So Begins our Summer Adventure

And he's OFF! John took off for his motorcycle trip this afternoon...later than he'd hoped but ready, I hope, to have a grand adventure with his dad.

I'm here with the girls ready to: clean, pack, sleep, swim, play with friends, and take off to the Great Pacific Northwest on Sunday! Woo-hoo!

My obligations have been taken care of so now it's house prep and trip prep. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. It will be surreal to travel with my girls and not my husband. But it will be empowering as well, if we survive! (and of course we will)

I've got my route mapped and my hotel booked, with the (by now) obligitory "You're a busy mom" comment from the booking agent. I guess they get few requests for a room for one adult and three small children.

I'll let you know how it goes.

A Few Good Things

I've been whining.

So the following is a random list of some very good things that have happened recently:

1. Saw Death Cab for Cutie with John at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. I have loved the band for a long time but this was the first time seeing them live. We managed to squeeze into some great "seats" (general admission we were standing) and the show was great. Lots of good music, some fun banter and a good crowd. A lovely evening...we would like to go to some more live shows in the future. Also, best "sing along" I've been a part of at a concert. The crowd added to the depth of feeling in the song and it was just...perfect. So happy.

2. I have reached a new low in my quest for weight loss. I broke into the 150's and am currently a bit loose in my size 12's. These are numbers I have never seen in my adult life. Also so happy.

3. I spent a weekend in Hollywood with a good friend of mine. I went alone and got silly, slept in, went to a Farmer's Market that served drinks, made trailer cupcakes, danced at a goth club, ate yummy food and so awful-it-was-addictive food came home to a sparkling clean house, dinner, clean children and a happy husband. Very happy.

4. Elise can crawl like nobody's business.

5. Maia knows how to swim. And loves the water--on her own terms.

6. I found the perfect all-butter sugar cookie recipe. The one I've been looking for. No fuss, delicious cookies. Soft, crunchy, buttery but not shortbread-y. I'm happy. My waist line might not be.

7. Stella is a snuggle baby. I love that.

8. We are going on a date tomorrow night. We are hiring a babysitter (our first paid one) and going out for some one-on-one adult time. I think I will even go out and buy a new dress for the occasion. Or a skirt. Because all my skirts are too big. :)

Restless

We've been busy. Very busy. Maia just finished up five weeks of swim lessons--which is wonderful but scheduled activities always take more time than I suppose. I love to watch her in the water. She has so much confidence, and if she would gain just a bit more she would be swimming laps in no time. We spent most of this week at the pool. I love it. I wish I had my own, I think I'd never leave the house. So maybe it's a good thing we don't. ;)

But in between the fun we've been having is a nagging sense of restlessness on my part. I'm not comfortable in my own skin right now. I'm feeling disconnected and out of sorts. I want some time alone, or maybe I just want some child-free time. John has been working up a storm and I am feeling the weight of parental responsibility. Yea, I know. I signed up for it, but everybody needs a lunch break every now and then.

I have this crazy fantasy of showing up at John's office and sweeping him away for an evening of delicious food and good conversation. It involves a new dress and a babysitter and the look of surprise on John's face. But I'm afraid that's to remain a fantasy. The logistics are too overwhelming in this case to actually make something like that happen.

Second plan? None.

We need to get ready for our trip...which is currently in a state of flux. So I don't want to make too many plans until I know if John is coming with us or heading on his own adventure. I'm kind nervous about taking all the kids on my own. I'm trying to think about how I will unload the car, and haul all of them through rest stops, restaurants and hotels. Where will we all sleep? And three meals on the road? One will be in the car, but still. I have to figure how I can keep the stroller assembled and still fit in the babies pack-n-plays and a large suitcase for all of our goods. So far the best plan I've come up with involves packing an overnight bag separately so I don't have to unload the entire back of the car for one overnight stay.

That's something at least.

Maia is now up and I must begin my day in earnest. Good morning.

Open to the World

Alright, big news! Maia, Stella and Elise each have their own on-line "baby books" now live and ready for viewing.

Stories and pictures of Maia can be found at: http://maiaevelyn.com/
Stories and pictures of Stella can be found at: http://stellamadeline.com/
Stories and pictures of Elsie can be found at: http://elisecarolyn.com/

The blogs are still a work in progress with John hard at work updating pictures and layouts, but we thought we'd go ahead and open them up for the world to see.

Have fun coming along on the adventures of our three little ones.

Night and the Sitting Baby

John and I employ a whole lot of ignoring when it comes to night-time wake ups with the girls. We let them fuss for a few and usually they settle right down again. Stella and Elise are big enough at this point that they do not need a night feeding and small wake-ups from teething or just the normal cycle of sleep-wake aren't made a big deal of because then those wakings will turn to habits.

Last night was a crazy night, sleep wise, for everyone. We were at a Fourth of July celebration and though we said we weren't going to stay late, of course we did. We ended up putting Stella and Elise down at our friend's house and then packing them home around 9 PM. So "bed" in their own beds didn't happen until after 10 PM. They seemed to be fine until we heard the wail at 2 AM. Stella was agitated. Very much so. We chalked it up to the strange night and let her fuss for about 5 minutes. Then she was quiet and we dozed off again. Around 2:30 she was at it again, just kind of fussing and moaning and then quiet. At 3 when she began wailing in earnest I decided it was time to get her out of bed, feed her something and get her to sleep again before all her sisters were up in the middle of the night.

I stumbled sleepily into the bedroom and there was Stella. Sitting in bed. I've never seem her sitting (on her own from a prone position) before and it was kind of strange. I brushed it off, picked her up and proceeded to feed, cuddle and get her back into bed with a minimum of thinking.

As I turned off the kitchen light and headed back to my own bed a thought fluttered into my addled brain. Stella doesn't like to go from a sitting position to the ground. She doesn't like to fall and has yet to figure out the controlled way to get herself down. How she got up by herself is a mystery....but she did manage it somehow. But, I wondered, was her fussing because she simply didn't know how to get down again?

I really hope she wasn't sitting in bed for an hour just waiting for someone to put her down. If she wakes up tonight, I'm checking out the night vision camera and then...we'll be working on Stella's dismount.

Nine Fourteen PM (PDT)

It's 9:14 and I am too tired to clean, cook, pack a lunch for tomorrow or bake. This sucks and I finished the book I was reading.

Sigh. I should motivate.

Let Down and Release

I am feeling very tired from the past two weeks. Ready to nap, get the kids in bed early, and loaf about. Alas...I have adult life to live somewhere off the Internets and I can smell one of my children right now. It smells like work. And blah, I can't remember what I planned on making for dinner tonight.

Bonus extra: Maia just wet her bed. Her loft bed. With less than 3 hours until bed time to get the darn thing changed up. Sigh. Here I go, then.

Not My Favorite Thing About Babies

Stella is a vicious explosive baby this morning. Started off with a 5 AM wake up call...which I let slide until 5:45. Upon entering the room I discovered that she'd overfilled her diaper with poop...and now I must strip her bed and have it all washed by nap time, because, of course, I don't have a spare mattress pad.

After a 1/2 hour diaper and clothes change I gave her and Elsie their morning bottles only to have Miss Stella violently gag and throw up at least half of her breakfast. On me. She had just finished the last pull when this happened. It was still warm and that sucks. So now I must also strip the futon cover (big pain in the butt) and get it in the wash. Because this room will fast smell like rancid puke once the day heats up.

At least Maia is still asleep and the twinks are now playing quietly. Once John gets up, I think I'm going back to bed.

What Not to Say to an 8-Month Old

Because Stella has hip and cool (ahem) parents she is sporting a leopard print correctional helmet. Yes, she has a problem with the shape of her head. It's growing out nicely now, thanks to the helmet. But it is very obvious and we receive numerous comments on it, ranging from "Why is she wearing a helmet?" to "What a great hat/helmet!" But we've never run into the scene we experienced last Saturday at Costco.

Stella was riding in the ergo carrier with John as we walked past the bakery where a very forward older woman was hawking Costco croissants and giving out samples. We stopped to give Maia a bite and as we were turning around to head to the fruit section the Costco Sample Lady says in a very loud smoker's voice "What a sexy helmet!" My reaction? "Ummmm...thanks?" John begins to move a bit quicker away from the Costco Sample Lady but...she follows us to tell us more. "Yeah, that's a sexy pattern...my mother had a nightgown with the same pattern so I know it real well."

Really? Thanks for sharing...we just smiled and nodded and backed away as quickly a politeness would allow. I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd let out a "Rawr!" followed by a bawdy wink.

I think this is the kind of thing John was afraid of when he expressed doubt as to whether or not leopard was appropraite for our daughter. Yikes.

Mother's Day

The following exchanges were overheard at the park this afternoon.

Father (of ~3yo girl): Where's Kate?
Grandfather (of same): I thought she was with you.
Father: No. She didn't come with me.
Grandfather: She said she wanted to go with you...

Now very concerned looking around the playground. And then they head off in the oppsite direction of where Father had just come from.

Me: I saw her go (points while feeding infant daughters) that way, after you.

Father and Grandfather turn in correct direction and find said child happily playing at the adjoining play area. Whew!

(Different) Father (watching two children in the enclosed play area): They're going in different directions! I need backup!!

This was directed to Mother and Friend who were chatting five feet away from the play structure.

Happy Mother's Day to everyone.

Happy Month-Day Girls!

Stella and Elise turn eight months today! Hooray girls!

In related news, I sleep through the night and am enjoying a regular morning nap. Well, I don't nap but the babies do. Morning nap is quiet play time for Maia and myself, although today I might perhaps try to make headway in the disgrace that is my kitchen.

Or waste time on the Internets. Whichever will be more fun. ;)

Favorite Things

I've decided that my new favorite place is the playroom. I've installed my computer here by the futon and perched on the couch I can watch the girls play and read/write/laze about while feel like I'm not totally ignoring my children. It is also the one room that I can control the chaos in. The toys all have a place and it thrills me to no end to find the missing pieces of things...and make them come together again. To make them complete.

I wish I had the rest of my house in the order the playroom is in. But aside from the newly established sleeping space my house, literally and figuratively, is not in order.

I think Miss M and I are in similar spaces. And with the decision (not mine) to cancel the house cleaners I need to figure out fast how to keep it all together. But the cleaners had become a crutch and my intention to focus on clearing out the stuff and clutter between visits never materialized. I was able to limp along further with the thought that at least the bathroom was clean. Of course, it's been a month now since the sheets were changed...

Lists, systems, ways of functioning are meaningless when the hurdle I have to jump is my own inability to take action. If I can not do everything, and do it perfectly, I can not seem to begin at all. And I can not. Can. Not. Just do "one" extra item a day. It seems as though my days are hard enough to get through with the basics done. Tonight the decision was to bathe the children and not make dinner. Tomorrow we have appointments all day and somehow, I have to finish making the house guest worthy.

Of course, simply writing this is not helping. But maybe thinking what I need to do through is the first step in getting it done.

If You Want to Give Me a Present

I miss my point and shoot camera. These girls have been far too cute for words lately and I am missing all the pictures.

Like right now Stella and Elise are wearing these too cute little skirt outfits...the same thing in different colors...and rolling on the playroom floor.

I could get John's camera. But I'd really like my own. So, if you're out shopping please think of me.

Electronic Leashes

I think if I had just not answered the phone this afternoon, the 5 feet to the car would have been easily traveled. As it went, Maia did an escape artist trick and left me in the dust with one baby in the stroller and one sleeping on my chest. Not my finest moment.

Thank goodness for patient friends with better behaved children--and that the spanking threat still works.

Next up, obdience training for both parent and child.

Having a Break

Today has been a day that I wish I could just check out of. I don't want to be responsible for anything, really. I just want to eat cookies and watch TV. Maybe I can make that happen.

Then sleep and we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Two simple Pleasures:

Watching all the girls play in one room. Even if they're not playing together they are occupying the same space contentedly. It's bliss to watch Maia create her elaborate games, Elise sit and mouth and block and Stella desperately try to get mobile.

Gorging myself on fresh baked cookies. I can feel the pants getting uncomfortable but I'll worry about that tomorrow. For now, another chocolate cherry oatmeal cookie. Still warm.

Time for a...Twin?

(This is an article I wrote for my multiple group...but I realized I never told the story here! This is how we first met Stella and Elise)

March 17, 2008. I showed up on my friends doorstep an ultrasound in hand. She answered the door expectantly and I heard my 21 month old daughter playing in the background. Wordlessly I held up the grainy black and white image from my OB. It took a moment for the image to make an impression and when she realized what she was seeing she laughed delightedly “Twins!” Wordlessly I nodded and entered the house to collect both my daughter and my thoughts.

John and I have were married in September of 2004. He’s a Silicon Valley geek and I’m a foodie turned cook turned pastry semi-pro. We love to have adventures together, big and small. We’ve been up and down the West Coast, have taken a small plane trip (with John at the controls) cross country, and have even pegged the speedometer (of a Jetta wagon) on the Autobahn. We always knew we wanted to have children and often talked about the fun and amazing trips we would then take as a family.

When discussing how big our family would eventually grow to we had a running joke. I come from a family of six, I have three siblings and I love larger families. John has one sister and thought two was the perfect amount of children. I loved to joke about having nine kids...or more! And he would counter that he was “good for two, so you better have twins the second time.” We’d both laugh at that, there was no reason to suspect that we’d get that lucky. No twins in either of our immeadiate families, so that meant no twins for us.

We were delighted and blessed to welcome our first daughter, Maia Evelyn, into the fold in June of 2006. A year and half later we decided our lives weren’t complicated enough so we decided to try for a sibling...never suspecting we’d get more than we bargined for.

I found out I was expecting in Febuary last year. Because it was my second pregnancy and everything had been perfectly normal with the first, my OB didn’t need to see me until mid March. I made the appointment and began the wait to get the first glimpse of our new baby. The pregnancy felt different from the first one, right from the beginning. I had awful “all day sickness” and was extremely tired but nothing cued me into the biggest surprise of my life. As a family we even kept plans to go on a long weekend snow mobile trip, and there I was eight weeks pregnant cruising (and crashing...but that’s an entirely different story) along on a snow mobile for the very first time.

St. Patrick’s Day began fairly normally. I had my first appointment with my OB at 2 PM. John was on board to meet me there, although he was swamped at work testing the latest product from his company. I don’t usually like afternoon appointments, but this was the first I could get and I was anxious to make sure the baby was doing well, especially after my snowy run in with a tree. I dropped Maia off with a friend so she could play and I could go through the appointment unencumbered. I arrived on time, and sure enough the office was behind. Afternoons always lend themselves to emergencies and I understood this. As I settled in, John showed up to wait with me.

I was taken back to get the details over with...John would be able to come in while the ultrasound was being preformed. But the day was not going well and I ended up sitting there for 40 more minutes before my doctor could see me. We went over how I was doing and as she got ready to check the baby for gestational age and that all important heartbeat she asked where John was. “He should be in the waiting room” I replied. “I didn’t see him there...let me check again before we look at the baby.” Out she went to locate my errant husband. When she returned, John was not with her. Not knowing where he’d gone, but suspecting that something had come up at work during the long wait, I got ready to “meet” our latest for the first time without him.

I lay back and let my doctor do her thing. She was making notes and clicking away, when suddenly, it got very quiet. She turned the moniter around and said, “Take a look.” I looked, but what I saw was a split screen and some dark wiggles. “Is everything OK?” I asked, still worried that I had knocked the baby around on the snow mobile. “Yes,” she replied, “everything is fine, but you’re not looking at a broken moniter...you’re not seeing double...look again.” It finally dawned on me that I wasn’t seeing a split screen, I was seeing, “TWO babies?!” My doctor chuckled. “Yes. Two healthy heartbeats about twelve weeks along. You’re due October 10.” I couldn’t believe it and John wasn’t there to share the news! After I caught my breath and could sit up again I was handed my picture of Twin A and Twin B.

As I was leaving, my doctor looked over at me and remembering my husband and his intense fear of having twins from our first pregnancy (where all he wanted to know was that there was only one baby in there) said, ”Let John know he should stop making jokes, they have a funny way of coming true.”

Of course, the very first thing I did after leaving the office was to call John. And of course he was hard at work in a noisy lab running simulations. Our conversation consisted of me telling him we were having twins and him saying “What? I can’t talk about this now. Call you later” and hanging up the phone.

About four hours and a good conversation with my girlfriend later, John calls back. First words? “You were kidding about twins, right?” He thought I was messing with him because he left the appointment without notice. After I told him I had proof, he promised we’d have a good long talk that night...after he had a beer with the boys.

It didn’t take long to get over the shock and get excited about our new arrivals. We had to modify our original plans (good bye single stroller and hello double plus a carrier!) and are still figuring out how to fit all these lovely children into our home (good bye office/guest room and hello sleeping room/play room) and car (we are certified car-seats-for-non-van-vehicles experts now).

Our surprise babies arrived a bit earlier than our EDD and on September 8, Stella Madeline and Elise Carolyn arrived on the scene. Stella was able to come home with me right away but Elsie decided she just didn’t feel like breathing...so she was monitered for a week in the NICU. Today they are almost eight months old and absolutely perfect. We love our three girls and wouldn’t have it any other way.

We’re so glad to have found the Gemini Crickets group and be able to share in the advice, support, and wisdom of the many multiple families represented. We attended NEP meetings while still pregnant and it was wonderful to see that what we were experiencing could be managed. I always know that someone out there will have an answer for me and I hope I can offer some support to families after us still working through all the fun and excitement of raising more than one baby at a time.

As for adventures? We’ve already taken all the girls on their first road trip...a quick jaunt to San Diego over New Years and have plans for a couple more this summer. An extra “baby on board” isn’t going to slow us down.

Home (alone)

I am of course not alone. I have all my daughters with me, but I am reminded of John's absence in small ways. The coffee pot wasn't rinsed out last night. For some reason I never remember to rinse the coffee pot and John just does it as a matter of course when he gets home from work. (I am sure this bothers him to no end)

This morning the coffee pot wasn't rinsed out because John isn't home. Also, the coffee I make is never as good as the coffee he makes. It's too strong this morning.

I missed the garbage truck. I hope we can make it until next week. Sorry hon, I should have taken it out last night.

But, I have an organization project planned and since I'm not really concerned with a big mess in the kitchen I might just get it done by Sunday morning. That would be a very good thing.

Maia came into our room this morning where I had decided to feed the babies and snuggle just a bit longer. She climbed up into bed and said: "I miss daddy. He had to go bye-bye."

Yeah. I miss daddy too.

Lent

I so need to get to the library.

We gave up television for Lent and I intended to read more books, write more, and generally socialize with my husband at the end of our collective days. Instead I've been staying up too late wasting time via the Internet.

Next year I'm going to cut the electronic unbillical cord.

Ouch

So the beer I picked last night for our pitcher to share ended up being a 7% Belgium-style ale.

So delicious. Until the combined horror of way to little sleep and not enough food hit.

Now I must stumble through the rest of my day with a not so delicious hangover.

Ouch.