' Around the Room" and we, the grown-us, sneak, wiggle, and boogie in a circle around our darling babes. I can just see the WTF look in Maia's eyes. But then she laughs and waves her arms and kicks her legs and all is good again. After all, everyone is doing it.

So we have a good schedule going. A playgroup might be forming on Mondays; I have Mommy Group on Wednesday and Music on Friday. Plenty to keep us occupied. It's fun, but a challenge to not become completely sucked into Babyville. I think that's why the crib works for me. At night, I have alone time...or time just with John...and that's the time I need to refuel the mom battery. It's hard being "on" 24/7.

Everything else looks beautiful. Our anniversary dinner was a success. Sushi on the couch and a bottle of nice sake. I replaced the battery of John's watch and he brought me new rocks. Life is good and my ears sparkle now. So I guess I'm all right.

Busy week ahead. Maia turns four months and goes in for her next round of shots. Hello whooping cough! We’ll talk about solids. And see how much she's gained. And how much bigger she is. It's a fun check. I know she's bigger but I like to know by how much. I also have plans to see my fave author, Neil Gaiman, in Berkeley. Plus all the usual running around and merry making. We're happy happy fun girls, Maia and I.

Yawn. It's getting late and I've really said nothing of import. Just a little update to keep me in your mind. Till next time.

September 25

It is the second anniversary of the day when John and I said, "I do". Smiles all around. I can't tell you what I have planned, though. It might ruin the surprise.

You are disciplined but tolerant; a true American.

How fascist are you? Find out here.

For fun, post your score in my comments. I want to see where my friends come in.

Good Lord...

...it's September already.

Maia will be 100 days old this Sunday. She'll be "one year" right around Wednesday or Thursday. Where has the time gone?

A Letter to Maia

This post was inspired by this site and a similar call on a message board to which I belong.

Dear Maia,

The day you were born was one of the greatest in my life so far. In you I saw so much from the time you opened you eyes to the time when you were bundled up and I held you so close. I always knew I wanted to breastfeed you, to give you the best I had to offer and to build a relationship like no other. This is what I believed at the time.

Three months and a struggle I didn't think would ever happen later, I know that it is not the contents of a breast that makes a mother but the contents of a heart.

In that first hour after you latched on, right after birth, I thought things would be easy. I was so sure of my body and of your ability I brushed off the kind labor nurse who wished us continued success with breastfeeding. I told her I was ready, I had read the books, been to the meetings. I knew what was going to happen next. You, Miss Maia, seemed like the "champ" I had read so many stories about. Your latch seemed good, no pain and you were there and happy attached to me still. Even after the lactation consultant visited, and helped me correct your latch and explained to me that I had to be careful with your placement because the way my nipples were shaped I was not worried. I knew my milk would come in full and voluminous and we'd both be happy.

We took you home (and I still can't believe they just let us walk on out with you!) and that's where the real struggle began. You had your days and nights confused. You would be such a sleepy baby during the day and during the night would just stay up and wail. We tried rocking, bouncing and swaddling. Nothing seemed to really calm you down. I fed and fed you but you always wanted more. We could sit and nurse for an hour and you would cry as soon as I took you off. You were losing weight...but that was to be expected. Your doctor didn't seem to be worried and I just knew everything would be all right in a day or two. I thought I felt milk coming in and was waiting for the feeling of engorgement that all new moms describe.

When you were a week old we couldn't get a wet diaper from you. You had lost so much weight the skin was loose on your little legs (so chubby and darling at birth) your dad and I knew something was really wrong. Guilt set in. I felt so strongly that something was wrong with me. My nipples are scarred and I knew that I had done something wrong and I could not feed my baby. I was devastated as I called the hospital lactation consultant and made an appointment with her that very day. It was there I learned that my milk had no come in and we needed to be feeding you fast. You were on the edge of severe dehydration. I cried as you took a bottle and gulped its contents down. I couldn't feed my baby. My body, the one that gave you life was now rebelling and causing you to suffer. I felt at that moment lower and worse than I had ever felt in my life. I had let you down.

It was there that day I learned a new phrase: Chasing the milk. That was what I set out to do.

The details are not important. I tried herbs, pumping, and drugs. Nothing worked and every new can of formula I purchased was another knife in my heart. This is not what I wanted. I envisioned a loving, carefree, breastfeeding lifestyle. I was going to take you everywhere...all you would need was a clean diaper and a breast and we'd be set. The bottle heavy, formula mixing, stress-inducing place I was in at this point was so far from my expectations. I was miserable. I kept you at the breast...you stayed there even after the bottle was introduced...but it was not the pleasurable experience of closeness I wanted but rather a task; a chore that had to be done. I dreaded feeding time even as you began to thrive.

You did thrive. You are a born eater. You gained an entire pound in the first week after we began to supplement you. There was nothing wrong with you and that was a blessing. It was simply mama who was broken.

Feeding was still a miserable time for me. I used to sit and cry over you as I fed you formula. My heart was broken. I couldn't talk about it without the tears beginning. I didn't want to take you out for fear of being judged a bad mama by strangers or friends as I prepared yet another bottle instead of putting you to the breast. It wasn't a good time and I am afraid that I missed out on some of the joy of your first months because I was angry and sad over the loss of our imagined breastfeeding relationship. Something had to change and it needed to be my attitude.

It was a dear friend of mine who put things into perspective for me, although it took me some time to be able to process and accept her words. She pointed out that while we had lost what I had dreamed about, it was up to me to take what we did have and make that special. Feeding, even bottle feeding, was still time to quietly connect, to let you know how much you were loved and to look in to your eyes and know that I was doing the best I could by you. I had the power to define my breastfeeding relationship with you.

I have set aside my guilt. We nurse the best we can. You are growing. You are happy and you smile up at me the same whether you're at the breast or at the bottle. I hold you close for both and remain connected to you. I am still sad that we don't have the relationship I dreamed about before you were YOU but I want you to know that you had a mommy who fought for you and did her best for you.

The last three months have been harder than I ever thought. I knew parenting would be a challenge, but this extra one pushed my to my limits. I didn't think I would ever be happy with how things worked out for our "breastfeeding relationship" but I am now. We have built our own special relationship. You are my darling daughter. You don't love me any less because I couldn't nurse you exclusively. In some ways, this struggle has made me realize how lucky we are. We have the luxury of finding alternative food sources; you don't have to suffer because of me. You will be able to grow and become a healthy child and adult even without the benefit of gallons of breast milk. We are blessed by options.

I am blessed by you, Maia.


always your loving...mama

Nothing Doing

Maia is asleep in my lap. She's too comfortable to move, and I love to let her sleep. But...laundry needs to be changed, groceries need to be bought and dishes need to be washed. Plus: I have to go to the bathroom and I HATE the show that's on the radio right now but the control is across the room.

Luckily the computer is right here.

My Leg...My Picture

just playing here...

Comic Con...or More Geeks than you can Shake a Stick At

Comic Con was more than I could have imagined. With 100,000 visitors over the space of four days...plus the "sneak preview" evening there is enough to see without the added bonus of the booths in the dealers rooms. Every day has a full schedule of drop in conferences ranging from how-to's of the comic world to meetings with artists, writers and directors. Television stations and movie studios rollout there new offerings to see how they fly with the masses and of course, the big comic companies are there in full force to show what's new and hip in the world of four color print.

In a word: Overwhelming.

Navigating this world alone would have been hard enough but add a small infant to the mix and one might have a recipe for disaster. I came into it knowing that I wasn't going to push Maia too far...knowing that would mean that I might miss out on some of the things I wanted to do. It did. I didn't hit all the panels I was interested in or meet all the cool people who were there (most disappointing was missing Henry Rollins, but oh well, the breakfast took a bit longer than anticipated). All in all, I did get to see what was most important to me and I did have a very cool brush with greatness.

Joss Whedon held my baby. Joss, because we're on a first name basis after all, is the creator of many a cult classic from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" to the grossly underrated "Firefly". John and I are Firefly fans. We even make those who have not seen it watch it. Our DVD's have made the rounds. We might not be completely fanatical--like my sister Aribelle--but we dig it, you know? We were hanging out by the Browncoat (as card carrying members of the fan base like to be known) fan booth waiting to meet with said sister--who is so deeply involved I'm surprised she isn't tattooed--when word went out that Joss was circling the booth. Well. This was the day when Maia was wearing her Kaylee costume, from the Firefly show. Soon we spotted him. A group descended for pictures. I sat down to get a bottle ready. I waited for the crowd to disperse some. I grabbed the baby and made my move.

The conversation, as it were went something along the lines of me stating that I didn't normally accost people, but would he be so kind as to take a picture with my Kaylee baby?

Joss: Is she really a Kaylee?
Me: Her name is Maia, but she's wearing a Kaylee costume...

I thought we would pose together, but being a dad himself, he has no fears of babies so before I knew it I was handing her over to essentially a stranger for pictures she will only look at with slight embarrassment when she gets older. But, she is so cute!! I figure, these photos are really for us anyway at this point.

The best part was when Maia had her bout of baby gas as she was being held, and Joss-the-dad kicked in by mentioning that she was making a poo. Great conversation. He then decided that yes, she was the cutest thing ever and wanted to hang with her for the rest of the con...so he turned away and walked a few steps before smiling and handing her back. Very fun.

Joss with Maia

So that sums up Maia's first brush with the famous. Her other encounters that weekend were in rooms with dozens, if not hundreds of other people, but I'm glad I went and got to hear some of my favorite people speak. Ray Bradbury is still the funniest man on any panel and still sharp as a tack. His advise on writing? It should feel like sex. I can see that...I'd rather understand writing as sex than childbirth...but I think publishing is like childbirth. At least the writing is fun.

I would do Comic Con again...but next year I'm rooting for AirVenture in Oshkosh WI. John and I need to switch off big conventions and he gets his next year. Of course, there is always something for the both of us. We did end up buying art the Comic Con. German advertising lithographs from the 20's. Yeah, we have interesting taste. All in all, given all I experienced in San Diego, I still think my favorite part of the entire week was the room fairies. With that, I must go and get some more sleep.

Vacation: Overview of a Week

Whew! Nothing like a week of fine hotel living to make you wish you had the money for your own staff. There is no feeling better to the new mom than the feeling of walking into a freshly made up room that she didn't have to make up. This was I last week. A week of living in the Hyatt Grand Manchester in, not Manchester England, but in San Diego California.

Ah San Diego. My spiritual home. "God's Naval" as my mom likes to call it. John, Maia and I went for an IEEE (read: major work related geek fest) conference and stayed for Comic Con (read: major fantasy/sci-fi/comic book geek fest). It was wonderful. While I didn't party as hard as some moms I know (well, their kids are older) I did manage one night of unabashed drinking at the best sushi joint in the state. Sake and beer to the point of singing Social Distortion along with two guys in a pick-up as I crossed the street while John strolled the baby in weird circles through a small park. That night we fed the baby a bottle, I pumped and threw out the breast milk. I even had a small hangover. In a way, it made me happy.

The days in the beginning of the week were long and filled with daytime TV. No Internet. I didn't want it. I wanted Oprah and Law and Order. I don't have television, as most people know it, so it's a treat to have a remote and watch whatever the networks put out there. And commercials. I don't miss them so much but I like how I feel slightly disturbed after watching them. I also had a cabana day by the pool. Tuesday afternoon is a good time for the pool. The cabanas were sparsely populated and Maia and I had a lovely time hanging out in a chaise lounge and ordering the pool boy around. Well, I ordered the pool boy to bring me a pineapple daiquiri. Maia just smiled and napped and ate her own food.

Wednesday Maia and I headed to one of my very favorite spots in the world, La Jolla Cove. The last time I was there I was pregnant and not far from delivery. John and I just strolled along the edge of the coast talking about the new life we were about to have. This time, I got to stroll with that new life and show her the ocean for the first time. We spent some time sitting on a large expanse of green lawn overlooking the cove that is a favorite place for divers and kayakers. I wonder if she'll remember any of that in her subconscious, and if she dreams of the ocean now?

Thursday through Saturday were spent at the convention center, and those days are entries in their own rights. Highlights? Neil Gaiman, Peter S. Beagle, Ray Bradbury and Joss Whedon. The Joss is the best story, at least for Maia. There are pictures of her first encounter with stardom up on the picture site. Too cute baby!

This week we've been settling back into the groove of things. Maia is keeping me jumping. She does everything in clusters. Today, after a week of not napping and staying up late, she's zonked out. I may pay for it tonight, but I've taken advantage of it this afternoon by doing laundry and picking up the living room...somewhat. I'll share more stories. I hope this nap thing lasts for a couple of days...but for now, my vacuum cleaner misses me.

I Really Need...

...to blog more. Sorry. I hope to better perfect one-handed typing in the future.

The 4th of July is my very favorite holiday. I look forward to it like a kid looks to Christmas. The combination of food and fire just makes me happy. Today, I have a piece of pork just a few ounces smaller than my daughter on the grill and a red-white-and-blueberry star shaped Jell-O mold in the fridge. The Fourth makes me crave nostalgia food...hence the Jell-O.

Tonight, we will try to bust out the 20lbs of fireworks smuggled back from our trip to Louisiana. Did I ever mention that John and I almost rented a car to fill with fireworks for the trip home? That plan was under serious consideration...but sanity prevailed and we made due with shipping them UPS ground. Somehow they made it past the state line, so big booms here we come. I, of course, have a large stock of "girly" fireworks: ground blooming flowers, tanks that spit sparks, hen laying eggs, star balls, and sparklers. The sparklers excite me. They are the magnesium ones with metal sticks to hold on to...the ones that look like little stars are popping off when lit, not just a stream of light. The sparklers we can get here, where they are legal, are really lame. I am always disappointed with them. I hope the Louisiana sparklers are the ones from my youth. When it was OK to run around with flaming sticks and you might burn yourself if you weren't careful. "Safe and Sane" give a false sense of security in the firework world. I'd rather experience the joy of mastering the dangerous with my fire. But that's just me. Again waxing nostalgic.

Happy Fourth!

By the Way...

There are new pictures posted for those who know where they are.

E-mail me if you haven't seen them yet. At some point in time, I'll learn how to link from Blogger to other sites. Or perhaps I'll find out what Flicker is all about.

In any case, enjoy.

Baby Wearer

Maia was three weeks yesterday. I have been going through phases of staying in all day with her or trying to do too much with her. For the past while, errands have meant loading her into the car seat, then either balancing the car seat on a shopping cart (a scary task for the one-handed Mom out alone!) or pulling the *light* stroller in and out of the trunk. What a hassle for short errands. I'd tried out the sling at home...but was still feeling wary about using it in public. I'm a new Mom...everything is a bit weird right now.

Wednesday I attended a "New Mommy" group at the hospital where we delivered. All the moms had the kids in their travel systems...car seats and strollers. The hall to the auditorium looked like a stroller warehouse. I was no exception. I had just settled onto the floor with Maia, having unhooked her and pulled her form the car seat, when in walks the slingin' momma. She had a beautiful pink floral ring sling wrapped around her 5-month-old girl. Both mom and baby looked great. She was casual as she unslung the baby and got set up on the floor. The baby was happy as a clam and mom had the easiest time settling in. I was watching with envy.

Later that evening at my regular La Leche League meeting one new mom in the group asked for a sling demonstration. I knew I had to get going on the slinging. I have a wonderful sling...long...full on pockets...purple to boot! I just needed a reason to get comfortable with it. All these other moms with slings, coupled with the ever-increasing desire within myself to get out more pushed me over the uncomfortable edge. I was ready to sling, or die trying.

Yesterday I needed to run three quick errands. Pharmacy. Target. Whole Foods. All in separate locations. Each stop would require a seperate car seat-stroller exchange. I didn't want to be gone for four hours to run three quick errands. It was time to break in the sling. I waited for Maia to go into her afternoon sleepy mode. I had her eat, changed her and loaded her into the car seat. I then realized that sling life would be easy if I put on the sling before I got into the car. Who would even notice the fabric while I was tucked into the car myself and it would save tons of time if I wasn't taking on and off the sling. After all...convenience is the watchword here. All slung up we went off to pick up mom's prescription. I found a parking place near the door with and empty space next to me so I would have some room to maneuver the baby into the sling. Carefully, I pulled sleepy Maia up and out and opened the sling. Something must have been in the air because she slid right in and into a perfect sling position. Her legs were crossed, her back was supported and her little head was peeking up and out but cradled by fabric. She was perfect and I was ecstatic.

The women at the pharmacy loved the sling. They thought it was very clever. Target went just as well for us. It was so nice to be able to go in and just pick up the couple of things I needed and run out again. The sling's pockets are deep and big, so I was able to put my wallet, phone, keys, and a burp cloth for Maia in them. Another bonus: No bag to lug around with the baby.

Whole Foods, which is a logistical nightmare akin to Trader Joe's as far as tight aisles and shopping carts go, was made much better by the sling and a small cart: a weird, small, cart that seems to have been made for the elderly--or moms with small children riding on their chests. Gotta love the upper-crust hippie store.

I am feeling so much more confidant with the sling. John and I are going to go out this afternoon, and I plan on slinging it again with Miss Maia. I have to finish the padded sling now; I didn't quite get to it before she was born. And I now am on the lookout for some beautiful floral print fabric of my own for a new sling...the fun never ends. It also doesn't hurt that when we got home, there was a package for Miss Maia setting on the porch. It seems that everyone wants us to sling together because inside the package was a wonderful hip carrier--for when she's a little bit bigger.

I may never put her down. :)

I'm Still Here!

It's been almost a month now, I know. My first excuse is finals.

Finished them. Yeah! Still waiting for grades to be posted. It takes forever for the grades to be recorded to our SJSU accounts. Why can't they figure out a faster way? Let teachers post directly for their rosters? There has got to be a better way. I hate waiting for the final grade to come down the pipeline.

My second excuse is. Well. I haven't really been in a writing mood since school finished. I needed a brain break and some time to get the finishing touches done on the baby room. It's still not "perfect" but at least it's set up and workable.

Which is good for my final excuse.

Our baby girl was born on June 2, 2006 at 4:15 PM. Maia Evelyn weighed 7 lbs 14oz and was 19.5" long. She's a dear heart. And very time consuming. And well worth every moment we get to spend with her.

We've had family in and out for the past week, and we've had some bumps on the parenting road already. I'll be sharing the details...but for now, the wiggle worm wants to be changed and fed and cuddled and loved, and I am only too happy to comply.