Thank You Mid-West

I awoke to overcast skies and a brisk breeze. When I left for school, it was about the same. Sometime in the late morning it sprinkled. A cool spring sprinkle. It was a perfect jeans and t-shirt day. I even wore a sweater this evening. Thank you mid-west for sending your rain out here, if that's where it came from. It has been unbearably hot in usually temperate Northern California for the past two weeks. This last week was the worst...hitting the mid 90's on Mother's Day as my mom toiled, painting the soon to be master bedroom of my house.

The weather has only been made less bearable by the large furnace residing in my mid-section. All I have to say is "Thank you Lord" for allowing me to deliver in early June. I could not handle being this big and hot any later in the summer, for sure.

In other news, I took two of my three finals today. I didn't realize how stressed I have been until I finished the last final of the day, the final I considered the toughest and the one worth a good majority of my grade in the class. I have been worrying about "making it through finals" from the beginning of the semester. I have been worried about not completing this round, and wasting these past months because I didn't get to the final. For the past couple of weeks, I have added to my stress by worrying about the actual finals...you know...doing well and getting good grades.

It had become so part of my routine, I didn't notice. Any tiredness, any mood swings, and kind of not normal feeling I have been chalking up to the end stages of pregnancy. I think I was worried about school, as much as anything else. I came to this realization as I left the classroom. I felt good. I felt good about the test, I knew what I was saying, I identified the passages, I knew the vocabulary, I wrote a decent essay. Suddenly, I realized I felt lighter. Physically lighter. I smiled, and it felt so very good. There was no tiredness left in my body. I have been recently coming home and sleeping for about two hours every afternoon. I could not be motivated to do anything. Today, I took the scenic route to light rail and simply enjoyed the walk. The air was clean, the day still cool and breezy. I was happy. I am happy.

Everything looks good right about now. I hope the cool weather stays for a bit. I have one more test on Wednesday, but I'm ready for it. Then, a couple of blissful weeks waiting for baby. Suddenly, the fact that our old roommate still has a room full of stuff here doesn't seem like a big deal. We'll get resettled when we can. It doesn't seem so scary that the house needs a good cleaning...I have some time now and energy to do it. And if not, well, that's what Mom is for after the baby comes. I am now looking forward to a summer adjusting to the demands of new parenthood. It doesn't seem as daunting as task as it did a week ago, when I absolutely melted down in a store because they didn't carry the "right" brand of baby bottles. I have just about made it through the semester. I have almost completed my goal of getting one more year of school in before baby. I am a few classes away from my bachelor’s degree...and now I feel as though I have the luxury of finishing at my leisure. I have proved that I can handle university.

It's a good feeling right now; one I hope doesn't soon go away.